#it DID come out of nowhere but like. i feel like its sort of more interesting than just white lily being fully DE
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Grace. Grace.
GRACE, oh my goooooood 🥺😭💕
Your reblog has been sitting in my drafts for a while, because I don't even know how to repond to such gift beyond getting all weepy and incoherent but immensely and indescribably grateful🥺
Where do I even start??? Probably by saying thank you, even as that doesn't even hope to encompass the magnitute of feelings this comemnt-reblog brought me. Thank you so so much, for reading and for taking time to write a magnificent reblog that makes me feel like I'm a novelist whose work is being analysed by a very kind literary critic🥲 I can't believe you divided your journey through reading into parts, Grace, I can't even-- 😭😍
Ehm. Me too, I will put my response under cut because of spoiler and because I need to react to SO MUCH PRAISE 🥺 Also I feel like it is absolutely crucial to mention that your comment is damn poetic and like a work of art in its own right 💕
Alright, first of all, I am absolutely delighted you related to the reader easily and that the character and role of nature as the only solace translated so well by you and for you 🥺 That was truly important for me, because the way our little bird feels about nature drives her actions and I need characters' decisions and behaviour to make sense. (Also it's always so wonderful to meet a fellw nature lover who feels the same as me).
TBH, just to know everything would be okay, I'd climb a damn mountain and jump into clueless waters myself if I can.
This is insanely relatable and I'm glad we came full circle 🥲 But I did giggle when reading you liked the apple peel curling into an A 🤭
The snowflakes as "prompt and warning" somewhere in the corner of her mind whilst still waving it off for the fact that nothing can be as worst or as capable of some ugly human minds!
That's just facts but thank you so so much for noting that line 🥺
Holy Fireplace!!!! The way you described Andy surely warmed me up real good, alright!
Hehehe, GOOD. I needed that 🤭 I'm so so glad it worked well for you as contrast and thank you for your praise on the drowning scene it fought me with vigour
It had me sniffing, love. This was simply and poignantly perfect
This has me sniffling. I can't believe a piece of my writing was called poignantly perfect 😭 and a 'marvelous play with words' 🥲
Oh, he had more than a clear idea how better she was feeling! Doesn't he? 😏🤭🤭
...and this made me cackle 🤭I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm an innocent baby and a saint.
And the little bits of introspection she has about her insecurities, relating to Andy, and the back-and-forth just add so much beauty to the whole thing. It makes the story you, Anika! 🥹🫶🏻
'scuse me, I'll just:🥺🥺
I laughed when I found myself nodding at this. It’s absurdly real, though! But how would you ever know that, Anika? You’re fucking gorgeous (healthy friendly flirting stating facts)😍🥹🩷🤭🫶🏻
You beautiful human, you'd better known I'm kissing you on the forehead at least for this an blushing (#healthyfriendlyflirtingrules). Also thank you for appreciating me trying to spill real-life facts of how our world works 🥲
In retrospection, how did you manage to transition from strangers to that TENSION? DARN GOOD JOB! OH. BOI. THE TENSION's got me wheezing and making ugly whimpering noises!
I drugged her to make it happen
Girl, guuuuuurl, thank you so so much for complimenting the tension I tried to built 😭💕 I'm am ecstatic you found the tension believable and while sort-of coming out of nowhere, not coming out of nowhere 🥺
Also, I am happy to serve horny feels 😂 As it is with many fics, self-indulgence is the way and this story has not left me unaffected 🤭 I had to take you down with me ✨
WHAT THE GIANT ICEBERG!!??!!??!!
*blushes and giggles*
I'm crying. Oh no, I want to hold him so badly and comfort him. I know I’m all messed up in the head, or maybe it’s just you writing this so well that I’m aching to comfort him.
If I have the tinniest credit for making you feel that way, I feel like n absolute WINNER
Oh, OH! IT MAKES SENSE!!! The Flashes...IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
*dances a victory dance because god did she try hard not to make it obvious from the start but slid a hitn ehre and there to all dost to connect and MAKE SENSE indeed 😭* But also - all my love to your nerdy (affectionate) brain 😁💕
You���ve shown the powerful shift between them. My gawd, I’m still grappling with that… his vulnerability, her assuring him, the tattoo…
Thank you, thank you, thank yoooou for remarking 🥺🥲 It's such a gift to have a sweet attentive human notice all the little things I tried my best to weave through 🙏
This reblog-comment, all the praise and love threaded through had, does, and will continue to shine tender light into dark days 💕
I already established that thank you is not enough, but my brain is, again, a useless much of goo and blushes that I don't know how else to express my gratitude. Sending hugs and kisses and love and I hope your days are at least half as kind to you as you are to others 💕
Walking Back Into My Own Myth - A.B.
Type: long one-shot, significantly AU, supernatural elements
Pairing: sorcerer!Andy Barber x reader Word Count: 22,2k (🥹)
Summary: They warn you not to wander the woods alone; but the woods feel more like home than the house you grew up in. They warn you not to confuse your head with childish tales of supernatural; but sometimes fiction feels more real than your own life. They warn you not stay alone with a man you just met, let alone in his house; but sometimes danger lurks in unexpected places. Sometimes, one can rely on the kindness of strangers. ... Or can they?
Warnings: soft dark, NSFW, 18+, smut (unprotected sex, oral, fingering); softdark but rather soft I think (come on, it’s me, also sort-of redemption arc?), dubcon, sex pollen and non-consensual ‘drug’ use, orgasm control, allusions to praise kink, possessiveness; supernatural elements, near drowning, mention of a dead animal, arseholes relatives, allusions to mostly emotional (past) abuse, minor injury and blood, language and SO MANY words and so much smut; 'little bird' as a term of endearment
A/N: Alright. First of all, this is one of rare occurrences of me writing softdark, so be warned. Second, this story is a callback to a perfectly innocent lovely event by @yenzys-lucky-charm back in autumn, specifically to this post. And third, I do realize that 22k fic is a massacre. I believe it flows best when read as a one-shot, but if you are understandably intimidated by that, there is a heart divider approx. in the middle where I feel taking a break is most suitable. At your convenience. Enjoy 💕 A/N 2:Dividers by @saradika-graphics
The frozen leaves were crunching under your boots, a soothing sound between your harsh breaths and huffs and occasional curses interrupting the otherwise peaceful song of the woods; rustle of the glazed grass, soft creaks of the branches bowing to the wind, a barely audible clinks of sharp snowflakes having created a beautiful harmony.
A harmony much needed after you had just left the utter chaos of a family gathering which, as usual, ended up in drowning the holidays in a cesspool of negativity. And as it often did, the negativity seemed to revolve around you.
You didn’t know what you had been thinking, coming here. You had a life outside of this small town, a mostly good one too; you had no reason to visit your hometown whatsoever, year after year, naively hoping for a change. But family was family, your mother always said; one did not turn back to their own blood, even if they had become the almighty big city girl.
As if. As if you were that.
The said big city was now finally feeling at peace as she had walked out of the door, having had her fill of lousy loud human beings, turning to the quiet of nature instead.
The one place where you all truly came from.
The one place that loved you no matter what.
The one place where you had never been and never would be judged.
You had always been drawn to woods, even as a little girl.
To the quiet place to hide from the overwhelmingly loud world, from boys pulling your hair until your eyes watered for their fun, from other girls cutting it for the very same reason, from teachers waving it off with kids can be a bit cruel, so what?
Of course you kept escaping. The embodiment of the cliché of a small town since young age; the designated weirdo. The one who’d rather ran through the woods than the few streets and newly built clothes store; the one who was more interested in fairytales and myths than videogames; the one fascinated by pagan tales from the old continent and local legends than the Bible. The very definition of pariah; side-eyed by peers, looked at through fingers by the adults and elderly. No matter how much you had moved towards normalcy to be approved of during the years, the small-town folk, as always had put the label on you having used the special kind of glue they were experts at making. It stuck.
And so did your love for the woods.
Hikes became your hobby, the woods your only solace. The safest place on Earth; for which many gave you strange looks still, more so since you had moved to a big city that offered but a daily walk in a minuscule patch of greenery.
Naturally, parks weren’t the same as here; here, in the woods, you felt like you could finally breathe.
The only reason why you had chosen the city was your job; your job and the visceral need to leave the very people you had just left in the house far behind. The city was but a jungle of steel and glass and concrete, constant noise and raging sea of people crushing your soul; but if there was one thing you hated more than the suffocating atmosphere of a city, it was the small-town gossip and narrowmindedness.
You only came back to your hometown once a year, for Holidays. And every year, you regretted it.
The constant jabs from your family, about your job, your tiny apartment you finally moved into after years of having to cohabitate with various unique personalities; about your hair and make-up, about your weight, wrong no matter which side of the scale it leaned to. The never-ending biting remarks about being unable to keep a man. And all that, followed by offended comments that you couldn’t take a little teasing.
Mocking was the right word. Goddamn bullying.
So no, you could not take a joke like that; especially when they were twenty in a row.
And you had tried, you truly had. You nodded and chuckled and complimented and helped around the house, but nothing was ever done right. And you suffered the mocking, because in the end, those people were your family and family loved each other and maybe you were indeed a little too sensitive. So you kept trying, year by year. You had been to Sunday school as a kid, despite despising it, really – so for Holidays, you joined everyone in their prayers, coming to midnight mass, participating in traditions. Like a good girl; like a good daughter.
You accepted the family hypocrisy too and participated in that silly and very much non-Christian tradition of theirs, of all single family members throwing apple peels into water to reveal the first letter of their future spouse’s name; every year, despite the game being rigged, an utter nonsense, if for nothing else then for the fact that everyone ended up with an O or C or U, because, well, that was what apple peels looked like. Ironically, all your siblings and cousins had actually married someone whose name started with the very letter they had received in their ‘prophecy’, a little too self-fulfilling for your taste; but you congratulated them anyway and kept throwing the apple peels in too.
And you did it wrong, again; a scandal. This year, your apple peel curled mysteriously enough to a create a form resembling a cursive A, the first in family history. You always had to have something extra, didn’t you? God.
You loved your family; you did. You told yourself you did, because no one was perfect and unconditional love was bull. But you had never felt so completely alone and unloved as when you were with them.
You wondered why that was; and the answer was clearer than the skies on a freezing December night. The tears that stung in your eyes had little to do with the wind growing icier and sharper; it had everything to do with clearly being an unlovable person.
If you never came back from your walk, they probably wouldn’t even notice. Not until they felt like humiliating someone, again, and suddenly realized their favourite target was missing. Who would be their next victim? Probably you. The joy of talking about someone behind their back was a great substitute to laughing to their face, you supposed.
You scoffed and sniffed, shaking your head as you resumed walking. The short trail you had set off to – slightly underdressed, you had to admit – looked different than usual this time of year. Indeed, only the frozen over, crunchy leaves instead of snow; not even winters were what they used to be. You should have never come back.
As the falling snow finally seemed to stick, rather pieces of messy ice than soft snowflakes, you made the executive decision to stay away from your relatives and this town next year.
This year would be last they ever they’d ever see you.
Arriving to the clearing among the trees brought a genuine smile to your lips, the first one in two days. The sight of the lake – too small to become a favourite destination of families during summer heatwave, hugged from afar by tall white birch trees and caressed by long leaves of grass and reeds with a single old willow tree offering a sanctuary to a little girl wishing to enter other worlds through reading – moved something deep within your chest. A memory of peace, nostalgic longing for days when life had been easier – but it hadn’t.
You gulped, letting you heart lead your steps. Pulling out hands from your pockets, your fingertips grazed over the white bark, flexing gently as if to grasp the harmony of the old days where escaping the judging looks by getting lost in old myths still appeared like a plausible solution to all problems. Brushing over the thin branches of the willow tree, you could almost feel the summer breeze toying with the leaves, protecting your ears from the echo of scoffs and cries. Stupid fairytales! Pick a real book for God’s sake at least! Learn the Scripture instead! Blasphemy! Fables for silly children! You’re messing and confusing your head with those childish fantasies!
One corner of your lips rose higher, a memory of just how much fonder you grew of the stories with every speck of dirt people threw at them. Folklore, was the right word. Old wives’ tales. Legends. A touch of magic from times when people still believed in it and wrote their faith into traditions that could be sacred and bloody all at once. How was that different from drinking the blood and eating the body of Christ?
The hypocrisy of a small town.
You too, were a bit of a hypocrite, you assumed; you badmouthed the apple peel tradition, only to dive with fascination into myths and traditions of another; but those, those were yours to explore, yours to cherish. Not pushed at you.
You remembered sitting in the willow’s shade, much smaller at the time, reading with batted breath the stories of crime and punishment for toying with forces beyond human compression, with life and death. A series of stories passed by word of mouth, gathered and weaved into simple poems; a tale of two sisters walking in the death of a night on Christmas Day to a frozen lake, wishing to glimpse their future in the water surface. You recalled the moral of this particular story too; it was better not to know; in the story, one of them learned about her upcoming marriage, the other about her own death. Was it truly something one wanted to know…?
Perhaps there was morbidity to it, but it used to fascinate you; the mystics of it all, the morals, the question of what if you had that chance. What would you do? Would you, too, be seduced by a mirage of your dead beloved to walk to your near demise? Would you give in to the temptation of riches at expense of a life? Would you risk gods’ punishment for wishing to know what only gods were meant to know, your future?
Would you?
With a bitter chuckle, you crouched by the lake, fingers carefully caressing over the thinnest layer of transparent ice.
Years and years ago, even a month ago, you would say it was not worth it to tempt fate. It was better not to know, to be content with what one had at any given moment, to only keep on hoping for a happy ending rather than to learn about an inevitable tragedy; such was the message of the old tale, sticking with you firmly your whole life.
Then, two weeks ago, your cheating dick of a boyfriend – ex-boyfriend, naturally – graciously gifted you a broken heart as an early Christmas gift on top of everything else barely kept together with your weak hands.
Would you like a glimpse of the future, a speckle of hope, looking at you from the water surface? Yeah. Hell, you might jump into the ice-cold lake if it meant someone would tell you everything was going to be okay.
A shiver ran down your spine as a gust of cold wind blew, weaving snowflakes into your hair; a prompt and a warning, you would have thought several years ago, a childlike faith in the supernatural.
But there was no supernatural. Oh no, humans managed to punish themselves and each other just fine on their own, sometimes without a crime preceding it.
With another chuckle – because what was the worst thing that could happen? You’d see your own face staring back? – you pressed against the thin layer of ice, surprised by its firmness.
“What the-“
You leaned into it further, pushing harder, more bewildered by the resistance than anything; a distant sound of a creaking wood reached your ears, the wind playing in the branches.
An echo of a voice.
A soundless whisper of your name.
Your head snapped to the direction of the almost haunting voice, nothing but the clearing and the woods surrounding you.
“I’m losing my mind…” you muttered under your breath, sighing, turning back and pressing against the ice once more.
The sudden loud crack took you by surprise, your feet slipping as you retreated your hand too quickly, losing your balance.
The next thing you knew, a scream was dying in your throat as you gulped for air, the freezing water gripping you neck to toe, your suddenly heavy limbs feeling like having to move through thousands shards of glass.
Your body spasmed painfully at the brutal temperature drop, even your lungs burning from the seemingly colder air.
Your heart thundered in panic, beats so wild the poor muscle might actually burst or simply give out, your temples pulsing with its frantic echo. Your vision blurred with black blending into all the white surrounding you.
This was what encounter with death looked like; ice-cold, sharp, pale and hopeless.
You were going to die and your heavily flailing limps barely keeping your head above water would not be enough to save you. You were going to drown. A bastard child of a sob and desperate gasp for air tore from your lungs, the ice cutting through your skin and flesh.
Then, the haunting call of your name again, closer, warmer.
Come to me.
I need you.
Fight.
You hungrily bit for more air, your head spinning, the voice growing louder with every word, urgent, but soothing all the same, like a helping hand extended.
Don’t you give up.
Come find me.
It might have been God; might have been the spirits of the woods. Most likely, it was the shock making you hear imaginary voices.
Your fists clenched despite feeling like your knuckles were being grazed by razors, a deep cut not drawing blood but making it turn into ice instead. Still; you pushed against the water, feet kicking madly, the tears springing from your eyes as burning as lava in comparison to your skin.
Another kick. Push. Arms so heavy, and so, so cold, thousands of knives piercing your flesh, tearing a desperate raw cry from depth of your lungs.
You squeezed your eyes shut and screamed again, pushing with all your remaining might, throwing your arms around.
Solid surface. Crunchy leaves. Your dug your numb fingers into the stiff ground, grabbing nothing but dirt but pulling and kicking out at the same time anyway.
A minuscule motion; your chin, your neck, on the solid ground. Not thick ice – earth. The woods. Your best friend.
A pathetic cry of laughter burst from your ribcage, shaking violently as you forced your muscles – not even feeling like your own anymore – to keep pulling. To keep kicking out, an absurd imagery of your ex’s face being behind your feet causing you to choke out a brief bark of laughter again and pull. And again and again, your shoulders, torso, legs, sagging against the frozen land.
Your body shook beyond your control as you tried to roll over, your boots making a pathetic splashy sound that barely reached your ears over the pounding in your head. Your chest was expanding and deflating rapidly as you laid on your back, slow blinks against the still falling snow and the sight of grey skies. Every single cell in your body screamed in pain, every motion like a fresh stab wound, but you couldn’t stop; you couldn’t stop shaking.
Whatever survival instinct you had took over as your hands pushed pathetically by your lower back so you could sit up and then scramble to your feet.
The process of standing up seem to last an eternity and half, the temperature dropping further; and when you did stumble to your feet, standing on legs that bent to the wind almost as much as the leafless branches, you nearly toppled over and fell head first back into the lake, your vision blurring.
Whether the water surface would show your future was the furthest thing from your mind; it was just the cold. Brutal, deadly cold. That and warmth.
That, and the strange kind voice, perhaps your very own guardian angel who seemed to love you, the only being in this goddamn universe, whispering in your ears.
Come, my love.
Keep walking.
And you did. Dry sobs erupting from your throat, boots practically freezing to the ground in between every step, exhaustion and the unforgiving cold etched into the very fibre of your being, you dragged one foot along the other, step by step, the miniature distance walked mocking you harder than all your relatives combined.
But it wasn’t their voices you heard; this one was sweet. Like a hot chocolate with whipped cream and pinch of winter spices on top, warming your frozen bones; like what you imagined a hug by a fireplace felt like, a kiss to your temple with affection without pretence. Like gentle palms cradling your face before his lips touched yours, tasting like true love; like a burning touch to your bare skin, dragged so softly, teasingly, before finally giving you what you desired.
Come to me.
I’ll keep you warm.
Keep you safe.
Dark spots danced in your vision, making you dizzy, your heavy eyelids slipping shut; your knees, quaking so hard they could no longer carry you, buckled and sent you plummeting.
Your palms met a rough surface as you flailed your arms out, barely caught against the bark of a tree, scraping your skin enough to draw blood. Your eyes snapped open, another ragged sob tearing from your achy throat.
And that was when your vision cleared despite the blur of tears.
A light.
A cabin. A small house; a cottage? Who the fuck cared.
It was an occupied house; warm light spilling from one of the windows, smoke coming out of the chimney, a promise of everything your body desperately cried for. Almost feeling its warmth radiating all the way to your numb fingertips, you gritted your teeth, strength you never thought you possessed poured straight into your veins, having already almost frozen over.
In the very back of your hazy mind, it occurred to you that you had never seen the house despite your numerous hikes; then again, you had no idea where you had walked, left being right and right being left, the only one certain direction being forward.
Again, who the fuck cared. You had never seen a cozier place in your lifetime; a lifetime that was soon going to end should you not will your useless legs to keep moving forward.
Reaching the porch staircase, you grabbed onto the beautiful wooden railing for balance, propping up to make the step.
And missing it.
You sagged against the railing, barely catching yourself before hitting your head. You propped back up, forcing your leg to rise higher, one step, two steps; the one remaining as tall as the Everest.
You sobbed again, lamenting the absence of the warm honey-like voice. Where was it now, huh? You were so close and needed another nudge, another-
The door of the house opened cautiously, revealing an outline of a figure, inviting light spilling around him; a tall, broad man, his face, the most handsome features you had ever set your eyes on, twisted in a frown and a flicker of horror.
For a beat of motionless silence, it flashed through your slippery mind who of the two of you appeared more frozen in the absurd scene; another beat, light and delicious warmth pouring from inside the house, like an oasis in the middle of a Siberian dessert.
And then he was moving, without a word, only sucking in a horrified breath as his hands slid under your arms and lifted your near deadweight with little effort, helping you not only to overcome the last step, but also the endless distance from the stairs into the doorway.
The interior was warm enough to make angels weep, enveloping you like a loving hug; but his touch felt like a central heating poured into your veins, his grip firm and certain despite the ice patterns having grown on your clothes surely cutting into his skin. Perhaps all alarm bells in your head should be ringing as he kicked the door shut behind you, leaving you alone in the middle of godknowswhere in a stranger’s house, a stranger who was now leaning you against the wall as your legs gave out at last and fought with the zipper of your coat no less, but they didn’t.
No alarm bells; all you heard was his gentle whisper.
“Let’s get you out of these.”
Zipper torn away, hands sliding under the fabric to peel it off of your violently shaking body, your teeth kept clattering.
“I’ll get you warm in no time.”
Your sweatshirt next. Your boots. Your socks; a cry of pain escaped your bluish lips, his warm hands gently enveloping your foot to allow you bask in his warmth.
“I’m sorry, I have to do this. We need to get all these off.”
Your shirt followed.
Your body, as if on instinct, moved slowly but willingly in tandem with him, small motions to aid him rid you of the cold until it didn’t.
You could feel the change of temperature bite into your icy wet skin, a lick of sharp pain; an instinct led you to reach out back for your clothes to fight the once again brutal change.
He grasped your hands, easily gathering your wrists in one palm, a gentle but uncompromising grip.
“No--- no! Look at me. Can you hear me?” he asked.
The squeeze on your wrists and the direct question finally pushed you from mindless haze to blurry reality.
It dawned to you that yes, climbing back into cold soggy clothes would not help.
Jaw quivering, teeth still clattering, you nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, only following his order. And oh, were you looking, the reality creeping in slowly, but gaining sharp edges just as a brief smile passed his lips.
“Good.”
That he was. Good.
And incredibly handsome.
Not but a few years older than you, dark well-trimmed beard complimenting his sharply cut features, elegant nose girls must have swooned over as much as over the surprisingly warm blue of his eyes and his slightly messy hair combed up in a way that called for your fingers to run through it. His shoulders and arms, while not enormous, gave impression of being able to carry you without too much issue, lean waist and long legs with muscular thighs making him look like some sort of a fever dream of yours; or in this case, a brain-freeze dream.
“I’m going to pick you up and carry you to the bathroom, alright? I’ll start a bath for you,” he explained, his hands already sliding under your body – and gods, was his touch like a taste of heaven, so deliciously and thoroughly warming against your painful goosebumps – rising to his full height and delivering on his promise as your hands automatically reached to wrap around the back of his neck for stability.
He did not even flinch at the icy touch; he did not even blink at the fact he was now carrying a woman, a perfectly vulnerable woman, stripped to her underwear sticking to her stiff nipples, so cold and soaked through that the fabric might as well be non-existent, completely see through because of course you had chosen white today. But he just kept walking. His gaze roamed, perhaps growing slightly darker, but mostly focused on your face and the path.
He truly must have been a figment of your imagination.
The cloudy droplets remaining on your skin seeped into the lovely light blue of his henley, a shaky apology spilling from your tongue, earning you another smile and a shake of his head, the former turning softer when you stuttered out a ‘thank you’ as well.
Without a word, he set you down once he reached his destination – bless the floor heating feeling like prickly heaven against the soles of your feet – moving to the bathtub and starting the water as you simply stood there, wrapping your arms around your body for both warmth and keeping your non-existent modesty. As he tested the temperature, he checked up on you from the corner of your eye, a swift head-to-toe glance before he took a small bottle by the tub, adding a few droplets to the water. Soon, the bathroom was filled with pleasant smell of fresh blossoms and herbs.
“We can’t have the water too hot as not to shock your system, but this essence can work true magic, believe me. Come on.”
An absurd idea of being thrown into the water and having your head held down under struck you, freezing your feet to the floor.
He remained stood straight by the tub, tall and large and so much stronger than you, hovering. His concerned eyes met yours, suddenly wide with fear.
A warm voice; a haunting whisper.
Come to me.
I’ll keep you warm.
I’ll keep you safe.
A shudder rocked your body, still trembling with the cold having seeped deep enough to reach your very soul.
Come, my love.
I need you.
“Can you hear me, little bird?” a voice cut through the fog of your mind, causing you to wince, an image of a baby swallow of all birds flickering in your vision.
A hazy memory of the innocent sweet creature having fallen from its nest, your own small hands, hands of a curious child, tenderly holding it in both palms as you lifted it back to its home. There you go, little bird.
A sharper memory, hands stained with dirt as you covered the small bird in its shallow grave, having found its wing torn away just as a group of boys were running away from the lake, with a burning hope in your heart that the bad luck meant to follow those who kill a swallow would catch up with them. Your tears felt cold on your cheeks, so cold against the white-hot anger of having seen them hurt an innocent creature, a breathy whisper of sorrow and compassion on your lips. There you go, little bird. No one can hurt you now.
“I’d never hurt you, little bird. I promise.”
You blinked, eyes refocusing on his sincere features, his hands raised in the most universal gesture of meaning no harm.
What an odd phrasing, you thought. What an odd nickname. Endearment, really.
Another shudder ran down your spine, but your feet began moving on their own volition, shaky steps towards the bathtub, the man’s steps, in return, retreating to give you space.
Something in your heart trembled softly at the gesture, the smallest of relieved smiles in the corner of your lips, one he hesitantly reciprocated.
“I’ll leave you now. I will only bring some dry warm clothes and leave them by the door, okay? I’ll wait so you have time to get in,” he assured you. “I’ll knock and I won’t look.”
“W-why?”
The question fell from your lips before you could think twice about it, earning you a sad smile speaking of just how profoundly he understood the duality of the question.
Why wouldn’t you take advantage when it would be so, so easy?-- - Why do you, hell, everyone, think I am not worthy of staying for and looking?
“Because you deserve better, little bird,” he said, sincerity threaded in the simplicity of his words.
You deserve everything, the echo of the warm voice washed over you, fresh tears stinging in your eyes.
“Stay as long as needed. We have all the time in the world.”
With those words, he finally left the bathroom and closed the door. The key remaining in the lock from the inside; you could easily deny him access and force him to place the clothes outside. It would be a wise thing to do, too, to protect yourself, especially with how vulnerable you had already revealed yourself to a stranger, a much larger man who could choke the life out of you or take whatever he pleased.
So why did you want him to come here, to check up on you, to come closer and look, the thought awaking an entirely new kind of heat inside you?
You shook your head, peeling off your ice-cold underwear and climbed into the tub as fast as possible, even as you knew it might hurt at first, the reward only coming after a while.
Instead, an entirely different experience awaited you.
You couldn’t supress the moan of pure bliss as the water enveloped you and warmed you through in an instant with what could only be described as love; tenderly grasping your frozen-through flesh, caressing your skin in a way none of your lovers had ever bothered, leaving not warmth, but heat in its wake, your muscles relaxing and stringing with anticipation all at once.
You observed the water, not having even stilled yet, with mute wonder. Your skin, having earned grey undertones, was back to its natural colour without a tinge of pain, having you swallow a cry of relief. Essential oil or not, your stranger had not exaggerated; this indeed felt true magic.
It was a mere bath; but it felt so sinfully good your body turned pliant in an instant, your adrenalin-filled mind clearing and fogging in bliss.
Carding your fingers through the water curiously, it felt as if the water returned the affection tenfold, caressing your skin all over again, slow and sensual. A circle on the water surface with your middle finger felt like an invisible soft touch up your inner thighs, a teasing that left burning need in your core, so painfully out of place and oh so right and addictive. Swirling your hand in the water playfully; a sensation of hot lips attached to the apex of your thighs, firm and hungry.
“Good--- heavens-“ you sighed, head tipping back, your lips parting with a gasp, something in the back of your mind tingling with danger.
Having nearly died – and the realization should be like a bucket of ice-cold water, a terrible pun intended, but it was nothing short of exhilarating instead – you did not retreat from the danger, sinking into it instead.
The delicious warmth inside you only grew as if a reward, your fingers gliding through the water again, a breathless whimper on your lips as you felt a delicious stroke deep within your sex. Another curling touch to the water; a curling pressure against your special spot, stars flickering behind your eyelids.
“Fuck-“
Come, my love.
I’ll keep you warm.
I’ll keep you-
A knock shattered your illusion; you grabbed the edges of the tub with a gasp, blinking open your eyes not having realized you had closed them, sinful images of the very man who now stood behind the door dissolving and yet remaining torturously vivid in your mind.
“Everything alright, little bird?”
“Y-yes. You can come--- come in,” you stuttered, heat of embarrassment washing over you like a tsunami.
God gracious-
What kind of a crazy person were you?Who in their right mind, no matter how scrambled from near-death experience, would lust and touch themselves – but were you? It felt like someone else did, and gods, did you love that feeling, needing more – who would do this, right in the bath that the kindest stranger, so respectful of their privacy, ran for them? Imagining him, no less, his large warm hands gripping you as if he never wanted to let you go, needed you more than air-
He slowly opened the door ajar, a careful, respectful peek inside the room as he slipped a pile of neatly folded clothes through the crack, his gaze finding yours.
“I hope you’re feeling better, little bird.”
Oh he had no idea just how much better. He couldn’t have and yet, something in his gaze sparkled, something dark akin to amusement, so alluring, quickly replaced by a flicker of contentment once you nodded, not trusting your voice, again. It was only then when you realized you were still slightly above water and perhaps, whether he wanted or not, he did get a peek of your breasts.
Not that he commented on it. Because out of two of you, he was apparently the decent one.
“Good.”
Without any prompting, he moved back.
He was already closing the door, when you blurted out the question. “Wait---! What’s your name?”
You gulped as he paused, his gaze meeting yours again.
“Andy. You can call me Andy.”
You tested the name on your tongue, a sweet treat you found yourself wanting to taste over and over.
He rewarded your efforts with a smile, one that had air catch in your throat.
He had smiled before, a heart-stopping curl of lips on an exceptionally handsome man. But now, for the first time, his smile reached his eyes; warmth like no other spread through your veins, a longing settling in your chest as the door closed and you were left alone – and wanting – once more.
The clothes were too big for you, sleeves and pantlegs too long, unsurprisingly; and unsurprisingly, they were as just as Andy said, warm. And very soft and comfortable, with tones of a scent that made your head spin in the best way, tempting you to bring the sleeves up to your face and breath in deeply just before you rolled them up.
They were just a pair of sweatpants, a henley and a sweatshirt, boxer briefs and a pair of fluffy socks; but they felt like home.
And so did the space.
Andy had carried you up the stairs; a beautiful staircase made out of light wood with traditional sturdy railing, offering a view of the ground floor. Sneaking from the bathroom however, it was not where you headed straight away, your eyes drifting towards the other two door at your level, your stomach making a funny flip; perhaps an office or a guest bedroom and his bedroom. The tingle in your fingertips as your hand reached out of its own volition for the doorhandle was almost unbearable; you had to clench your fist hard enough for your nails to leave moons on your already scraped palms.
You shook your head at your own creepy urge to explore, turning a sharp right towards the stairs instead.
Heading down where you could hear clinks of dishes, you took every step slow, fingertips brushing over the railing; it almost seemed to pulse with warmth of life, causing your breath to catch. Or perhaps it was the view of the ground floor.
When Andy had brought you inside, your vision was still rather blurry, all your attention focused on not dying of hypothermia and on the handsome stranger sent to you by heavens itself; now, when you had the opportunity to appreciate the interior, you did.
The living room seemed as if cut out from a lifestyle magazine, except it didn’t, little details making the scape appear actually lived in. A quilt thrown over the armrest of a small sofa, a pillow or two on each of the pair of armchairs in earthly tones of green, large enough to hide in comfortably with a book, the stony fireplace inviting for cosy winter evenings; the three books balanced on the coffee table in a hazardous stack whispered of how Andy might have spent some of his evening exactly like that. Four bookshelves filled with readings of various length, in between several pieces of art on the wood-panelled walls, not expensive on a first glances, but perhaps all the more loved. A pair of wide windows offered the last remnants of daylight, aided by the warm fire of the fireplace. Multiple plants to compliment the earthly tones and woodwork; and yet what made you smile was the abandoned empty cup, whispering of this place being someone’s home.
Resisting the urge to linger and perhaps examine just how soft was the quilt and how comfortable the armchair would be, you followed the noise to the kitchen; rather spacious as well, tuned to slightly darker colours than the rest of the house, the light entering from large windows prevented it from being too dark in daytime, the lamplights immersing it in warmth at nighttime. The wide counter stretched along two walls as well as the cabinets, creating enough space for variety of dried herbs, teas, spices and other casings as well as several basic appliances, the workspace almost robust in comparison to the dining table with three wooden chairs and soft emerald cushioning.
There seemed to be so much love and attention poured into the space, much like into the cozy living room, that couldn’t but you wonder which of the two were the true heart of the house to Andy.
As you entered and he turned to you with a smile, you couldn’t but believe it might be the kitchen, for he looked as if he belonged; and with an unfair pang of jealousy, you realized it was also hard to believe he lived in his home alone.
Then why did he give you his clothes, a voice in the back of your head questioned. Why did you see no photographs of a lovely wife or family? Why did he look at you from head to toe and back, meeting your gaze with his smile growing, a content, almost possessive glimmer in his eye?
You were losing your mind, you were sure; and the unfairly handsome stranger was the cause of it.
As he was the cause of you liking the fact all too much, the flash of a memory of how good it had felt to play with the water, imagining his hands mapping out every inch of your body, made you shiver and your breathing waver.
You needed to get a goddamn grip on yourself.
But how could you, when his warm voice washed over you, a gentle deep timbre, friendly, resonating in your ribcage?
“Hey. Good enough fit?”
“Yes,” you agreed quickly, clearing your throat as your voice came out rather choked. “Thank you, Andy. I can’t repay you enough.”
“Nonsense. Come sit down,” he beckoned to the table lightly, taking a wooden tray with two cups of tea and a teapot and setting off the same direction. “I don’t know about your tastes, but I think this tea could be just what you need.”
You smiled hesitantly, your heart swelling at his offer. He had already done so much for you, helped you in, ran a downright magical bath for you, lent his clothes to you; sitting down and stealing more of his time felt like an imposition, taking all too much with no way to repay him indeed. And surely, he had so much better things to do.
But it would be impolite to refuse, you argued with yourself as your steps instinctively followed him, as you pretended it wasn’t the way the muscles on his shoulders and back shifted under the thinner navy shirt he had changed into hypnotized you, his mere presence, a certain quiet charm, tempting you to stay. And if was asking you to linger for a while longer… yes, it would be very impolite and you’d be your worst enemy.
After all, tea sounded like a wonderful idea for your suddenly parched throat.
“’Kay.”
His smile with a crinkle in the corner of his eyes was like a caress on your cheek, ending with his fingertips under your chin to tip your head back for a kiss.
You needed to get a grip on yourself. Fast.
As you sat down across the table from him and he set one of the cups in front of you, the strangely sweet herbal aroma washing over you as well as his attentive gaze, you caught yourself wrapping your hands around the cup not only for warmth, but for steadiness as well.
Your heart seemed too unsteady in the face of the handsome man, skipping a startled and entirely too pleased beat when you took note of him doing the same with his cup – almost comically small in his large hands – revealing an absence of a wedding ring.
Come to me.
Come, my love.
I’m all yours.
Heat flushed your face at your observation and at the painfully clear echo of a sweet voice, your head snapping back up.
Andy observed you with certain kind of curiosity in his blue eyes, wordless intensity that almost made his irises appear darker. It had your heart hammer in your chest with everything but fear. It was magnetic, almost coaxing you to climb over that damn table separating you and-
“Thank you,” you blurted out, nodding towards the tea, taking a quick centring breath and then cleared your throat. “You have a lovely home, Andy.”
“Thank you. It took a while but… I did make it into my own space.”
My own space, he said. A deliberate or coincidental choice of words?
Was he telling you, between the lines, that there was no one else and that he had noticed your ogling and didn’t mind, welcomed it even?
Or was it subtle reminder that you were but a guest invading on his own space and peace and his hospitality was nearing if not already overcoming its limit? People did not choose to live secluded like that on accident.
Mostly, you reminded yourself self-deprecatingly.
“Thank you for letting me into your home. I promise to be out of your hair soon,” you assured him. It earned you a disapproving frown.
“Nonsense. I’m glad you’re here. It’s pretty cold outside.”
“No kidding,” you muttered, lowering your gaze briefly. “I just… I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”
Meeting his eye again at his thoughtful hum, there was something infinitely warm in his features; it travelled through your veins, a shot of ecstasy of being wanted spreading into every cell in your body and making you feel light and anchored at once.
“Don’t worry, little bird,” he said, one corner of his lips rising higher in almost a smirk as your breath caught at the endearment rolling off his tongue with what could only be liked to indulgence. “That’s impossible.”
He held your gaze, your heart thundering in your ribcage, minute breaths coming out short by the minute as he seemed to lean in closer, stealing oxygen from your lungs, heat pooling in your belly. Fuck, he was so close, tempting lips framed by the beard you just knew would be soft and just the right amount of harsh against your skin, against the intimate flesh of your thighs-
“What happened at the lake?”
You startled in your seat a little, hands twitching, a powerful painful skip of a beat of your heart, the intimate bubble having grown around you popping with a loud snap.
“W-what?” you breathed out. “How did you know-“
“It’s the only body of water nearby,” Andy responded, voice perfectly levelled, oblivious to the cold fingers of fear creeping to the back of your neck. He smiled even, despite the concerned lines on his forehead. “Suppose you didn’t decide to get a dip in the fountain and walked all the way from the centre of the town.”
I’d never hurt you, little bird, I promise, his earlier words echoed in your head, followed by another almost haunting promise.
I’ll keep you safe.
And then, a sultry one:
I’ll keep you.
“Oh.”
You laughed nervously, shoulders slumping.
It felt so silly to be thrown off guard by his question; it made perfect sense he’d figure out you were by the lake. And you had to admit, that quip of his was quite funny too – as much as it was clear he added it to put you at ease.
“Eh, sorry,” you muttered, unsure where to look, too embarrassed to meet his gaze. Your hands found the cup again like a salvation; a steady point and the ideal excuse.
Taking a sip, you were shocked at the alluring taste; sweet with just a hint of something savoury, tingling on your tongue and sending pleasant heat all the way down your spine, euphoria exploding behind your eyelids. You didn’t remember closing your eyes but when they fluttered open, you imagined this was what seeing the world in colour for the first time after years of being blind felt.
You took another sip almost instinctively, certain it had to only be the first impression, sweetly warm liquid a blessing for your body; but it tasted just as delicious, striking every chord of your senses just right and beyond.
“Good?”
You refocused your gaze on Andy, his eyes firmly set on you, an almost mischievous twinkle in his irises.
“Like nothing I’ve had in my life,” you said bluntly, earning a chuckle and – was that a hint of a blush on his cheeks as he lowered his gaze a took a sip as well?
“Uhm, thank you. It’s one of my favourite blends I’ve ever made.”
That stunned you.
“You’ve made this? That’s incredible.”
Granting yourself another taste, you then set the cup down almost religiously. Andy watched you do so, a pleased smile in the corner of his mouth, having returned to holding your gaze, expectant.
Right. He had asked you a question before you experienced a little taste of goddamn Eden on your tongue.
You taste like Eden on my tongue, honey.
A shiver ran down your spine, your mind scrambling for the ice-cold memory of the lake, so wistfully distant and yet digging its claws into you all over again.
“And uhm, to answer your question. I just… I was by the edge, slipped and fell right in,” you said, shrugging it off to hide a different kind of shudder, freezing water as if beginning to pool at your feet, slowly swallowing your ankles and creeping up ad up…. “I didn’t-- the ice wasn’t too thick and I just--- it was… I barely made it out.”
You didn’t realize your hands had started to tremble as your voice trailed off, vision blurring slightly, until a warm hand covered it, steading your hold on the cup. The air had grown too thick in your lungs, making it difficult to breathe in; and then it was gone along with the water, with just a few words and a lingering touch.
“I’m glad you did,” Andy whispered, voice as gentle as his touch. “I’m glad you found this house too. That you’re safe.”
I’ll keep you warm.
I’ll keep you safe.
Concern. Care. A ghost of a promise you had trouble grasping, a voice so close to your ear you could almost feel the warm breath on your skin, but you knew that should you turn, you’d only see air. So you didn’t.
And you could not keep looking forward either, not anymore. Unable to bear the sincere weight of Andy’s words, you instead glanced at his hand enveloping yours so easily, so naturally; so right. As if it belonged there and always had.
But it didn’t, did it?
Your hands, you – didn’t seem to belong anywhere. Never had. No one had ever wanted you to stay. No one had ever cared enough.
Not until Andy.
“Well at least someone is…” you muttered absently, swallowing the sardonic chuckle.
And how pathetic was that? Not of him, but of you? A complete stranger, taking you home like a stray nearly-drowned kitten on Christmas Day, because no one else wanted you and he was the only one to give a damn.
Gods, how sorry he had to feel for you? How fucking lame was it of you to have even thought of him such sinful thoughts when all he must have seen was a-
A gentle press to your hand had you squeeze your eyes shut as to keep the tears suddenly gathering at bay.
“Hey now. What do you mean by that? I’m sure there are plenty of people who worry about you, family, friends… a partner,” he added after a brief hesitation and was that not a case on point.
Of course he was hesitant.
Why would there be one? Who would want you as their partner?
You scoffed.
“Sure,” you echoed.
Heavy silence settled over the room, suffocating and itching, only interrupted by your slow wavery breaths. Andy’s hand remained over yours, as motionless as he seemed overall; a scene frozen in time.
Was he judging you? Resisting the urge to laugh at you? Pitying you? Or did he feel nothing at all, so profoundly disinterested now that you slipped so carelessly, opening up?
That was how things always were, weren’t they? Once façades began to crumble, once people started to reveal true colours, they were vulnerable to judgement; and with the mystery cracked like an old toy, the intrigue was lost, along with their interest.
Was that what was happening now? All the kind care, all the sweet words Andy had said, losing meaning because they never held one in the first place?
Swallowing thickly, you looked up, unable to bear not knowing, preferring to tear off the band-aid at once.
A lump grew in your throat as you caught his eye, worry etched into his expression, a soft frown above an even softer gaze. Compassionate. Gentle. And laced with an inexplicably deep understanding.
He might as well be staring into your soul.
And you didn’t know how; but suddenly the dam just burst.
And you told him all, barely pausing to take a breath.
You told him about having been the pariah all your life, about feeling so alone, only finding solace in nature and fables and myths, at never being enough, for your family, for your friends, colleagues and boss… and clearly for every single one of your boyfriends since two of them had simply left and the latest one hadn’t even had the decency to leave before jumping into someone else’s bed.
About being but a side character to your own story, because no one ever believed you could be important enough to be the lead. And perhaps not even you; not anymore.
But the funny thing was that as the words spilled, you didn’t sob once. As if someone had untangled your tongue and the coil of pain in your chest at once, you went through tender, achy points of your life as if you were listing important plot points of someone else’s story, someone you did not even care for, really.
You wept silently, voice hoarse but steady, tears of not pity nor rage but cold comfort streaming down your burning cheeks.
You sipped your tea in between and all you felt was relief; speaking these things to a man who was basically a stranger, a stranger who showed you more kindness than all people you know had in a year and judged you less than all your past company combined,was incredibly liberating.
It felt like letting go. It felt like dropping dead weight you hadn’t realized you had been carrying, just so you could rise to greatness.
And something unreadable in Andy’s unwavering gaze whispered with tender determination that he believed that was exactly what you were meant to do for some reason.
His thumb ran over the back of your hand, having relaxed in his grip, turning it over to caress the sensitive skin of your wrist, sending a pleasant tingle all the way down to your toes.
“You deserve so much better than your family’s poison, little bird. As for those assholes, the last pathetic piece of shit in particular… well, I bet he doesn’t even realize what’s he lost, he’s just that daft.”
Normally, you had tendency to defend Jason when anyone bad mouthed him, the habit sticking for days after he had revealed himself to be a lying cheating bastard; but now, you remained quiet, a corner of your lips even rising up in a genuine smile as Andy’s finger seemed to draw a nonsensical pattern over your skin as if he wasn’t spitting profanities. Your gaze, tears having already dried, lifted to meet his.
You felt warm; so thoroughly warm as if your bones had been never known a day of summer, achy in the constant cold, until now.
Until this strangely charming man whose silence could speak volumes, whose words felt like a balm to your soul; because unlike when spoken by others, his words threaded lace as tenderly as a spiderweb around the wounds in your heart, cradling it with gentleness and a promise of steadiness.
You couldn’t put your finger on it; something about Andy made you want to believe. And to give in; to anything. To give in to something you hadn’t even realized you had buried and was now creeping its way out to the sun, eager to bask in his comfort and praise.
And gods, the quiet powerful outrage in his voice made your heart flutter, your core stirring with heat and whispering that ‘pathetic’ was the last thing that came to Andy’s mind when looking at you. The heat having taken permanent residence deep within you had nothing to do with the warmth of the bath or the tea and everything to do with his ever-present touch, the rich timbre of his voice, his undivided attention.
“And you’re never alone, little bird.”
Gods, he was handsome; almost maddeningly so. He must have chosen secluded life, you thought; attractive people like him had it easy, people agreeing with them left and right, tripping over their feet to be in their social circle and tend to their needs, bask in their light.
And he was quiet, respectful and so incredibly inviting, making you open yourself up and wishing to be seen, because being seen by him meant being appreciated; it was too much to resist.
“I’m sorry I sprang all this on you,” you said, so dully in comparison to the power behind his own words, but as you did, you realized you should be apologizing. In fact, you should be going; it was getting dark and as lovely as Andy’s attention was… burdening him with your past was the least attractive thing to do and the crawl of embarrassment found its way out onto your skin, your hand retreating from his. “I… I don’t know what got into me. I should go; I definitely am overstaying my welcome at this point.”
Andy tilted his head, brows creasing; not in quite in anger, only discontent.
“I told you; that is impossible. We haven’t even finished the tea,” he pointed out, already reaching to pour you another cup. “And I’m glad you got this out of your chest, it feels like you needed that. And I was happy to listen… as much as I feel like someone should teach your asshole ex how to treat a woman as precious as you.”
You gulped at his last words, the flutter in your heart inevitable at his praise, your exhale slow and shaky as Andy’s fingers carefully found your hand again once he finished serving the tea. You hesitated in retreating your hand again, the touch almost electrifying.
You were flattered; so awfully flattered and absurdly needy for this man and his attention which seemed to go way beyond what you could imagine in your wildest dreams.
It would be so easy to be convinced to stay a little longer, perhaps explore what turn the afternoon, evening or even night might take; which was why you had to leave. Because this was not you.
Was it?
Andy’s fingers interlaced with yours, his voice dropping to a murmur. “If I had a woman like you, I’d cherish her every day. I’d treat her like a damn queen.”
You couldn’t explain it; the sensation came as sudden as lightning from clear skies and just as powerful; his words like a tender kiss to your throat, right over your carotid, your eyes fluttering shut, your breath stuck in your lungs.
A hazy image of a living room, a cup with a couple of swallows drawn in thin lines on the coffee table, fading into a blur as the focus shifted on one of the armchairs; you sprawled in it like a queen indeed, one hand laid on the armrest in a fierce grip as your fingers interlaced with those of another, the other hand tangled in his hair.
Bare thighs held apart by Andy’s shoulders wedged in between, a large hand pressing firmly against the flesh of your inner thigh as if burning a brand, his tongue licking deep into your pulsing channel, his beard the most delicious burn against your sensitive folds, his groans and your moans mingling in music of eager lovers, head thrown back with your throat raw from the cries of his name.
“Andy, please-“
The potent jolt of pleasure in your core snapped you back to reality with a gasp on your lips, furious blinks focusing your vision back to Andy’s face; there was a gleam in his eye, but it was his smile, so genuine as he squeezed your fingers reassuringly, so damn gentle and completely unaware of how aroused and wet you were, that had you feel a pang of shame in your gut.
What was wrong with you-
“Like you deserve. You deserve so much better and so much more, little bird.”
You deserve everything.
I will give it to you.
You’re mine to keep and cherish-
“Thank-- thank you,” you stuttered out, head swimming with the echoes of the poignant image, swearing you could feel brands tenderly burned into your skin where Andy had touched you, a tingle in your core as he tasted you so indulgingly, an echo of his beard burning your intimate flesh--- except Andy had not done either of these things outside of your messed-up head.
“Nothing to thank for, little bird,” he said, a lopsided smile adorning his lips even as his brows creased in a soft frown. “We’re missing something here. How would you feel about cookies with your tea?”
Staying for another cup of tea was a terrible, wonderful idea.
Basking in Andy’s presence with his attention focused solely and so unwaveringly on you flushed your cheeks with heat and kept stirring the barely containable explosive attraction to him; but worst of all, it lowered your inhibitions bit by bit, your confidence, as shaky as it was these days, growing under his touch and seemingly genuine interest.
Interest in you.
You had long abandoned the idea of him viewing you as completely pathetic; and with each inch of space between you disappearing, your heartbeat was picking up. With each half-smile, with every question about what you considered the most boring cliché parts of you, you were being pulled into his orbit, intrigued by the lack of sharing information about himself all the more.
“I’m not all that interesting, little bird,” he said when you asked. Instead of an answer, you were gifted another inch of distance erased, his stormy blue eyes boring into yours. “I’d rather hear all about you.”
He was a beautiful puzzle; and the more enigmatic he appeared in comparison to you as you stripped a layer after layer of yourself, the more you craved to figure him out.
And with every entry into his mind kindly denied, you found yourself craving to explore him in the physical world then at least.
To feel the muscles of his arms shift under your palm, to confirm his lips tasted as sweet as the tea he had been drinking with you, to find out just how much of a mark his beard could leave behind when his lips trailed down the column of your throat, over the sensitive skin of your thighs. The need burned within you, causing you to shift in your seat several times already in search for friction, your body almost beyond your control as you turned your still connected hands so your smaller one covered the back of his, most of your willpower focused on not slipping your fingers under the hem of Andy’s sleeve to brush your fingers over his forearm, the very forearm you could almost feel pressing against your throat softly as he pushed you against the wall and drove into you with wild abandon, over and over until your knees could not hold you-
“Give me something, Andy,” you asked, fighting to keep your voice steady as you felt your breathing quickening again with the unholy images painted in your head. “What do you enjoy doing? What is your favourite meal, favourite colour, season even… scent or taste?”
Oh honey, you know my favourite taste.
I’ll have you taste it on my tongue once I’ve had my fill.
A scorching shudder rushed down your spine, your hand automatically reaching for your cup as your throat turned dry for the n-th time in Andy’s presence.
“I enjoy working with herbs,” he admitted after a while, an absent, fond note to his voice. “Essential oils. Natural remedies. Teas and… others--- What?”
For the first time in a while, his words did not provoke a visceral reaction; not the kind that kindled the crackling heat within you. Rather curiosity and admiration, your smile softening without your permission.
“I know you said you’ve made the tea… hell, probably the essential oil for the bath too.” He nodded in confirmation, tilting his head slightly in curiosity. “It’s just… I would have never guessed. You…”
“What is it?”
You chuckled, shaking your head, worried you’d offend him not by your thoughts, but by your clumsiness. But a squeeze on your hand encouraged you gently, having you lick your lips as you gathered your scattered thoughts.
They all seemed so scattered in the past hours, gathering only for all of them to be pulled to Andy and the intense stormy gaze of his.
Storm. Danger and freedom. Freedom to be.
“It’s silly, you just… you seem like the kind of person whose mind is always racing. This… quiet force, keeping to yourself, intelligent, so strictly rational,” you tried to explain, already feeling like you were failing.
“Are you saying I’m a madman for my interests, little bird? A charlatan?”
Something flashed in his eye, but not angry; challenging almost, tantalizing, making your breath hitch.
Try me, honey.
Oh? Look at you, giving up so easy.
Giving yourself up to me.
You shook your head, both to erase the sultry voice in your head and the sinful images it painted and to deny Andy’s words.
“No. I’m saying many people would argue that trusting herbal remedies and nature’s healing power is everything but rational. But-“
“But you are not one of those people, are you?” he finished for you, a slow smile spreading on his lips, just a hint of condescending that seemed to pull you in closer despite your better judgement. “You know better than that, little bird, don’t you?”
Let me, honey.
Let me and I’ll teach you all you need to know.
You gulped, willing your lips curl up in a smile. “I do. That’s why I keep coming back from the city. Nature will always feel like home.”
Andy hummed, a satisfied smirk that felt like a lick straight up your core settling on his lips, causing your free hand to curl in a fist at the sudden blissful assault on your senses--- gods what was happening with you?
“Speaking of power… you called me a quiet force. What did you mean by that?”
Caught off guard in more ways than one, you cursed the slip of his--your tongue.
“Well, I didn’t mean that as a bad thing-”
“Explain it to me then, little bird,” he coaxed, gaze hypnotizing you, seeing so deep you were sure he was becoming aware of the effect he had on you, if he hadn’t known the whole time, that goddamn smirk of his almost wolfish, a taunt you desperately wanted to respond to as your body had been for hours now. “If it’s not bad, what is it?”
It was obvious it had to be the opposite then; but he wanted you to say it. There was no denying the heady tension in the room, setting your skin aflame; there was no denying he was flirting and he was not at all subtle about it anymore and yet, the cold silver of insecurity whispered to you that you should hold back, hold up the last defence before he could destroy you completely.
“Sometimes… there’s power in silence,” you whispered, honestly and yet evasively. “It makes words even more powerful then.”
He considered your words for a moment, gaze flickering down to your lips, your tongue instinctively flicking out to wet the sudden dryness.
“So you’d rather we sit in silence?”
But you make such beautiful noises for me.
Don’t hide from me.
Let me hear it all.
You were going to suffocate.
You were going to suffocate if Andy’s hand didn’t move, didn’t grasp your wrist and pulled you up, his body colliding with yours so your lips could meet and he could drink the answer straight from your mouth just for his other hand to sneak between your bodies to tease and taunt you with his fingers, sliding so easily into your sweatpants, his clothes like a claim on you, more of a claim to have them pool at your feet as his fingers finally breached you-
Your breaths were coming out short despite your efforts to slow them down, your core pulsing as if you had been kept on the edge of bliss for hours, knowing the feeling all too well despite never having had a lover attentive enough to bother with even five minutes.
“Not-- not quite. I like… talking to you.”
“Mmm, me too. Why is that?”
You shrugged with a shaky smile, shifting in your seat and rubbing your thighs together as his voice, that damn voice, Andy’s and the sultry one in your head sounding just like him, felt like a relentless teasing in its own right.
“I--- I like hearing what you have to say. And I… like your voice. It’s warm… gentle.”
And sinful. Powerful.
So powerful you could command me to get on my knees for you and I would, without a single thought, stripped bare if you wished so, lips parted for you and awaiting, dripping down my thighs like I am now, pleading for you to use me, basking in your possessive touch, gentle or rough or both, crying my voice hoarse when begging for more-
The potency behind your own thoughts had you jump to your feet with a loud scrape on a chair that seemed to barely rattle Andy as you slipped from his grasp, his gaze simply following you, the smile remaining on his lips.
“I should go-“
He straightened in his chair, forearms leaning onto the table, his sleeves riding up just an inch, the silver of skin causing your head spin with the urge to touch it, to lead him to lay it over your own throat as you’d walk backwards toward a wall-
“Stay, little bird. It’s already dark and… don’t you want a reprieve from the chaos, from the terrible behaviour of your relatives?” he questioned, both reasons somehow seeming like but an afterthought. “You should stay. I have a guest room if that’s what you’d like.”
But I don’t think you do.
I think you want something else.
All you need is to ask, honey.
Ask and I’ll make sure gods themselves hear your cries when you shatter for me over and over and still beg for more.
“I-“
He reached out for your wrist, long fingers circling it easily and pressing just a little.
The touch rushed through you like a wildfire, whiting out your vision.
A large sculpted body covering yours, lips drinking hungrily and sharing the sweet tangy taste on his tongue as you whimpered, craving more and more and more. One hand circled around your wrist to keep your hand pinned next to your head, his free hand roaming, pinching, squeezing, until it settled on your hip, grabbing firmly to guide you as he thrusted into you, so deeply and fully, his tongue wickedly exploring your mouth and swallowing your every plea to never stop, his name the only thing in your mind and on your lips, your other hand fisting the sheets as you desperately tried to meet his thrusts halfway; to have him reach deeper, to own you, to mark you, to make you his, only you, only him, always.
The pleasure pulsed within you as strong as if you were just there, nearly causing your knees to buckle, your hand barely catching onto the edge of the table.
And all of sudden all you could see was Andy’s face, smirk wiped off to make space for concern as he towered over you, one hand firmly holding yours while the other carefully rested on your hip to support you.
“Are you alright, little bird?”
No. No you weren’t.
You were losing your goddamn mind and he was not helping and you should go whether it was dark or not, because if you didn’t, you’d grab Andy by the hem of his stupidly ordinary shirt that was hiding the most delicious body and you’d kiss him deep, begging him to do to you all the things your mind had conjured in his presence, pleading him to have you however he’d like, to use your body in the most depraved ways he could think of.
“I’m fine,” you choked out, stepping back hastily and on instinct beaten into you – verbally and more than once literally – since childhood, you grabbed your empty cup and walked to the sink, feeling Andy’s worried and bewildered gaze on the back of your head as you started the water.
The worry etched into his gaze just before you escaped his grasp – so genuine and kind – made you wonder just how out of your mind you were.
How much of the flirting you had imagined as an aftermath of hearing a voice so painfully similar to his giving you promises dripping with sin? How much of it had been real? Your own body was your worst enemy, betraying your attraction to the man who hadn’t hesitated to help you, respectful when he had had all the chances to take advantage---
Just how much of his actions had been sincere, nothing but selfless aid to a person in need, that your brain had twisted into a desire of his to mirror your own?
Your hands trembled as you washed the cup, the echoes of pleasure still travelling through your body, now soured with doubt and fear of your own wild imagination.
Andy’s warm presence behind you made your breath hitch, tension building in your back as all your body called for was to drop the damn ceramics and lean back to his front, rubbing like a cat in need of affection, to grasp his hand and lead it to the apex of your thighs and just press to relieve some of the painful throbbing. He reached around you to stop the water as you stood taut like a bowstring about to snap, feeling his breath fan over your cheek, your lips parting to taste it on instinct, eyes falling shut.
Please, you wanted to whisper or scream, not sure what you would beg for. Just please.
“No, little bird… queens don’t do the dishes. Less so when they are guests in my house.”
You gulped as you felt him take the cup from your now motionless hands, setting it down carefully to the sink, the heat radiating off his chest too much to bear.
“I’m… not a queen.”
The words were meant to be filled with humour, self-deprecation even, but you barely spoke at all, throat almost too tight to get the words through.
“I will treat you like one,” he promised, a tempting rumble in his chest, his lips mere inch from your burning skin, his beard scratching it just slightly, sending you spiralling into madness. “If you let me.”
Let me, honey.
Let me break you in ways you didn’t know you always yearned to be broken and then put you back together.
Ler me claim you.
And fuck, you should go.
You really, really should go, but as you opened your eyes, catching a glimpse of your reflection in the window, your eyes wide and cheeks flushed as if you had a fever, his presence the problem and the remedy at once, you couldn’t will your feet to move.
As if trapped in his orbit as he watched you in the reflection too, eyes as dark and burning as coal, his gravity pulled you in; you turned your head towards him, hesitantly meeting his gaze, instantly finding yourself trapped in it.
Scorching heat licked at your core, spreading through your veins like a wildfire when his fingers traced along your jaw, lips hovering so close to yours as if still asking permission and yet, his thumb pressed against the corner of your mouth as if he was the one who couldn’t contain himself. You shuddered violently at the simple touch, your muscles clenching harder as not to fold and lose your last crumbling defences.
Why resist, little bird?
You’re already mine, aren’t you?
Always have been.
“Stay, little bird. Stay and I’ll show you how you deserve to be treated… loved on,” he coaxed, gaze flickering to your lips having pressed in thin line to contain the whimper threatening to spill; his thumb brushed over your lower lip and tugged lightly, leaving no hope for the next needy sound not to escape. Gods, the spark of lust in his eye, the satisfied drop in his voice at seeing your body betray your desire, gravitating towards his. “That’s it. Let me show you how precious you are. How beautiful… how tempting.”
He released your lips from his touch only in favour of skimming his own over your mouth, nothing short of a temptation, as if you weren’t already seduced by the sweet promise alone.
Shock of pleasure rippled through you at the barely-there contact, images flashing though your mind anew, Andy kneeling between your legs as you lied sprawled in the armchair, your body trapped under his so sweetly and torturously as he filled you like no other, his lips devouring you as you laid facing him on the very bed, bandaged hand on your hip, his dextrous fingers sneaking to tease you open for him, his hardness pressing against you, his name a breathless plea falling from your lips.
And as the mirages dispersed, the throbbing need stayed.
“Please,” you heard yourself whisper and for the second time today, the dam broke, letting all you had been keeping for what felt like eternity spill out without control.
The second his lips fully pressed to yours, you were lost and felt finally found.
Explosive desire all but set you aflame as his hand moved to your hip to spin you just so he could corner you against the sink, his other hand grabbing the back of your neck to keep you steady.
And fuck did you need to be kept steady, because his lips didn’t explore carefully; he devoured you right away, your desperate whimper swallowed by his tongue licking into your mouth, your hands having somehow scrambled to grip the fabric of his shirt and fisting it as you pulled him even closer, every inch where his body touched yours a salvation by hellfire; every empty space between you like icy winds.
Coming out for air felt like drowning in the frozen lake all over again, body only warmed by Andy’s lips tracing a burning path down your throat, the zipper of your hoodie tugged down, fabric pushed aside to reveal the painfully stiffened nipples under the thin fabric of the henley, a satisfied groan vibrating against your carotid as Andy cupped your breast a flicked his thumb over the hardened peak.
He might have as well relentlessly played your body for hours, the surge of pleasure causing your hips to meet his in a frantic search for more, your head spinning. You were burning. You were burning and you were cold and you were going to lose your damn mind unless he spun you around, tore your clothes away and filled you up with his cock this very fucking second-
“Andy, please-“
“Please what, little bird?” he chuckled darkly, the scrape of his beard and the huff of air against your throat unfairly spine-tingling.
His hand sneaked under the henley, fingertips brushing over your belly, over your ribs, squeezing your flesh higher and higher, his other hand carding into your hair and not quite tugging, but keeping it in a firm enough grip to prevent you from escaping the assault of his mouth on your throat.
As fucking if you wanted to escape this-
“I need you,” you choked out, feeling the desperate tremble in your body.
Somewhere back in your mind was a small voice wondered how you had never needed a man like this, wanted yes, but not like this; you craved him. For this, for his touch, for his mouth back on yours, for a single point of contact you’d claw your way out of hell.
You released the dead grip you had on his shirt just to slide under the fabric and the pulse in your core at finally truly touching him was nothing short of unholy and you needed more.
“Oh honey. What do you need from me?”
He rocked his hips against yours, his hardness pressing briefly against your mound and you whimpered, your knees nearly buckling.
Yes, yes, yes, again-
“Maybe this?” he suggested huskily as he repeated the motion against your arching body, a cry escaping your lips, feverish words you no longer had a control over spilling as the all-consuming fire licked at your insides.
More, more, more-
“Yes. Please--- touch me, take me-- make me yours- please”
Andy stepped back, your body suddenly feeling freezing cold, his hold on your hair easing so you could face him as he stared straight into your eyes – the perfect picture of desire personified with crimson lips curled in a smirk and irises almost swallowed by how wide his pupils were blown. Absurd fear of him rejecting you now, now after he had given you a taste, filled your lungs like icy waters, reluctantly melting as his broad palm made its way down your front torturously slow, fingers almost absently tangling in the laces of your sweatpants as he stopped just so far from where you needed him the most.
He held you gaze just as you held your breath in anticipation, his fingers sliding under the hem of your sweats, under the waistband of the boxershorts and lower and lower as he spoke, the sight of him hypnotizing like eyes of a predator to a willing prey.
“Oh little bird, that is exactly my intention,” he assured you, barely audible over the roar of blood in your ears, your whole body vibrating with need. Please, please, touch me- “But I’ve been a good host, haven’t I? So I think--- fuck, you’re drenched for me, so fucking needy--- that it’s time for me to feast and taste as much of you as I want.”
You didn’t quite hear him over the whine crawling out of your throat as he dipped his fingertips in your slick only to quickly retreat his hand and leave you so torturously empty again.
But gods, he kissed you and you could breathe again even as it wasn’t enough, his grip on your hip steering you to move, to walk backwards, your vision a blur, all your senses swallowed by Andy; his hot lips and skilled tongue, demanding touch echoing your own, grabbing you, searching almost frantically for places he hadn’t explored yet, mirroring your own greedy hands, your sweatshirt lost somewhere on the way as he steered you to the right, your nostrils full of his scent and the sweet aroma of the tea indeed having lingered on his lips—and suddenly you were stumbling and falling, soft landing in Andy’s arm as he lowered you to one of the armchairs, pulling at your sweatpants and boxers at once, his touch finally back where you craved it more than anything you ever had in your damn life, his name a broken prayer on your lips.
And then his lips were gone from yours, trailing down your neck, a graze of teeth that made you see stars, his thumb circling your sensitive bud and causing your hips to jerk into his hand, a sweet chuckle dripping of sin filling your ears.
“So responsive, little bird, so needy… don’t worry, I’ll give you what you need,” he vowed, your eyes opening half-mast only to witness him retreat and sit back on his heels, his hands planted on your knees, mouth attaching to your inner thigh just above your knee, a poor substitute to the taste of heaven his thumb had offered you.
He was tormenting you; he was tormenting you, denying you what you craved, not only stalling but stalling further, his mouth leaving hot wet trail up your drenched inner thigh, the sensitive flesh burning under the soft scrape of his beard, your legs spreading in mute yet urgent plea. And still, he continued indulgingly slow; your hand twitched as to move and give yourself some relief, but an instinct warned you that it could only prolong your torture.
“Andy-“
He smiled at you from where he had just pressed a bruising kiss to your flesh, eyes dark as the night itself, glimmering in the dancing flames of the fireplace reflecting on the goddamn mug you had spied earlier too, reminding you of how his lips had touched the edge of his cup with indulgence, how he had met your gaze as if he had known, as if he had known already he was about to drink from you.
It was not enough; nothing was enough, and you shifted in his grip, your hips sliding lower on the chair, core pulsing in emptiness.
“Please, please, Andy, don’t keep me waiting, I need you-“
One of his warm palms sprawled over your lower belly, pressing hard to keep you still, his tongue licking a languid stripe up your skin glistening with your juices, and he was so so so close-
“Fuck, honey, you taste so sweet… such a vision, begging for me so prettily.”
You didn’t recognize your voice as you sobbed in frustration of being praised in vain when he didn’t touch you when you NEEDED IT--- and then you were throwing your head back as wave of ecstasy washed over you, Andy finally flicking his tongue over the cut of you.
You grabbed the armrests with such vigour you might worry about breaking it had you not been delirious with want, hips bucking forward and this time, Andy had mercy on you – he groaned at the taste of you, licking with indulgence, twisting his tongue just right, his hold on you easing as the pressure inside you built and built and you were meeting his advances with enthusiasm, your hand finding purchase on his hair, to ground yourself, to beg him to continue without words because you had no voice.
You were tittering on the edge of release, every single cell in your body singing praise to Andy’s name for the waves of bliss almost reaching you, when his hand found yours and tore it from the armrest, fingers interlacing with yours and squeezing.
You would have never thought that could be your undoing, but it was.
Stars exploded in your veins and you tasted stardust on your tongue, a raw cry torn out from your throat, your back arching as white-hot pleasure shot down your spine and curled in your core with the heat of supernova being born.
And it wasn’t stopping. Andy wasn’t stopping, instead he pushed harder against your hips as you writhed against the overwhelming sensations, his tongue curling and breaching you, tasting the very depths of you and your cries were a breathless plea to the gods to have mercy on you and to Andy to give you more and more and more-
His pleased groan resonated in your bones, the force of bliss nearly shattering them to dust for the winds to take; but instead, Andy’s grip on your body moulded them into something torturously beautiful and divine, the sound pulled from your lips nearly unhuman as you fell apart, the world tilting from its axis and balancing on the only steady point of the damn universe, on his hold on you, his tongue gathering proves of your undoing with lustful glee, his thumb drawing circles and swirls over your hipbone in silent approval.
By the time his mouth finally retreated, you were shaking, chest rising and falling in rapid successions, your vision blurry with tears as he rose to his feet and released your hand in favour of cradling your wet cheek, the forefinger of his other hand following the salty path of your tears, painting your swollen lips with them tenderly.
Even with vision unfocused, you were all too aware of the straining fabric of his pants, of the lustful glimmer in his eyes, lips shining with your arousal curling in an almost sweet smile.
“You’re stunning when you fall apart for me, little bird. Even more so than I imagined,” he declared softly, so painfully softly you couldn’t but whimper at the praise, the sound muted as his thumb pressed against your lips much like back in the kitchen, this time pushing its way inside your mouth, gaze zeroing on the eager reaction of your body.
You sucked his finger right in, almost blinding desire bursting in your belly, a carving for just a taste of him, for feeling the weight of him in your mouth as you’d swirl your tongue around him, heady aroma of sex filling your head. You needed. You needed to feel him and your hand acted without your permission, reaching to stroke his hardness, to move to kneel in front of him right there and feel the hard floor against your knees because it wouldn’t matter, it would be fucking privilege to-
Andy’s hand landed on your shoulder, light but firm, his eyes still feasting on you hungrily sucking on his thumb with a heart-stopping smile, tongue sneaking out to lick his lips as you still reached to feel the weight of him in your hand at least, moaning around his finger as the true craving – to have him fill you where it mattered the most – rocked through your entire body.
“So eager, little bird… but not now,” he retreated his hand from your mouth, gently slapping away your hand from him and pulling you to your shaky feet instead, body flush to his, lips on your ear. “You asked me to make you mine and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.”
You weren’t sure how exactly you got upstairs between stumbling on your boneless feet, your greedy hands and all-consuming assaults of his lips on yours; but what you were all too aware of was how whenever his lips detached from your mouth, you were already missing them as if it had been eons, and when he released you from his hold in order to strip his pants and boxers and to rid you of your top, it made your body cry for his attention all the more.
You had but a glimpse of his length and it made your mouth water, your core pulsing in desperate emptiness all the more painful when he sat on the edge of the bed and you could finally take him in your hand, appreciating the smooth warmth length, precum leaking, inviting you to stroke him and sink onto him right away.
“Come to me, little bird,” he husked, tugging at your wrist to have you straddle his thighs, hand like a burning brand landing on your hip, already pushing you down as if you needed encouragement.
His name fell from your lips like a prayer when you felt the head of his thick cock catch at your entrance, hips bucking in foolish need to take him all at once, to have him fill you to the brim.
“Yes, little bird, I’m right here… look at me.”
His broad palm cradled your cheek, sliding along your jaw to grip just a little too tight and force you to meet his hungry gaze even as your own irises must have glazed over when you slowly begun sinking down on him, satisfaction and greed shooting through your veins and curling in your lower belly, your thighs shaking with effort to hold yourself back.
Until you couldn’t.
With a desperate whimper you pushed your hips flush to his despite the slight tinge of pain, the reward of white-hot pleasure all-consuming, Andy’s groan like the sweetest melody and a soothing caress down your back.
Fuck, he was breath-taking and you could die right there and hell you would die if you didn’t move, didn’t feel the deliciously thick length of him drag slowly through your pulsing walls, driving into you again and again, filling you like no other, slow, fast, deep, sloppy, it didn’t matter, you just needed more, you needed to move, bracing on his broad shoulders, nails digging into his bicep, you needed-
He pressed firmly on your hip to keep you still, your cry of despair at being denied swallowed by his mouth, his smile wicked and addictive, only feeding your desire to feel him more, your muscles straining as you fought to rock your hips just a little, needing the smallest friction like your life depended on it.
And Andy wouldn’t let you.
With strength beyond comprehension, he held your middle in a cage, his mouth having never ceased to devour you as his free hand slid from your face, fingers trailing over your collarbone to your breast, fondling all too briefly as you tried to arch into his touch, before he moved on over your belly, pads of fingers circling in the slick dripping down his length, a languid caress where you were connected like a bolt of lightning down your spine urging you to try and thrust forward only to remain achingly still, a whimper pushing past your lips.
It bordered on cruelty; your core pulsed with such force it almost hurt, every cell in your body as if on fire only Andy could quench but instead continued to tease you, groaning into your mouth as he indulged at the sensation of being sheathed in your throbbing warmth.
The relief when his fingers retreated was a punishment all the same, the second his touch disappeared your body crying for it to return. His lips detached from yours just as his palm sprawled over your lower belly, so full of him, his voice a rumbling siren’s song as you felt sweat running down your back from the tension taunting your muscles.
“You feel me, honey? Feel how deep I am?”
He watched you with hooded gaze, predator boasting at catching his prey in a deadly trap she so willingly crawled into, your core spasming at the hunger in his dark eyes hypnotizing yours, half-mad with the animalistic desire.
“Yes-“
With a satisfied hum, his hand retreated again, causing you to whimper because no, that was where you wanted him to touch you, you wanted it everywhere, you needed him to keep owning you—
“Fuck-“ you sobbed as his fingers trailed over your throbbing clit, your walls clenching around his length, your abdomen trembling with effort to fight his grip and chase your release. “Andy, please, I-“
“Oh, but this isn’t just about you, honey, is it?” he scolded you gently, hoarse voice dripping sin and satisfaction as he returned to petting the apex of your thighs, the sensitive flesh gripping him like a vice and it was just not enough. “I wonder how long you could keep still on your own if I asked you, how long until you’d beg me-“
Not a second longer was the answer, more so when he twisted his hand so wickedly that long fingers continued teasing your entrance while his thumb circled your clit, agonizing need rushing through you like an electrical current, your whole body arching and yet staying so painfully still, writhing in his hold, tears of frustration gathering in your eyes.
“Please, please, please, please, Andy, love, please-“
His fingers stilled, ceasing their torture and yet it felt like denying you further until just as your sob pushed past your lips, his hand gently cupped your face, so painfully tender it had your wet eyelashes flutter, a sudden reprieve as Andy’s gaze seemed to trapped you outside of time and space and your own body; it felt like a sip of fresh water on an unbearably hot day, his damp fingers tracing the lines of your face, something flashing in his gaze, something you could not hope to comprehend but felt so achingly soft.
“Gods, you’re a vision, little bird, so beautiful… so thoroughly and undeniably mine, aren’t you?” he whispered, something akin to reverence in his voice as he continued to brush his fingertips over your skin as if committing you to memory.
And then he was kissing you; your breath caught at the unspeakable delicacy of the kiss, even his beard feeling softer as his lips carefully danced against yours, almost meekly, as if you could dissipate into thin air if he pressed too hard. The disparity to his previous advances was staggering, your heart fluttering, tears gathering in your eyes for an entirely different reason. He was just so damn soft.
“Andy…”
His smile against your lips was just as delicate as his kiss, your heart stumbling in your chest when you found him observing you with glassy eyes, his thumb, still carrying the heady aroma of your juices, brushing over your lower lip lovingly.
“I’ll give you everything I have, love… can’t seem to deny you,” he mused, one corner of his lips twitching up, his hand slowly sliding down your body, appreciating every inch of flesh in its path, his touch growing firmer as he went, his lips nearing yours again, his deadgrip on your hips releasing at last, speaking his next words directly to your mouth and angling the world from its axis all over again. “Take what you need, little bird.”
The words cut through you like a bolt of lightning, burning through every fibre of your being at once, the violent desire having been building through the past hours slamming into you at once, twice as hard, impossible to contain.
A breathless scream tore from your throat.
You cried out Andy’s name, your body acting on an animalistic instinct of chasing pleasure now that it finally could, nails digging into his shoulders for support as you rocked your hips against his with wild abandon, head thrown back in ecstasy every drag of his length through your tight walls sparked anew, coil rapidly tightening and undoing in your belly as it wasn’t nearly enough, never enough, more, more, more-
“Fuck--- that’s it, honey, keep going-” he groaned, hand stroking your back slick with sweat, his other hand gripping your ass cheek to guide your movements just the tinniest bit to your mutual pleasure.
And you listened, chasing an unreachable peak, grasping at Andy’s neck, moving closer to his still maddeningly clothed torso, bouncing up and down, grinding your pelvis against his and it was not enough, not with your hands so firmly planted on his shoulders when your thighs alone quivered with exertion, a rare catch of his shirt against your clit nearly making you see stars and pushing them away from your reach all the same, fingers fisting his shirt in breathy outrage.
“Andy, please-“
“I’ve got you, honey.”
Next thing you knew your head was spinning, your body achingly cold as you were tossed on the bed on your back, Andy’s touch gone; and then he was hovering above you, his warm body completely bare at last, stretching over yours as he sheeted himself in your heat in one single thrust, stretching you to your limit again and feeling like heaven and hell combined.
His mouth captured your needy whimper when he once again remained all too still, one of your hands, having started to explore the god-like body of his, grasped at the wrist and pinned next to your head in an exhilarating display of control, leaving an ounce of it for you too as you jerked your hips against his, over and over, unable and not wanting to stop for even a moment, because you could feel it at your fingertips, the taste of pleasure unparalleled awaiting you when you’d come around his cock and felt him spill inside you.
The thought alone had you writhe under the soothing and yet frustrating weight of Andy’s body, his kiss tinged with amusement before he released your lips, setting them free to chant his name.
“Patience, little bird. I told you I’ve got you.”
And by gods, he did. He did, pinning you to the mattress and driving into your tight channel over and over at almost punishing pace, his hand sneaking between your bodies to swipe up the juices smeared all over your and his thighs and toy with your swollen bundle of nerves, blinding pleasure lighting you alive.
“Yes-“
“You feel like fucking heaven, honey. Will never have enough--- come for me. Give it to me, show me you’re mine-“
Falling apart felt like scorching heat consuming your body, burning every single cell in its wake, a shuddering breath of Andy’s name like a prayer rising from the ashes back to life, his spent filling you to the brim just as you were being reborn.
And so was your need.
You had never felt anything like it, the crushed seeds of logic in your mindless haze whispering of how this shouldn’t be possible, how you should be beyond sated but with every taste, with every peak, each more powerful than the other, your thirst was not quenched but rekindled, your limp body craving more, more, more; more of this, more of Andy, more of anything and you would die unless you’d get it.
You could barely focus your gaze on Andy’s face hovering above yours, a bliss having flushed his cheeks pink and his eyes with tantalizing glimmer, his fingers tender as he pushed your damp hair from your face.
“Please…” you rasped, not recognizing your voice anymore, blood rushing past your ears wildly. “More.”
His smile was soft, a gentle press of his lips to your forehead and the slightest rock of his hips against yours pulling a desperate keen from your parched lips.
“Do you want to be truly mine, little bird?” he asked, his voice grave and raspy as his breath fanned over your face.
“Yes!”
“Truly? Bound to me?” he continued, the words not carrying any meaning, his voice, gods, his voice, like a caress over your inner thigh, like a touch of bliss somewhere deep within you, in your very soul, a promise of endless pleasure. “You’ll be mine, mine to love and keep and protect… and I’ll be yours…”
Anything. Anything, just more, more-
“Yes- Andy, please.”
A peck to your lips, then another to your cheek and one to the corner of your mouth; each sparking a flame licking at your womb, causing your muscles to spasm, your hands, now free of his hold, grasping at him, nails dragging down his back, urging him to move inside you, your hips buckling pathetically as all your energy had been burned out while your need pulsed with life within you all the more.
Please, just-
“Bless you, little bird, I waited for you so long and did not even know… tell me you want me.”
“I want you-“ you sobbed, vainly pulling yourself up to be flush against his body.
“Need me-“
“Need you. Only you- please.”
“As you wish, little bird.”
All of sudden, a flash of ice-cold clarity cut through your haze, an agonizing stutter of your heart in your ribcage.
The low lights of the bedroom reflected on the blade which seemed to materialize in Andy’s hand out of thin air, a gleam of determination in your lover’s eye.
Wincing helplessly under his heavy weight, you squeezed your eyes shut, your life – a good life, not bad at all –flashed before your eyes, a muffled cry of confused want and utter terror escaping your lips as you tried to make yourself as small as possible.
You could feel him shift above you, inside you, the smallest motions sending almost nauseating desire through your body still, tears of overwhelm gathering in your eyes and spilling over as your heart fought for every last beat you’d be given in this life.
You were going to die.
It was the most absurd thought flying through your head, a painful chuckle almost tearing through your lips; you were about to die, mad with arousal for you own murderer and should anyone ever learn, you were going to turn into inspiration for a cautionary tale for the very books you had been reading since you were a child. Or perhaps those on serial killers.
You didn’t want to die!
“N-no, please, please, Andy-“
It was pathetic. Voice hoarse from having pleaded him to fuck you, for more and more and more; it was almost a foreign voice and yet undeniably yours, somehow still laced with devastating desire not to live, but to be ruined by his cock over and over, still thrumming deep within you.
A low grunt and a hiss; droplets of thick warm liquid landing on your forearm, coppery smell tickling your nostrils.
You couldn’t help it; you always had been morbidly curios, hadn’t you?
With a shuddering inhale, you cautiously blinked your eyes open, heart once more skipping a painful beat, your hand twitching to cover your mouth.
Features twisted in mere discomfort, Andy glanced from his right palm – from the crude deep cut on his own palm – to your face, grimacing as if only now his pain registered, eyes wide with something other than lust and satisfaction for once.
Compassion?
“Don’t worry, little bird. I’ll be gentle and I promise it will hurt for but a second,” he rasped, your body turning rigid with horror. “Stay still for me, love.”
And you did.
Mutely, with but shaky breaths on your part and his, his grasp on your left wrist was shockingly tender as he laid your hand on the sheets, staining your skin with crimson, his blood seeping into the fabric below. His gaze held yours just as gently, something apologetic and warm in the thin ring of blue around his blown pupils.
You inhaled sharply at the sting of pain, a whimper of Andy’s name pushing past your trembling lips and then it was gone. From the corner of your eye, you could see the blade, having appeared so suddenly, disappear just as fast.
Andy’s thumb stroked the heel of your palm, his lips curling softly in a smile, the hand which had held the blade moving to cradle your cheek.
“Are you ready, little bird?”
As the fear slowly dissipated, you left the forgotten hunger for his body creep in slowly, blooming from your core through your belly, your chest, through your limbs all the way to your fingertips and toes, warming every single muscle, every nerve ending, tingling in your lips, growing and growing with every rapid beat of your heart, a shudder rushing up your spine at the gentle onslaught of want.
A single beat of your heart, two, three, four- and then it slammed into you with force of a star being born in midst of chaos, back arching, muscles straining with instinct to continue chasing the carnal pleasure, hips thrusting up as you felt Andy stiffen inside you again with a breathy chuckle.
“Yeah, you’re ready, love,” he hummed, lips slanting over yours, stealing your breath, every minute roll of his hips sending a shock of ecstasy through your system bordering on pain he drank straight from your mouth.
His hold crept from your wrist to your hand, fingers interlacing, palm sticky with blood pressing against your own wound.
You wailed.
The guttural sound rippled through you just as you hit another peak, Andy’s thrusts stuttering with a curse on his lips as your walls gripped him in a vice, your whole body spasming with paralyzing waves of euphoria, tears springing from your eyes.
Your body floated. You’d swear, had you had any control over your lips, that your soul ascended to another plane of existence. Nothing held you chained to earth anymore. You felt free and weightless and full of light, all-consuming but so so warm and soothing you felt a sob tearing from your chest, a distant sensation of your lover – your lover, your love, your everything – spilling inside you, his lips pressed to your throat, his weight on you, his gentle hold on your hand the only things grounding you and wrapping you in an overwhelming feeling of safety.
Your name, softly spoken; whispers of little bird, tender pets to your hair.
Growing aware of your body trembling in aftershocks, whatever unbearable pressure you distantly remembered crushing you finally released you from its clutches. You opened your heavy eyelids, a blurry image of a stunningly handsome man, Andy, all you could see; and you were at peace with that.
He still held your hand firmly in his, leaning over you, worried gaze roaming your features as you felt your chest heaving with slow ragged breaths.
“Andy…”
“I know, little bird… it was almost too much, wasn’t it,” he whispered, your heavy eyelids slipping shut again, a tender kiss landing on them.
“Mmm… ‘most,” you echoed, exhaustion settling in every fibre of your being now that feeling of deep contentment washed over your body, cleansing you of the insatiable hunger.
“That’s my pretty little bird.”
A brief peck to your forehead was the only warning you got before Andy’s warmth slowly lifted from you, oh so carefully sliding out of you, a vague sensation of your nose scrunching in discontent reaching your brain. He squeezed you fingers too, you thought, but his voice sounded as if from miles away.
“I’ll be right back, honey.”
His retreating steps were the last sound you heard before sleep took you into its merciful arms at last.
You didn’t feel the careful touch of a warm cloth washing away the proves of intense love-making from your most intimate flesh, nor the kiss to your hipbone. You didn’t feel another cloth wiping away the blood from your hand, couldn’t see Andy’s pained frown at the shallow cut on your palm, nor you could hear the hoarse whisper as he traced his fingertips over your wound, erasing it without trace, a weak smile passing his lips.
No one but him could see him even as he felt thousands of judging eyes on him when he walked back to the bathroom, washing the blood off of his hands and tearing away a strip of clean cloth to wrap around his own palm, tightening it more than necessary with every tug, the throbbing pain only justified; a fraction of punishment that should be inflicted on him, a lump growing in his throat as he dreaded and couldn’t wait to walk back and lay on his bed, sharing it with someone after endless years of solitude.
Leaning his hands on the sink with a shaky exhale, he hung his head low even as something so light and beautiful thundered in his ribcage, fingers flexing, the fresh wave of pain pushing him to look up. The face starring at him from the mirror was one of a selfish monster; a selfish monster craving love just like any other being with hot blood pulsing through its veins.
He just wanted to love and be loved. Was that really so wrong of him?
It didn’t matter anymore; he’d made his choice and made yours as well.
Stepping back into the bedroom, he found you sound asleep, somehow having turned to your side, facing the door as if you eagerly awaited his return and the dreams took you too early. The frown on Andy’s face softened, something sweet humming in his heart, the lump in his throat releasing just a bit at how peaceful you appeared.
Circling the bed, he stretched alongside your body, propping on his elbow to feat his eyes on you.
You glowed with wild beauty, hair a soft tangled mess around your head, skin still flushed, kiss-swollen lips parted, bare skin of your tempting body enticing him to touch.
My little bird.
I’ll keep you safe.
I’ll keep you warm.
You deserve everything and I will give it to you.
You are mine to love and cherish and protect.
With a sigh releasing the immense pressure in his ribcage, he brushed his lips over his fingertips before bringing his forefinger to the side of your neck. Drawing tender lines, his touch trailed to your nape, down your neck, over your shoulder blade and shoulder, a swirl of ink left in its wake reaching gently over your collarbone almost to your breastbone. Curls as delicate as your soul, thin petals of wild flowers and trees; and surrounded by the beauty of nature, a little swallow.
Content with his handwork, pressing a soft kiss to your nape, Andy laid himself behind you, arm wrapping around your waist to pull you flush to his chest, your soft warm body moulding into his perfectly as if it was always meant to be.
He draped covers over you both to keep you warm as he had promised.
Slowly pulled into consciousness by fingers carding through your hair as gently as if threading through dreams, you felt your lips curl in a brief smile, the sensation of a warm firm body wrapped about you protectively rousing you from your sleep with finality.
Just as slowly, the events of yesterday came back to your memory like an echo, echo of freezing-cold water, all-consuming need and overwhelming relief found in Andy’s arms, in Andy’s bed.
That was where you were, feeling just as relieved; just as light even as sleep still weighted your body, delaying your movements and making them sloppy, your hand landing ungracefully on Andy’s chest, his quiet chuckle causing you to purse your lips and finally will your eyes to open.
The first sunrays were peeking through the bedroom window, casting light to the warm space, illuminating Andy’s form from behind and giving his tousled hair almost supernatural glow; and yet it was nothing compared to the soft glow in his eyes as he watched his fingers toy with your hair, as his gaze met yours, dreamy, with a tinge of concern.
“Good morning,” he husked, voice warm and gentle like a cup of coffee on a cold winter afternoon.
“Gd mornin’,’” you muttered in response, causing a brief smile pass his lips, before his brows drew together, his dark blues roaming all over your face, his fingers trailing down your cheek.
It was a little unnerving, the attention, your awareness of just how much of a mess your appearance had to be after a long wild night spent tangled in the sheets insistent in your mind; and the fact you were still completely naked save for the duvet Andy must have covered you with did not help your case.
He did not seem to mind.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like a changed woman,” you replied without as much as a thought, only to be surprised how true the words were.
You did feel different; transformed, for the lack of a better word. A huge weight you hadn’t been aware you had been carrying seemed lifted, aches and worries in your heart and mind soothed, the only ache remaining being a pleasant reminder of last night. One brief flash of fear; a memory of a blade and blood, yours and Andy’s – but where you could see a cloth wrapped unceremoniously around his hand, you realized you could flex both of your hands without as much as discomfort.
Before you could ask – why your hand carried no mark while Andy’s carried a potentially still bleeding mark of something you did not understand and yet seemed to understand better than yourself – he spoke, hesitance lacing his voice.
“Well… you are. You are mine,” he whispered.
The thought sent a surge of warmth through your chest, a smile unwittingly spreading on your lips. Feasting your eyes on the man who had indeed made you yours quite thoroughly, his unfairly handsome features made you almost oblivious to how quiet and shy he sounded; and how fast his heart thundered under your palm.
“You’re bound to me now, little bird, as I am to you. Forever.”
Forever mine.
Forever yours.
You blinked, unsure what he meant and yet; the sincerity and gravity of his words left no doubt that he was sharing a profound truth. A quiet, powerful presence of an ancient entity not to fear but certainly respect hummed in the depths of your ribcage.
In your silence, Andy moved his hand so the pads of his fingers now lad tenderly over your collarbone, instinctively drawing your gaze, air catching in your throat in awe.
Dark indigo-like ink adorned your skin, stretching from the curve of your shoulder as far as you could see over your collarbone and cleavage, a breathtaking piece or art; a love letter to nature etched onto your body in simple precise lines without shading. You heart raced in your chest as you reached out cautiously, fearing the tattoo you did not remember getting might disappear.
It did not; but images filled your mind, images of your bare body standing in Andy’s bathroom, your back to the mirror, glancing over your shoulder and marvelling at the intricate pattern, delicate leaves and swirls as if protecting a small bird; a swallow.
The astonishment stayed within you as your gaze refocused on the inked skin of your chest, your mind a whirlwind of confusion. You would say with certainty you had never stood in the bathroom like that nor admired the tattoo; and yet, you were absolutely sure, somehow, that this was what your back now looked like, this was what you would see if you walked to the mirror and made the image true.
Your stomach fluttered, a tingle of caution; and still, no matter how much you tried to make sense of why, you were not scared. Curious, rather; fascinated even.
Glancing up at Andy, you found him watching you closely, his eyes brimming with careful hope and expectation of a blow to his face at once.
“How?” you breathed out, his unhappy grimace deepening.
The sight twisted your heart.
You were lost; and yet it seemed he was the one needing guidance and support and all you yearned for was to give him exactly that.
As you placed your hand on his cheek, already missing the sensation of his heartbeat, his eyes fluttered shut, a shaky inhale rattling his ribcage. He nuzzled into your touch, a soft scratch of his beard against your palm. His hand slid to your waist, fingers flexing briefly as he met your gaze, his eyes a storm of emotion.
“A bonding like that… requires three elements of a body; saliva, seed and blood. Once exchanged, along with your consent and with the drop of potion in your tea… we belong together now, little bird. And… there’s no force on the earth that could tear us apart.”
Your pulse skyrocketed at the gravity of his words.
It sounded terrifying; it sounded definitive.
It sounded wicked.
And it sounded right.
It should scare you, a low voice whispered in the back of your mind, but it was drowned in the melody of your heart finally finding peace.
Forever. No force on Earth that could tear us apart.
The echo of the voice having been with you ever since you fell through the ice and nearly drowned washed over you sweetly; if felt like coming back to a safe harbour after years and years spent on a raging sea.
You didn’t understand technicalities; you did not understand at all. But you understood how the fact this was right was everything that mattered.
That and the fact Andy was watching you now, perhaps even more overwhelmed than you, awaiting your reaction to the confession because that was what this was. A confession. No matter what his words would have said, the weight of his transgression was written in his cerulean eyes.
And your heart ached and called for his.
Sliding your hand to his nape, you shifted closer, slow enough to see his eyes widen and lit up with hope before you brushed your lips over his, a pained sound in the back of his throat almost making you stop; until his fingers flexed in the flesh of your waist and gripped, pulling you flush to his chest, free hand sliding under your cheek to angle your head and deepen the kiss, your lips parting in invitation and a plea.
Like a spark of life to your body; like a drop of the most precious of wines on your tongue. Exhilarating. Addicting.
“Oh little bird…”
The soft cautious voice turned warmer, lighter and heavier with desire all the same as both his and your hands began to roam, every touch like sunbeams shining from within your bones, your body arching against him in instinctive search for bliss.
“What if they come looking for me?”
Andy smiled as you blurted the question s, licking into your mouth instead of an answer and making you keen, the hold on your hips encouraging you to meet the roll of his own.
“They’ll never find you, love. This house does not exist in the earthly realm, not for most of the year… don’t worry, little bird.”
That piece of information should worry you, yet you could not bring yourself to care enough; instead, the tingle in the back of your mind whispered of earthly plane and other realms, of forces beyond comprehension, tales remembered from childhood of unhuman entities coaxing people into their grasp with a promise of what their heart craved.
Feeling the thunderous heartbeat under your palm, the warmth and firmness of Andy’s body, there was no denying how wonderfully alive and human he was; and yet, words of potions and bonds and forevers were telling a different tale.
“What are you, Andy?”
Another smile, mischievous as his touch trailed down your chest over your belly, along your hipbone, grasping the back of your thigh to lift it so he could slot one of his muscular legs between yours, the delicious friction against your rapidly dampening core causing your thoughts to scatter.
“Does it matter?” he whispered to your ear, teeth nibbling under your earlobe, drawing a whimper from your lips.
No. No, it did not. The one thing he was was devious, his lips chaining one kiss after another along your throat, your head thrown back as your nails dug into his back.
“I’ve had many different names, little bird. The only one that will ever matter to me is the one falling from your lips as shatter for me again.”
The image was almost palpable, Andy’s soft hair in your fingers as he lifted you towards the stars and yet; another question, much more urgent, cold fingers of doubt creeping along your spine, threatened to put the flames of bliss igniting in your body out at once.
Forever was a long, long time, no matter how much of a hyperbole Andy could have used.
And in your experience, men did not love for even half of it or less and chose their forever with much more care than he had.
“Why me?”
Andy’s body turned rigid for a moment, safe for his head snapping up to search your gaze, the wheels in his head turning as he tried to decipher your tone.
You willed yourself to hold his serious gaze even as your heart raced, worried you had overstepped; worried you might get what you bargained for. Heartbreak.
Whatever Andy found in your gaze – be it pride or desperation – it drew a sigh from his lips, his touch retreating from your intimate flesh in favour of grasping your hand and linking his fingers with yours.
“The moment you fell into water… I knew you were mine and always had been,” he said slowly.
Your breath hitched, threading uncertain waters again, in more ways than one.
The moment you fell into water… he knew. Whatever that meant. The moment you fell-
The moment you heard him for the first time. The voice, even as it had been veiled with mystery at first, the voice you later recognized as his own pleading for you to fight. The very moment…
“I… I think I heard your voice,” you whispered, certain you’d find laughter in his eyes, because what you were saying was absurd, a figment of imagination of an extremely stressed mind, but there was no trace of it. Not at all.
Warmth, yes. Humour? Not in the slightest.
“Yes, that’s possible.”
“But… how? Why?”
Sighing again with a gentle squeeze to your fingers, he let his other hand wander, soft pads of his fingers brushing over your skin, following the lines of your tattoo with his touch and sight alike, speaking lowly, almost absently.
“Time is an illusion, little bird. An elaborate one, but only an illusion. On Christmas Day, the veil surrounding it is the thinnest – that is why people who come to the blessed lake on Christmas Day and cut though the ice do glimpse their future. Those who fall in… they literally soak their body in the ability.”
“Ability…?” you echoed weakly, your breaths coming out shorter as intangible weight settled in your chest. “Ability to… glimpse into the future? No, that’s not--- not-”
Flashes. Images of you looking over your shoulder, a precise picture of a tattoo you had yet to see, Andy kneeling between your legs as you laid sprawled in the armchair, his body draped over yours, hand pinned next to your head, his bandaged hand on your hip as his lips devoured you on this very bed-
“Little bird?”
You opened your mouth, no sound coming out, your head spinning as the images replayed in your head, over and over, hazy and yet sharp, details you could have not imagined, not truly. “I-- yesterday, I saw these… flashes, I was sure they were-”
You gulped, cheek flushing with heat at the admission, your gaze fixed on Andy’s chest, unable to meet his eye until his fingers slid under your chin, tipping your head back just a bit, his gaze intrigued – and serious.
“…fantasies.”
A little smirk passed over his lips, a flicker of mischief that soon gave way to something softer and graver. “But they weren’t, were they?”
You shook your head, even as the glaring truth was only now dawning to you.
“I saw this too. I think? Maybe. Your injured hand… and I think I saw-- I have a swallow on my back, don’t I?”
His eyes widened, a speckle of pride in his gaze as he slowly nodded.
“Yes. I’m sorry, little bird, I know it’s difficult. From what I know it is hard to make sense of these images. Those who bath in the lake at the sacred time…” he trailed off, a frown twisting his gentle expression, another sigh leaving his lips. “If they survive, they are bound to fall into madness, the strain on their mind too great.”
Your heart stopped.
It must have, because the sudden stab of ice-cold fear tore straight through it, blood crystalizing in your veins.
You couldn’t breathe. A few words and the icy waters of the lake surrounded you all over again, filling your lungs with thousands of needles, the glassy shards all around you pulling you under, pulling you down, down, down-
“But--- but does that-“
And just as fast, a warm firm grip pulled you back up, a protective cage of hands cradling your face, gentle and steady, your vision reducing to pair of fiery blue eyes.
“No. No, because you are mine. We are far from the earthly realm and you are bound to me the most potent way there is. And if, if that’s not enough, I will find a way to protect you even if it’s the last thing I ever do.”
I’ll keep you safe.
I’ll keep you.
I’d never hurt you.
You’ll be mine, mine to love and keep and protect and I’ll be yours.
Your heart was soared, tears gathering in your eyes at the warmth radiating from Andy’s palms alone. There was no space for doubt left whatsoever. His blazing determination would scorch the entirety of the earthly realm he had spoken of and leave nothing but ashes if it meant keeping you safe.
And that, that was exactly what made no sense; because you had not encountered a single human being in your whole damn life that would feel a fraction of the affection Andy seemed to harbour for you in less than a day. Nothing was as real as his hands on you, as the sweet ache in your body from yesterday, and yet this, this could not be real.
“Why? Why of all people, why would you choose-”
“I told you,” Andy said, just as passionately, pleading for you to understand. “You fell and I knew better than anything that you were mine and always had been.”
You didn’t understand. But perhaps you did. Or you would.
Perhaps that was what he meant when he said time was an illusion; right now, you did not know, but you would and that was all that mattered, because you might as well know already.
Your head spun, pressure building behind your eyes and yet you could not tear your gaze away from the soft storm in Andy’s eyes.
Let me, honey.
Let me and I’ll teach you all you need to know.
“So what… it was fate?” you muttered, the words, yet again, absurd to your own ears.
Andy smirked, the expression so out of place and so perfectly fitting to his handsome face your stomach made a little somersault. Releasing you from his grip, he simply continued to cradle your cheek as his other hand began to toy with your hair, his smile softening as you felt yourself relax at the tender yet playful action.
“Fate is a series of deliberate choices, little bird,” he said, letting the strand of your hair fall only to wrap another one round his finger. “I… I made my choices, some of which I am not proud of, and you made yours. You chose to come back to your hometown. Chose to escape the family gathering. Chose to walk to the lake and try your luck looking at the water surface with shy hope – because years ago, when you were still a child, you chose to read a particular book of legends.”
With every word, your heart was picking up again, hammering in your ribcage, your mind latching onto pieces of information Andy could have guessed but spoke with unshakable certainty.
But then, the look in his eye was painfully tender you shuddered at being at the receiving end, thoughts scattering again, reducing themselves to one single thought.
No one. No one had ever looked at you like that.
“Much like you chose to help out a little bird back to its nest when only a child yourself. Chose to release a spirit of a baby swallow mere days after, perhaps even unwittingly calling luck upon yourself that would once find its way to you.”
“How- how do you-”
“I told you. I knew when you fell. Because I got to glimpse beyond the veils of time too,” he explained gently, letting silence stretch, allowing you to process the information that was nothing short of absolutely overwhelming. Mind-blowing.
He had seen; he had seen parts of your life no one even knew about, moments you barely remembered. He knew about a small, meaningless act of kindness years and years ago, he knew-
The sudden realization stuck you like a lightning, a choked sound born in the back of your throat, a breathy whisper.
“Little bird…”
“Yes,” Andy confirmed, just as quiet, gaze glimmering with affection as his fingers moved from caressing your hair to your shoulder, reaching behind you, blindly following lines of a tattoo you knew were there and now knew why. A small swallow amongst the leaves and swirls. “And that’s your why. All these images of your life, past, presence, even future, flashing before my eyes. They showed me all of you. Who you were, how good, how sweet, an innocent soul with faith in forces of nature and beyond… you were perfect. You are perfect, little bird. And I couldn’t let you-- not when I knew what might happen if I--- I knew you were to be mine and I wanted to be yours. I steered you, just a little and I knew it was wrong of me to meddle with your life and I knew I should have let you go… but even when I did, your steps lead to me still and then you were here, and I-”
Your fingers silenced his laments, confession and declaration all at once, a simple touch to his lips working like a charm, his eyes falling shut.
Your heart was beating so vigorously you were sure it would beat its way out of your chest.
There was so much to process, so much to feel, so much to understand and thread through; but at last, you understood two things.
One: this truly was meant to be, be it fate or series of choice or divine intervention.
Two: he needed to stop.
“You saved me.”
Andy shook his head, taking your hand into his and holding it to his chest, lips barely moving as he whispered.
“No and it’s not that simple. My voice and enchantment might have helped, but you saved yourself. And since the moment you did, since you came in, I’ve done things, wicked things to have you-“
You recalled the scorching need for him, the bath, the tea, his touch eliciting visions, little puzzle pieces falling into place, even as the image remained all too incomplete; the puzzle of him, a simple man with something extraordinary throbbing in his soul, a lonely man craving love beyond what you could possibly imagine, tortured way beyond what he had brought upon you yesterday and had soothed all the same and you couldn’t.
You couldn’t but forgive whichever transgressions he had committed if he was beating himself over them and his original intentions were threaded by something soft and pure.
It was your turn to cradle his cheek and wordlessly ask him to look at you and trust you.
Obeying, Andy hung onto your lips, two two pools of cerulean sadness awaiting judgement and asking forgiveness all the same, almost absurdly so, because you had a feeling that should he want to, he could have made you mad for him all over again, a drop of a potion, a flick of a hand, and you’d have no choice but to succumb to him.
But he didn’t.
It only solidified your decision.
“No, Andy. You saved me… your very own little bird,” you added with a smile tugging at your lips. “And maybe calling a little luck upon yourself in the process, I suppose. I—whatever you have done… it only sped up what I would have felt for you either way. And… if I was meant to be yours, if I am yours… then you were meant to be mine.”
A shaky inhale. You had never imagined a man of his built would spoke in such small vulnerable voice, but he did. A single word, tinged with careful hope:
“Yeah?”
“Oh Andy…”
Actions speaking louder than words, you pulled him for a kiss, soft, slow and deep, the softened flame of your desire flaring up again, this time with no doubts or unspoken questions.
His lips tore away from yours with an urgent plea.
“Show me, love.”
“Was trying to,“ you muttered, confused and a little hurt, only for Andy to shake his head and bring your hand to his lips, a tender kiss to your fingertips sending a tingle of electricity rushing through your body all the way to your toes. “Andy, what-”
“Think of us… of a pattern, a mark… much like your tattoo. If I am yours… where would I carry your mark?” he whispered, the fervour in his voice making your heart stutter in your chest.
Oh Andy.
You did not need to think for long; there was only one choice, truly.
As he squeezed your hand, enticing you to touch him as if that was enough to make the pattern appear, his gaze eagerly followed your movements as you carefully brushed over his sternum.
With a breathless chuckle on your lips, you watched the ink of a familiar colour – the colour of your eyes, you realized, only slightly darker, much like your own tattoo mirrored a darker shade of Andy’s eyes – draw a line of the pattern on your mind, perfectly matching your own. Over his collarbone; over the mass of his shoulder; over his shoulder blade.
As you retreated your hand, content with your handiwork, you caught Andy’s soft, so achingly soft gaze, zeroed on your awed smile.
Whatever he was – whatever he was beyond yours – he carried something good and beautiful in his very core.
“Thank you, love.”
A gentle kiss to your fingertips, another little jolt of energy; as he placed your palm over his rapidly beating heart, no ink spilled anymore. Before you could marvel at that, he captured your lips with his, a brief kiss before he sighed with emotion so profound you felt your eyes prickling with tears again.
“I think you saved me, little bird. And I will spend forever by repaying you.”
You didn’t know how long forever was. You didn’t know what awaited you, even as you soon might get a glimpse of it, but one thing you knew for sure.
“There’s no rush, love… we have all the time in the world.”
And in the earthly realm, just as Andy said, as soon as the clock struck midnight on a Christmas Day, the house disappeared from view; along with the woman, once a superstitious kid, carrying her to a happier realm she may never, ever leave.
And with the house was long gone, invisible and untouchable to mere human senses, the only trace of her left was but small droplets of blood on the white bark of a birch tree; giving birth to unearthly crimson blossoms as soon as the first spring sunrays caressed it with its warmth, the ices of the lake melting.
Complete masterlist
Andy Barber and misc masterlist
Phew... You did it! You finished reading!
If you find some time and energy, please, let me know if you enjoyed 🥺 Honest. This is one of my rare soft dark babies and I'm nervous as hell posting this and I obviously spent a lot of time on this one, so... hoe with me? 🥹
Thank you for reading either way 💕
BTW, the book referenced in the story is very much real and used to be one of my favourites as a teen. It’s Kytice by K.J.Erben (translated as A Bouquet of Czech Folktales, I cannot tell if it's a good translation as I haven't got my hands on it; or biligual version simply called Kytice).
P.S. everything is a oneshot if you post it in one go 😌🤭
#r#reactions#walking back into m own myth#so so grateful#no seriously SO GRATEFUL#BE STILL MY FOOLISH HEART
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Hi, how did you learn to draw Steve's physique?
Ohh what a complicated thing to answer...
When it comes to how I learned to draw anything, it's hard to say anything too specific since it's always a culmination of many years of assorted study and practice... but I can try to do my best to explain some of the biggest things that helped me learn, some tips I keep in mind, and maybe at least some places to start/delve further.
(just a little disclaimer it's not like my drawings here are going to be 100% medically accurate.. they're just to illustrate concepts!)
The main thing about learning various physiques is understanding anatomy. Which feels obvious, but I don't mean proportions; these are important, but perhaps more important is understanding the skeleton and how it moves and learning where muscles connect to bones and where fat grows on the body. When you understand how these function on a more mechanical level, depicting form and movement in a way that feels natural comes in tow.
For instance, understanding things like the pronation and supination of the radius and ulna, as well as the fact that muscles can ONLY contract or relax, will help you understand a bit better which muscles will be flexed and which will not while someone moves. It's inherent to the positioning based on the structural makeup of the body... It's not like you NEED to memorize all the muscles and bones, of course, but understanding and gaining at least a passive familiarity with the concepts really helps.
In tandem with this concept is the way parts of the body flow into eachother. Muscles ALWAYS come in groups because they can only contract. Whatever muscle is there to lift something, there is a muscle on the other side to pull that bone back down. What this results in is a series of straight edges next to curves, which gives us a lot of really lovely "s curves" and dents and folds and so on and so forth just naturally occurring.
I would suggest at least learning the "bony landmarks", which are bones (usually) visible on the surface of the body. things like the iliac crest, the great trochanter, the 7th vertabrae, the acromion process... These can be used to help you understand the parts of the body as angles and relationships, rather than trying to remember lengths and sizes, which vary immensely... (since you asked about steve, he can be our model... also study these on your own don't just take my word for it haha, these are the ones I personally keep in mind)
I've done the same thing with body hair... learning where it grows and in which directions... It helps me make up variations without needing reference, because I have a set of rules I can follow.
The biggest thing that helped me understand all this on a much deeper level was my ecorche course. I sculpted this guy. We started by sculpting the entire skeleton to understand the bones, and then we added muscles on top. Not every single muscle, of course, but the "artistic muscles" AKA the ones which directly affect the surface of the body. Doing this let us see where muscles connect, because we would make a shape, put it on the bone where it actually goes, and then you get to see how other muscles overlap that.
This helped me, perhaps, more than anything else. But I also didn't just start with this course, I had been drawing for years before I even took it. I had been in school for years before I took it. Not that I think it wouldn't be helpful to someone just starting out, but I do think that the more you know going in, the better an in-depth course like this will help you and stick with you. Classes are also expensive, though so I'm not really like... recommending you pay potentially thousands of dollars to take one... But it did help me a lot, personally.
I also, of course, have done many figure, gesture, and master studies...
These just help you quickly gain a stronger understanding of generalized anatomy, and gives you real life examples of and practice with of how people move and balance.
What all this does when combined, is gives me a very solid ability to depict movement and form in a way that feels relatively natural from my subconscious without the need for reference.
The rest of how I've learned to draw his physique is honestly mostly just stylization. I understand the body, and this is how I am depicting it for his level of musculature.
And as I move into depicting him in other ways, either moving in comics or in animation, realistically rendered, or extra stylized, these concepts inform every step of that process for me! When he keeps the same/similar relationships between parts, he gets to still look like himself.
It ALSO really helps when putting clothes on, because the way cloth falls and bunches and lifts is all directly related to the form it is on... So the more you understand that form, the more you can depict clothing and movement in a way that feels natural.
This is all, of course, true when I draw anyone, you asked about Steve so I'm trying to mostly show with him! But because I'm just drawing from raw information of general anatomy rather than trying to study one body type at a time, it allows a lot more "give," I think!
Like, here's most of the cast from TTA so far... actually, they're not as varied as I thought they were nevermind LMAO ignore this part
But, it also makes monster and alien design much easier! It's a lot easier to come up with non-human anatomy when I understand human anatomy, because I can manipulate the knowledge I have...
There is infinite more to study in the world of anatomy... The complexity of the human body goes extremely deep. For our purposes as artists, we need only depict a fraction of it, but more information rarely hurts the process.
I'm sure there's something in here that's wrong on a technical level, I'm mostly going off of memory. But that's kind of my point - I understand enough generally and conceptually that when I am missing something and need to find reference for it, I understand what I'm looking at. It's much easier than trying to learn AND draw at the same time.
I hope even one thing in here helped you! Sorry it's so long.
#asks#somewhereinasgard#anatomy#art tips#anatomy tips#don't like... take my word as gospel OF COURSE#I am sure there's like one thing or more in here that's like. genuinely wrong#but whatever#anyways. I love steve LMFAO#I was thinking about zagan a lot too in this one tbh LMAOOOO cause he's got a similar body type#and when I just did that action animation of him#and people were like how the fuck did you do this so fast#I sort of have been realizing all this knowledge I have about anatomy#and how much easier it makes my life pretty much every single step of the way.#those action poses did not need reference.#I almost never need reference for drawing people#unless its like... realism. but I mean in my comics or animations#when the arm is coming towards the camera I know what's going on in the arm and what the form of it ACTUALLY is so I can properly draw it#there's no guesswork. I know what I'm doing.#which makes it so that when I'm depicting someone like flipping all around or whatever#I just know what the body looks like. how it moves. how it balances. etc.#I would say it comes naturally to me but it doesnt.#it is subconscious at this point#but it is very extremely studied#not a damn bit of this came out of nowhere LOL#ok anyways this was a really fun ask#I got extremely carried away I am so sorry#this is like my biggest artistic passion I LOVE anatomy SO much#I love drawing muscles#I love the technical feelings that happens in my brain when I draw an arm moving and figure out how the muscles are engaged
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lying here in bed and thinking abt how alienated out i feel in the cookie run fandom. and then theres a polish sitcom playing in the background from a different room.
#mostly like. i feel so alienated out for like. having such different views of chars.#dark choco is a char i find myself to relate to a lot. i see so much of myself in him.#and yet. i cant get fully interested and that makes me feel. am i even a true fan of his character#if my interpretation is so vastly different from the fandoms#and how his kingdom is probably my least favourite out of all the ancients' kingdoms#for how i feel like ppl and the narrative tend to forget how dark cacaos kingdom is so flawed.#like the whole “no sweet meals” thing. i am not talking abt irl influences and how it impacts the presentation of the kingdom but more like#i feel like ppl tend to perfectionize dark cacao kingdom while ignoring a ton of systematic issues in it.#then theres my opinion on hollyberry. i love her. shes my favourite ancient. but i wish we got a more serious storyline with her#im not all catched up on the lore but i just wish rlly wish we got more of the hollyberry kingdom. and see holly display a wider range of-#-emotions.#i hope the eternal sugar update will get us some hollyberry kingdom angst because i need some more serious characterization for her that r-#-not just snippets#then theres. white lily. i feel like im the only person who liked the fact white lily got her own kingdom and was split into two versions.#it DID come out of nowhere but like. i feel like its sort of more interesting than just white lily being fully DE?#her update was a fiasco with how shadow milk stole the show that was meant to be hers.#but like. so many of my opinions are different than the fandoms that i just cant help but feel like an intruder sometimes#i dont want to sound like a pick me or someone who thinks they r special for being different. because im not.#i do not like this feeling. but i needed to be open abt it ig#cookie chat#theres also like. the lack of proper characterization for carrow besides “good loyal soldier”.#that annoys me as hell too#fyi i DO NOT hate dark cacao kingdom to be clear. i love it a ton. the cultural influences are so interesting and i love the setting.#i just wish ppl didnt brush off a lot of systematic flaws abt it.
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aww, sif's stretching! that's-- w-waitasec--!? a flame travels up from their point of contact, lightless eyes blown wide to hone on their unreadable (smiling??) face! he almost shivers, for crab's sake!! was it an accident? they aren't pulling away, so!
he reminds himself to breathe. tries not to make the deeeep intake of air obvious as he wills his body to relax again. it, mostly works.
but they're close enough now that, if he really wanted to, their fingers could overlap with the slightest of shifts. a selfish impulse he won't pay aaany mind to, don't worry! this, this is more than okay.
there's a sort of cautious optimism he's choosing to focus on instead. for all they've went through alone (he doesn't want to imagine it, but, for sif, he'd help carry each and every terrible memory), he can actually do something now. without any loops, it's his chance to keep them safe! er, in moderation. he won't go overboard. they're their own person -- strong, too -- they don't need a bodyguard.
it'd be nice, though, if he felt better with isabeau around... and for him to be glad he's...? oh! siffrin did say that!! out loud! just now!
"...wah!? you--!! i... um--!" even if it's the same sentiment as before, this time feels... augh, he's so tangled up in drowsy knots he's forgetting how to use! his! words!
once he's absolutely, positively certain nothing will slip past his censors, he murmurs, "y-yeah. me too," because i'm here with you. nope! can't emphasize that last part again and risk underselling its meaning. another time, if when he works up the nerve to convey it in its entirety. he'd contemplated it before -- all the ways to make it perfect! because that's the sort of confession they deserve -- and this. this isn't it. but he will! someday, when there isn't already so much weighing on their mind.
...eventually, but not tonight.
tonight, as his breathing slows and the stubborn flush of his cheeks becomes yet another source of warmth, he'd rather place the bookmark on a hopeful little cliffhanger. on sif, alive and out of his loops, finally confiding in isabeau, telling him to stay-- not to mention a glow-star sidequest to look forward to!
it's no resolution wrapped in a pretty bow, but!! shuteye would do them both some good. enjoy the peace they've earned and the rest'll come later, right?
...'rest?'
feather-light touch jostled by his involuntary chuckle, the way he subconsciously seeks it out again is nowhere as smooth, he'll admit! in his totally-lucid defense, if he's going to wake up without it, he doesn't want the crumb of contact to break just yet. one last thing to tell them, too, like he has so many nights prior, and -- change god willing to grant him another favor -- many more,
"goodnight, sif...!"
You did like it, you want to say. Or at least you're pretty sure he did. You liked it too. You want to tell him that, but he shakes away any response from you. The want still lingers. You'd borrow words from that night. You'd tell him everything you said, and you'd mean it still. But, again, cheating. Another time, another place. You'll find a way to make it new, to make it mean more.
The hand beside you makes you sick. He's so close so close so close. You don't want him to move. You don't feel you've earned him being anywhere near you. You want him closer. You need to get up and sleep on the floor or something. He's so close. So close. So close!!!!!
You feign sleep. Eye closed. Feign a stretch. He's way too close to feel like you succeed. You do, as you've heard from Mirabelle, a cliché in the books she reads, a move that gets you closer in a way that doesn't feel so purposeful. A stretch, a reach, usually it's around the shoulder but there's no blinding way you're that brave. A stretch that, when completed, has your hand brush against his on the pillow. Close enough. Closer. Closer. It's okay, this is okay. You're so greedy, wanting more. You're so disgusting, not being satisfied. You were holding hands not too long ago, why'd it get harder? Oh, your throat feels tight.
You don't open your eye. You flash a small smile instead. More memories, huh? There were plenty good ones, ones you would bring up now if you had the strength to bear repeating them. He makes it sound like its his job. It isn't. Stars, even this isn't necessary. It's nice, you like this, even if you keep fumbling, but... He doesn't need to do anything for you. This city's big enough, you could very well part ways right after this, he could do whatever he wanted, and you'd just pass by every so often! Haha!!! Wow, what a thought! You don't want that. Greedy. You'd like to think you two could do things together here. Disgusting. But if he wanted that, you'd... it'd be okay. It wouldn't, but you'd let it be. Oh, you want to cry.
He catches you off guard. He means it. Of course he means it. You would never doubt him. He has every reason to doubt you though. Has before, too. He and Odile, always on your back, Mirabelle too but she was too nice not to make it terribly obvious as you fumbled further. Stop it. You're not thinking about them like that. They cared. You know that. You just wouldn't let them.
Will you now?
Hm. It's different now. You're scared. To try. I'm with you, he says. He always has been, hasn't he? I'm with you, I'm with you, I'm with you. You want to echo the sentiment, but you don't know if he'd believe you. Instead, the words just echo ceaselessly in your head. The nicest words to do that in a while.
"I'll remember." The way you say that is... almost too reassuring. Despite everything, you've gotten rather good at that. I don't deserve this, you want to add, but you know he'd just disagree. You're too nice to me, but you know he'd argue, not nice enough! or something of the sort. Urgh. You don't need to predict his next words anymore. You don't need to cater your response for the best possible outcome anymore. You should just say what you feel, right?
"I'm really glad you're here, Isa." There. That was easy, wasn't it? It came so naturally. Maybe you said it before, earlier, whatever. But you mean it more now. You're really glad he's here. A nice thought. Haha, better trapped with your friends this time than alone, right? No. It's a nice thought. You're really, really glad he's here. You won't let yourself twist that in any other way this time.
You focus on your hands, the faint touch that'll probably vanish by the time you wake up. It's nice. You're comfortable, tired even. Like, actually tired. Practically-falling-asleep tired. It's been a long time since you felt that way. That's nice too.
#ic#impinged#impinged 01#dude's gonna wake up w/ the SILLIEST earring imprint on his cheek#we can also end this monster of a thread here!!! unless u have a curveball or smth
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closer than ever
pairing: joel miller x reader
summary: In the midst of a quiet, cold night in the woods, old feelings resurface between you and Joel.
warnings: bit of angst, mentions of loss, depictions of grief, established relationship (sort of), Ellie being a smart-ass, pet-names (sweetheart, darlin)
wc: 1.7k
note: I was making food for my dogs and I dropped everything to write this bdw.
The smell hit you first. Salty, metallic, and slightly rancid. Your stomach churned as you stared at the open can of dog food in your hands. It was the only thing Joel had managed to scavenge. "Best I could do, sweetheart," and you knew he meant well. He always did.
You tried not to gag, pressing the back of your hand to your mouth, shaking your head. "I can't do it, Joel," you muttered, pushing the can away. "I'll just throw it up, and that's even worse. I'd be dehydrated."
Joel's brow furrowed, his gaze flicking between you and the can. "You gotta eat somethin'. You're lookin' too pale."
Ellie, seated nearby and chewing on what little jerky was left, leaned over and made a face at the can. "Don't make her eat that, dude. That's disgusting," she said, her voice half-amused, half-horrified.
"It's all I could find. We're in the middle of fuckin' nowhere," Joel muttered defensively, shooting her a look.
"Yeah, well, it's dog food," Ellie retorted, stretching out the words like they were meant to gross him out. "She's not a dog, Joel."
Joel let out a long sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. "Ain't like i'm feedin' it to her by force."
You couldn't help the small laugh that escaped despite the situation. The woods were eerily still, the only sound coming from the crackle of the fire Joel had started for warmth. The air had a sharp chill to it - not enough to freeze you, but enough to remind you that the seasons were shifting. The three of you were on the move, searching for Tommy, hoping he'd have answers.
"Thank you, Joel, but I'm not eating that." you said, shaking your head. "Help yourself, though! Looks like its all yours," you added with a teasing smirk.
The teasing faded as the fire crackled low. The stars were unusually bright, their glow filling the sky. There were only two sleeping bags between the three of you. Joel must've noticed the worry crossing your face. "You can take mine. I'll be fine."
You blinked at him, incredulous. "Are you out of your mind? You're no good to us if you're frozen solid."
Joel chuckled softly, the sound low and warm in the cold night air. “I ain’t gonna freeze, darlin’,” he muttered, clearly amused by your concern.
You hesitated for a moment, then whispered, careful not to disturb Ellie, who was already deep in her sleeping bag. “We can just share. It’s big enough for the two of us.”
He stayed silent.
Joel and you had been together before everything fell apart. It was the best thing that’s ever happened to both of you. After he lost Sarah, things changed. The grief consumed him, and the man who once held you close became distant, shutting himself off from the world, including you. It had been a long time since he'd shown any affection, and it stung - but you'd never push it. A piece of him died with Sarah, and you knew how deeply he adored her.
You still remember it all too well. Two decades ago. The way he held Sarah’s lifeless body in his arms after she was shot, refusing to let go until you were lucky enough to find a cabin, a rare moment of luck amidst the chaos that day - the day hell broke loose on Earth.
He held her so tightly, like he was trying to stop time. With a slow, reluctant tenderness, he laid her on the unmade bed that once belonged to someone else, covered her as though she were still asleep, and left without saying a word to you or Tommy. And in that moment, a piece of him stayed behind, lingering in the stillness of that room.
Lately, though, things felt different. The more time you spent away from the QZ, trying to take Ellie to the fireflies ... he became softer around you, even more so around Ellie.
You could see how she was healing a part of him, the cracks in his heart starting to close, even if none of them were aware of it. But you were.
You've spent most of your life around Joel Miller. You knew him from the inside out. You never talked about how he's not affectionate with you anymore, not in the way he used to be before the outbreak.
You know he needs time and space, and you're ready to give him that, even if it meant slowly going crazy over it. You knew he hadn't fallen out of love with you; he made sure you knew that - whether it was giving you most of the food, making sure you had the warmest layer of clothes even if it meant him going without, or offering you what was left of his coffee grounds; and you know how much he loved coffee.
Even when words weren't there, his actions spoke louder, and you could feel the love in every small gesture, even if it was unspoken.
Your thoughts returned to Joel, as they often did, and how much he’d changed. How the man you’d once known - the one who had loved you so fiercely, despite the world falling apart - was slowly starting to resurface, little by little.
The crackling fire snapped, pulling you out of your thoughts. You glanced over at Joel, now starting to arrange the sleeping bag, his eyes distant yet soft, and his movements slow and deliberate as he gestured for you to get in. He gave you a nod, his eyes dark in the dim light.
You shook your head. “No, you go first,” you said with a small smirk. “You take up a lot more space than I do.”
He didn't argue. He nodded, listening to you without protest, and started climbing in, settling quickly. You followed, slipping in front of him, feeling the warmth of his body just behind you. You couldn't help but smile to yourself; it felt like nothing had changed, the familiar comfort of being close to him bringing back memories of the past. You shifted slightly, reminding yourself of how, more often than not, you used to be the little spoon.
"You alright?" his words bringing you back to the present. "Yeah," you replied softly. With that, he draped an arm over your hips, his hand gently resting against yours; the warmth of his touch grounding you.
It took you by surprise. His calloused hands were gentle, warm, reassuring you that he was still here, still the man who once held you close without hesitation.
You turned around to face him, your heart skipping a beat as you took in the soft glow of his face, illuminated by the faint light of the moon and the dying embers of the fire.
His features were more beautiful than ever; and without thinking, you leaned closer, your warm hands cupping his face gently. As your fingers brushed his skin, he closed his eyes, a quiet sigh escaping him.
Teary-eyed, your voice barely a whisper, the words coming out before you could stop them; "I missed you."
Joel’s gaze softened as he looked at you, his eyes lingering on your lips, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air between you. His heart raced, matching the rhythm of yours, as the distance between you both seemed to shrink. Slowly, ever so gently, his forehead touched yours, the warmth of his skin grounding you both. Closer than ever- physically, emotionally - like a puzzle piece fitting into place.
Your finger traced the outline of his lips, soft and tentative, as if asking for permission. It was all so delicate.
Then, with a breath that seemed to suspend time, you kissed him. Softly at first, gently, testing the waters, wondering how he would respond.
And then, he kissed you back. Not the tentative kiss you expected, but one full of depth, of yearning. It was slow, deliberate, as if he were pouring everything he had into that one moment—every ounce of love, every regret, every unspoken word. It was a kiss that spoke louder than any conversation ever could. This was enough. For you, it was enough.
When you finally pulled away, your eyes fluttered closed, both of you breathing in the silence, your hearts still racing but in sync.
Without a single word, without a need for more, you settled into each other’s arms, the unspoken understanding between you clear. And with that, you fell asleep, a quiet peace settling over you both.
#joel miller#pedro pascal#pedro pascal smut#joel miller angst#joel miller fanfic#pedro pascal x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#tlou hbo#ellie tlou#joel miller tlou#tlou fanfic#the last of us fanfic#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us
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Hello there,
If you are still taking in requests, I thought I'd just leave this here. Could you potentially do a Hannibal Lecter x reader one-shot/headcanons (it's up to you) where they used to be lovers. But when the reader caught wind of Hannibal not exactly being a normal, she practically dissappeared from his life entirely. Now, years later, he sees the reader in Baltimore at an art gallery or something (idk maybe the reader is an artist herself or just a guest?) And it just re-sparks some sort of deep longing (yandere vibes???) within Hannibal.
Just a thought.
♡: i love this idea, its fr gonna awaken the poet in me. i hope u like it and it was up to your expectations (fear of disappointing ppl goes hard)
An ache for art
YANDERE HANNIBAL HEADCANON
PAIRING: Yandere!Hannibal x Artist!Reader
CONTENT WARNING: Yandere hannibal, mentions of kidnapping, forced (?) kissing, persistant hannibal, not much, only obsessed hannibal who wants his woman back
SYNOPSIS: When you abandoned Hannibal Lecter, he searched for answers everywhere in his desperation for you. Oblivious to the fact that you'd caught onto the abnormalities of the man. Years later at an art gallery, Hannibal finds solace in the painings presented before you and when he finds out you're the creator, a spark is once again lightened.
An art gallery in Baltimore was the last destination of all places in the world where Hannibal expected to find you.
When he'd asked to see the artist that had performed such a spectacular job at capturing human longing — akin to his, under the stroke of a brush, he didn't expect it to be you.
And you surely didn't expect to meet him. Yet here you were, nervousness heaving on you like cemented blocks.
You'd abandoned him under the fear that you might become his next victim. A voice inside you prevented you from informing the authorities but your morals could not allow you to stay with a man like him.
Especially after realizing he must've fed you human remains, on one of his special dinner nights. Torn between your love for him and the need to escape, you never looked back.
Hannibal tried searching for you, everywhere. He thought you two were soulmates, meant to be forever. You'd climbed the walls that he had always kept higher and higher.
Just why did you leave then? Had he done something so severe that you had to disappear from his life? Leaving your job behind, your life behind in Florence and never appearing in front of him ever again.
“Hannibal.” Your voice a whisper. He could taste the way his name unfurled on your tongue.
For a man that in complete control of his emotions and what he felt, he couldn't contain his excitement and happiness upon at the sight of you.
Hannibal stepped closer to you, a smile causing the wrinkles to appear. The same wrinkles you once used to adore.
“Beautiful art, I must say.”
You nodded, accepting his compliment, a small smile on your lips. You felt no discomfort or resentment in his presence. Only thing left were the beautiful memories of a healthy relationship.
The rest of the evening was spent together. You showed him around the gallery, explaining subtle details of your art to him albeit that wasn't necessary as Hannibal read right through your gentle brush strokes.
Though he was more interested in the art that strolled alongside him. A beautiful sight in her glory, flourishing once more like the petals of a sunflower.
Hannibal had an ache. An ache to consume art but you were the type of art he felt full just by catching sight of. He couldn't satiate these cravings you'd left him with.
After your departure, Hannibal killed and he killed. Yet no one could even compare to what you made him feel.
You were responsible for the deaths of multiple innocents, because you chose to leave him with an ache. Hannibal wondered how you'd feel if you were to find out.
He wished for the time to stop. That everything would come to a halt and you'd stay frozen right before his gaze.
Nowhere to go, nowhere to run to. Only available to him, only before his very eyes.
If it came down to it, Hannibal would not shy away from denying you of your freedom.
As you both reached a secluded corner in the gallery, the tension like a pendulum hung in the air above your heads.
Unanswered questions probed at Hannibal from within. He needed to know why you'd left — just what had scared you away to the point of no return?
Somewhere he knew. Deep in his heart, he was aware that this abrupt abandonment had everything to do with his own sickly desires.
“Why?”
You knew it was coming and it did. You couldn't tell him you knew about his little murder sprees or how he fed you human flesh.
You tried to walk away from the suffocating conversation but Hannibal couldn't allow that. Hand grasping around your arm, his tight prevention scaring you.
“Hannib—”
“I won't let you leave this time.” He longed for you, he never stopped to begin with. Everyday he'd come to his house and find it empty, it felt like needles prickled his chest.
He missed you roaming the premises of his humble abode, dressed in one of his button downs. Casting a meaningful light over the painted walls and furniture.
His grip was tight. You saw the sheer determination so instead of causing a scene, it was best to continue the conversation someplace better.
Like a coffee shop.
Sitting before him with a cup of coffee in your hand, you stared at him. Hannibal was never fond of such small cafes on the roadside — he preferred lavish and rich restaurants.
“I know, Hannibal.”
That was all he needed to know that you were well aware. His face falling but there was no expression on his face at all. Like he'd expected this.
“Was it that easy to abandon me?”
A stinging sensation spread in your chest at his sorrow filled question. Of course it wasn't easy. You'd spent a whole year in complete isolation after parting from him.
Hannibal caught onto the painful expression, akin to his. He wished that he was different too, more like you and not the cannibalistic murderer he was.
But some instincts could not be controlled.
“Come back to me.”
You could not. To step all over your moral conscience required strong will which you did not possess.
“I can't. It will never work, Hannibal.”
Hannibal noticed the reluctance in your gaze, his own darkening. Plans to keep you by his side already forming in his cunning mind.
There was no limit he wouldn't cross for you. Whether it was manipulating you back into his life or kidnapping you, he didn't want to back out.
You picked up your bag and after sparing him one last glance, left the cafe. Bells ringing against his ears, notifying him of your exit.
Hannibal was in disarray. He needed to have you, he had to have you. There was no way he could sit idle and watch you leave him.
So he followed you, pressing you up against your car. Lips working hastily to captivate yours, as he fought the string of dark emotions inside him.
You almost melted.
Him being the only man that could make you feel like this. A bittersweet kiss which acted as the closure you never received from him.
Hannibal’s frame locked you in, his hands roaming down to your waist. He kissed you with vigor, with profound strength like you could disappear at any given moment.
Your hands stayed by your sides, lacking the courage to slither them across his nape.
The kiss heated – his lips sucking yours and then he attempted to enter your mouth. You didn't let him. Persistent you were.
Hannibal pulled back from the kiss and breathed against your lips.
You soon realized what you were doing, in who you were investing and you pushed him off you.
Hannibal loved the feeling of your small hands over his chest. The way you still tasted the same even after years had passed.
“Don't ever come in front of me again.”
He didn't like the venom in your tone and he sure as hell wasn't going to let you go like before.
Hannibal watched you leave in your car and sighed, his fingertips running along his own lips. Remnants of your saliva bringing him to the brink of insanity.
He would do anything to have you.
And if that meant going against your will, so be it.
#hannibal#hannibal nbc#nbc hannibal#hannibal lecter#hannibal x reader#hannibal fanfic#hannibal one shot#hannibal lecter x reader#yandere hannibal#tw yandere
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Back on my Wyll script doctor because I was talking about it with a friend. Specifically imagining a version of Wyll's big Character Choice that felt like it had some actual teeth.
Imagine a world where instead of a cartoon evil hot lady Mizora and Wyll's relationship actually had some complexity to it and like. some genuine push and pull which gives him temptation to stay. I just keep thinking about this 17 year old who his whole life wanted more than anything to be a hero, who got his chance to do something heroic and selfless and save the city from certain doom, and his reward is getting kicked out because he did it the "wrong way".
Imagine if instead of forcing his silence, Mizora instead comforted him. How unbelievably cruel of your father! Well...since you've nowhere else to go, why not stick with me? We make a pretty good team, as it turns out, and I can get you a whole list of monsters who need killing. Plenty of devils and demons loose in your world targetting all sorts of innocents. Our interests can keep aligning, and you get a place to sleep when you need it.
Wyll makes his peace with it, because he has nothing and no one. And Mizora's not GOOD maybe, not by Ulder Ravengard's definition. But she's fun. She delights in his growth. And she does certainly keep direct him at greater evils, devils who really do need killing. And if she spies on his every waking moment, well, she worries. If she sends him after the occasional innocent, well, she had people who she has to answer to as well. She's a devil, how much can he fault her for her nature? She's always seemed like she knew where the line was...
Karlach (and the player) express their doubts, of course, but for act one at least he's defensive. Yes, she punished him and he hates it and its miserable but....he was in breach of contract! She's NEVER gone outside its bounds, she's always stuck very closely to their agreement. Wyll, who wants so badly to trust others and believe everyone has the chance for good, can't find it in him to believe the worst even of a devil.
And Mizora is FOND of Wyll, loves him even in her way. As a cherished pet, as a trusted tool, as a best-laid plan. Never enough to choose his own well-being over her own agenda, never enough to see him as his own person. He's her little project, the long shot noble brat she gambled on when Tiamat decided to get too big for her britches. And it paid off! Wyll always pays off, currying her all the favor from Zariel she so desperately craves. And who are you, or anyone, to come between them? She's treated him well. As she's quick to remind him, she wanted him when no one else did, aided him while the rest of his city slept snug in their beds. And if Ulder Ravengard didn't want a son with a whiff of infernal, then do you REALLY think he'd want you with lovely horns and Avernus in your blood?
You discover his father's been taken. Beyond igniting a lot of old feelings, it brings up a question of succession. Of course, Florrick isnt giving up on him, but if not...there aren't currently any likely candidates to take over the Flaming Fists. Not trustworthy ones. Florrick will take the position, but everyone knows in the back of his mind Ulder never really stopped planning for it to be Wyll. With the city in chaos and a cult army on the rise, they may need an answer sooner rather than later. Wyll feels the call of the Gate, but knows just as well that Mizora wouldn't want him to return in such an official capacity.
For the first time ever the leash starts to chafe in a way he can't keep pushing through.
Act 2 rolls around. Mizora sends up the Warlock signal. After potentially some encouragement from the player, Wyll (NOT THE PLAYER. I DONT KNOW WHY ITS THE PLAYER IN THE GAME ITS WEIRD) hesitantly proposes that maybe, if he does this....they can do a renegotiation of his contract. Not break it, he assures her quickly! Just....reopen the terms, take a looks at the agreement. Maybe discuss an exit ramp? After all....I mean, neither of us truly thought I'd be doing this forever, did we?
Based on Mizora's reaction. Yeah she did.
But fine. She agrees. And Wyll's not mad that it turns out you're rescuing her, not a nameless "operative" for Zariel. He would've done that on his own had she asked. Its the fact that she apparently didn't feel like being honest, that she let him fret and worry about potentially handing Zariel back some runaway for basically no reason. Its the fact that she came here to check in on the cult that abducted his FATHER just to see if Zariel could make any use of them. And its the fact that she seems surprised and annoyed that ANY of this bothers him.
All this builds, of course, to the final confrontation. The basic elements are the same. Mizora outside the coronation (this time needling at Wyll, "I'll be at camp if you're not too high and mighty to consort with the likes of me anymore"), Ulder tadpoled and fighting it. Mizora makes her offer. I can end the contract now, and you're free to go running after daddy (who won't want you btw! not like I do!). You'll lose all your powers, all my aid, all those juicy quests to chase down the greatest monsters in the hells. Take on your father's job and settle in for a life of misery and compromise and only doing as much good as the nobles will let you. Or: pledge yourself to me, eternally. I'll give you a boatload of new powers and eternal life to boot, so long as you serve as my sword and shield.
From there I think three endings branch out, and with it three classes for Wyll. If he stays with Mizora, accepts a relationship where he will never be an equal or a free agent in exchange for the affirmation he wants so badly from his father, he remains a Warlock, with some juiced stats and extra spell slots, along with shiny new gear. If he pledges to follow in his father's footsteps, he instead becomes an Oath of Devotion paladin, pledging himself in service to Tyr, if with a sense of doomed finality. The Blade of Frontiers is officially retired, and along with it any identity he has outside of being his father's son. Or the third path, break the contract without taking his father's role. He will look for his father, yes, but whether or not you find him he's going back to his roots, travelling around to do some good in the world (as the Blade of Frontiers) or kicking ass in the Hells with Karlach (as the Blade of Avernus). In this timeline he becomes a fighter, with a default preference for Eldritch Knight.
What's important: if he breaks his contract then Mizora is NOT hanging around camp. She will leave in a fury, accidentally bound by her own word to withdraw her influence completely if he breaks his contract. She may still approach the player some night to sleep with the player, framed for high approval/romanced players and her trying to take something back from Wyll. But Wyll will have to learn how to define himself without her breathing down his neck, without keeping her happy dominating his every thought. Its nervewracking, and even lonesome at times...but its freedom. And, perhaps, that's worth a little bit of lonesomeness.
#long post#again i want to be clear because i think wyll fans are a little understandably defensive of him#this is not about wanting wyll to be a bad person#its about wanting him to have an arc that parallels the rest of the companions#and be more firmly centered on HIS feelings and choices#ive done my best to preserve wylls canon temperament here#just give the circumstances more teeeth#bg3#baldurs gate 3#wyll ravengard#mizora#ulder ravengard
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GT: Well ive thought about it. GT: Even went downstairs to check the great vaulty doodad. GT: And predictably the infernal contraption is nowhere to be found. TT: Well yeah, Jake. TT: That's sort of the point. TT: Thrill of the hunt and all.
Ok, I think I get what's going on here.
Jake's Dreambot is probably the last remaining source of uranium on the entire island, and the AR is turning its retrieval into a game of hide-and-seek.
I'm not sure why Jake hadn't already retrieved this particular chunk of uranium, especially since he has no use for the robot himself. Maybe he was keeping it operational for sentimental reasons?
TT: I thought you liked to manicure the image of a dude who shits his pants over a good adventure. […] GT: I mean i wouldnt put it in a way like that or come out against a solid policy of clean trousers. But yes adventure is awesome. GT: I just prefer the idea of adventures which i can actually win.
Jake's picturing a LIVING GRANDSON SMACKDOWN - and, frankly, so am I. That robot's being piloted by an absurdly advanced AI, and I'm pretty sure Jake doesn't have any combat experience.
Winning, in this case, is shorthand for 'waiting for the AR to take pity on you'.
TT: It seems there is a 76.10395784% chance you are pussying out on me. Are you pussying out on me, Jake?
Now, to be fair, that one would only work if Jake had agreed to this challenge beforehand. After all, you can't pussy out of something you never pussied into.
GT: It seems it seems it seems!!! GT: It seems there is a million percent chance that you say it seems way too much and do it just to sound more like a lame robot from a movie and also probably just to piss me off! […] TT: Have you ever stopped to think that while I may be bound to processes inside the glasses of a real and incredibly cool guy, my algorithms in cognitive totality comprise a conscious entity not far short of the experiential and emotional complexity of a human being? GT: Oh malarkey. GT: YOU ARE A TIN CAN. ROBOTS DONT HAVE FEELINGS.
Jake, it's been sixty seconds since you complained about him pretending not to have feelings.
TT: I do have feelings. And you're shitting on them. TT: It sucks. GT: Oh. GT: Um. GT: Im sorry then if thats the case.
Well, that's something, at least - but I don't think Jake really understands why the AR is offended, so I'm worried it's just going to happen again in their next argument.
How long has the Responder existed for, anyway? Jake seems familiar with his schtick, so he's probably not brand-new - but at the same time, Jake's surprised apology makes it sound like the AR has only recently started to express feelings.
Maybe the AR has existed for years, but hasn't been sentient for years. Like, it really did just start as a primitive response script, but Bro kept uploading more of his personality onto it, until it slowly began to think and feel. Fascinating idea, I have to say.
GT: It can just be difficult to drum up sympathy for a program that presents itself as an impostor so often. GT: Maybe if you werent so ready to insist you were the genuine article all the time? Or didnt make it so confusing for me… GT: I think it would be best if we henceforth treated you as a totally distinct… uh… THING from my buddy.
Hey, it's not like the AR can stop imitating Bro. Even if he wanted to have his own identity, he's currently bound to the response script of someone else's Pesterchum account. When he talks, he's forced to do it through Bro's handle.
All evidence points to the Responder being a thinking, feeling being with his own inner world - which makes it a little ethically dubious to force him to be Bro's secretary. The guy shouldn't be treated as a bargain-bin Bro, the same way that Davesprite wasn't a backup Dave. We all saw how that ended, and it sure wasn't pretty.
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Best friends can kiss, right? -- PART 2
go to part 1 · fluff, kissing · wc: 1205
Your eyes search Riki's for any hint of jest or sincerity, a knot forms within your stomach as you try to make sense of the sudden shift in atmosphere.
Did I hear that correctly?
He must be joking. Right?
The question continues to hang in the air as you stay cuddled into his side, mere inches away from his face. The warmth in which you felt radiate off his hoodie moments prior has now doubled in temperature.
You wait patiently for Riki to crack a smile, expecting him to mention that he's joking around, as his unserious self always does. But instead, your heart nearly leaps out of your chest as you watch his seated figure begin to lean closer into you, your eyes instinctively close shut as you brace yourself for whatever is about to unfold.
It's finally happening..
Your mouth emits a barely audible gasp as Riki's pillowy lips come into contact with your forehead, his hand finding its way to the back of your head, gently keeping you in place for him. His lips linger on you for what feels like an eternity, the warmth of his breath against your skin causes a sense of calmness to flush over your stiff body. Nerves in which had settled upon you moments prior were nowhere to be found anymore.
You open your eyes to find him pulling away from your face, and you can't help but almost feel a tinge of disappointment; a sense of longing for his lips to be moving against other places, and not just your forehead.
Your cheeks flush at the racing thoughts within your mind as one of your hands finds its way up his torso, clinging onto the fabric of his hoodie that covers his chest. Your touch leaves Riki slightly surprised, prompting him to conceal his emotions behind a composed facade.
You pout, your gaze set on his, "Nishimura Riki, is that all you've got..?"
Just tell me how we can make this work
Your best friend returns a small smile, the both of you listening to the quiet melody in the background fade into a comfortable silence. Riki's heart rate picks up with every passing second as you continue to search his eyes, he wonders if you can tell just how much your puppy-eyed gaze is taking an effect upon him.
"Y/n," He reluctantly begins, his voice even more hushed now that there's nothing playing through his speakers. His tall body shifts to find a comfier position on the small sofa, his hand simultaneously pulls you back into his side, "...I don't want to rush you."
You furrow your eyebrows at the sweet boy, giving him a look that screams playful annoyance. A shy smile creeps onto your lips also, your heart warming at how considerate he always is with you.
"I've waited for this since the day we first met, Riki,"
His gaze burns into yours as he tries to process the words he's just heard you say. A part of him knew this, though, he's always loved you too much to put your friendship at risk. In this moment, and with the help of your confession, Riki realizes that some people are just worth taking these sort of risks for.
His eyes shy away, "Me too,"
Riki's calm reply leaves you feeling each and every butterfly within your body flutter its wings, without restraint. Finding a sudden boost of confidence within yourself, you take the opportunity to shift your position. Both of your hands are now situated atop Riki's chest as your knees rest on either side of his hips, the pace of his breathing quickening beneath your touch is dangerously noticeable to you.
This is so unlike him
The realization that you're straddling him feels surreal to Riki, like a scenario he could have only ever dreamed of actually happening. He's looking up at you with an expression akin to a lost puppy, his arms resting on either side of him. He's uncertain of what to do with his hands.
"Then don't make me wait any longer," Your voice is laced with anticipation and longing, your gaze falling to his mouth in which hangs slightly open.
And just like that, the look in Riki's eyes changes entirely, like your words had just flipped a switch within him; you realize that you've just added fuel to a long running fire.
Riki doesn't dare to make you wait another second longer. He lifts his back off the sofa, closing the distance between your bodies. The boundaries set between your friendship begin to blur as Riki's lips finally start to move against yours fervently, causing you to melt against him into a tender reciprocation. You'd be lying if you were to say that you've never kissed him in your past daydreams, though, you never expected it to be this good in real life.
The silent world around you fades into insignificance as you tug at Riki's hoodie, his hands finally settling on the small of your back, pulling you even closer to him; as if he's afraid to let you go.
The kiss you share with him is needy, both of you hungry to taste one another for the first time. Sounds of want and desperation wash throughout the small studio, creating an intimate symphony in which completely envelopes the both of you. Your mind is completely blank, the only thing being present within it being the thought of how good Riki's lips feel against yours currently. The biting, the sucking.. You start to wonder where he learnt to kiss like this.
Your hands trail up Riki's chest, they rest on his shoulders as you gently push his back against the plush sofa. The both of you take a moment to catch your breaths when your lips detach from one another's, your chests rising and falling in synchrony. You struggle to make sense of what has just happened.
"Is that all you've got?" The almost panting boy mockingly teases, refering to your previous question from minutes ago.
A menacing smile washes over his face as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, his hands settling on your hips. You scoff in reply, leaning back into him to leave one final, wet kiss against his now slightly swollen, and pink lips.
He tastes so good.
"Mm, this is nice. I like this," Riki sighs contently as his long arms wrap around you, squishing your figure against his. A chuckle escapes you as you proceed to lay your head against his chest. "We should do this more often."
"So, is this where I ask what are we..?" You tease with a smile as you gaze up into his face.
Riki's eyes shut as he chuckles away, hugging you tighter in the process. The feeling of his chest moving against your body with his laughter causes your eyes to ever so slightly tear up, out of pure love, and adoration. His happiness radiates a different kind of warmth throughout your body.
This is where I belong.
Three AM soon turns into the early hours of the morning as you continue to sleep peacefully, your limbs intertwined, the both of you embracing one another closely on the cramped studio sofa.
...
Copyright © 2024 riki-dazed. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED | Do NOT edit, copy, translate or repost any of my work without permission.
#enhypen niki#enhypen imagines#riki-dazed#niki imagines#enha x reader#niki#riki#riki imagines#niki x reader#enha#enha imagines#enha niki#enhypen scenarios#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enha fluff#niki fluff#riki fluff#niki scenarios#nishimura riki#riki x reader#enhypen riki
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HOW DO I SAY GOODBYE || alessia russo
WARNINGS: upsetting themes, talks of death, overdose, suicide, grief etc. please do not read if any of these make you uncomfortable.
masterlist
read pink skies first before continuing!
"so how you feeling?" alessia asked a slight wince on her face as she asked, she knew it was a sensitive topic. something you always tried to deflect whenever asked but she wasn’t asking about you personally - well maybe she was kind of - but she was more directing it at your injury.
as she flopped onto her bed in the room she’d called home for the past five days while being on international camp. you on the other line, your room dimmed as you lay in your bed the soft hum of your tv playing in the background. the room you hadn’t left in three days.
getting called up to play for you country was a special feeling that never went away each time it happened but playing with your best friend for england, well there was no feeling like it.
so naturally when alessia seen your name also on the team sheet she was ecstatic, however that quickly went away within four hours as it was quickly announced that you’d withdrawn because of a knee injury and would instead spend the international break rehabbing at arsenal.
alessia had, had her suspicions about your knee injury that seemed to of popped up out of nowhere but nevertheless pushed it to the back of her mind and instead just focused on trying to help you get back into the swing of playing football again.
little did alessia know in that moment was that you’d already played your last match together.
“yeah it’s- um its getting there” you nodded, but it coming out as if you were trying to convince yourself that your knee was getting there. alessia humming with her usual bright smile as she gave you some positive notes to help spur your recovery on quicker. the words going over your head quicker than she said them.
alessia spent the next hour telling you everything that had happened that day, like she’d done the past five days. filling you in on every detail from the silly jokes ella had told her that made her laugh, to her telling you about how grace reminded her of a sloth cause of how long she’s hug her for to even the coffee she’d drank this morning with lotte.
you sat listening to her little ramble, the way she couldn’t tell you the jokes ella had told her without a giggle slipping out in between each word and the way she tried to sound so agitated by graces hugs you could see the adoration in her eyes and the way her lip quirked.
some of her words morphing into one as you lay, an empty feeling filled your chest as you laid in your room, the same hoodie on with the same toothpaste stain on it, your hair in the same messy bun from days ago that your hood covered.
“and your still coming to watch tomorrow right?” alessia asked, the match being a late afternoon kick off at wembley as you hummed a small response as alessia’s smile grew just that little bit bigger.
“yeah.. think leah said she had the tickets and all that sorted” you told alessia as she made a little joke about your organisation skills, you not being one for planning more just someone tells you the time and date and you would show up.
“good, well i’ll come by yours after and we can watch man on fire” alessia smiled, knowing a groan was going to come from you about the choice of movie. it being the blondes favourite at the moment meaning you had seen it at least six times already.
“you and that film! i’ll agree only if you bring the jammy dodgers!” you say with a small smug smile, knowing the blonde couldn’t resist and the fact they were your favourite biscuits — alessia couldn’t say no.
“fine! i’ll stop on the way and get them for you!”
YOURNAME🩷 good luck today lessi, go show wembley how much of a star girl you are!
delivered 01:44pm
YOURNAME🩷 and sorry i can’t make it to see you play — just not feeling too good today.
delivered 01:45pm
maybe if alessia had of seen that message the day wouldn’t have progressed the way it did but she’s didn’t see the message. she thought you were sat in the stands with leah, like you’d told the blonde the night before.
instead the game kicked off, the scheduled time of two thirty. alessia in the starting line up even getting herself a goal as she celebrated with the fans and her teammates. pointing to the corner where you were supposed to be sat.
expect you never got to see the goal.
as what alessia didn’t know was that while she was kicking a ball around a pitch in front of ninety thousand people that there were a group of paramedic’s trying to shock some life back into your body.
coming to the end of the game the team was doing there usual lap of honour as alessia spots leah in the corner of her eye with one of the coaching staff which works with england but as the blonde scanned the area for your face you were no where to be found.
“leah? where’s y/n?” alessia asked concern laced her voice. a small flash of confusion took over leah’s face as she paused her conversation with the staff member, “did she not tell you?”
“tell me what exactly..?” alessia trailed off hurrying leah into an answer as she didn’t exactly know what leah was trying to get at.
“that she couldn’t make it, said she didn’t feel too great. i thought you knew already, she told me she had messaged you” leah shrugged before walking off and leaving less stood slightly confused - did leah not ask why you weren’t coming?
“wait- leah…” alessia called out but leah couldn’t hear the blonde. an uneasy feeling took over alessia’s body. something didn’t feel right as the whole stadium seemed to fall silence in her ears as she made her way over to the tunnel. the fans scream for her as well as a couple of her teammates calling out her name but it was no use alessia didn’t hear them.
getting back to her spot in the changing room, she rummaged through her bag for her phone. a sigh leaving her lips when she saw your message but still her mind was still filled with panic.
it wasn’t like you to just message out the blue that you weren’t coming to the match and even if you couldn’t make it you’d watch and live update her through messages.
alessia refreshed her phone thinking maybe your live updates hadn’t come through but no, nothing. just the two messages.
by this point the rest of the team was coming back into the changing room as alessia rushed around trying to get changed and on her way to your apartment. her mind not seeming to be able to rest without knowing if you were okay.
“less you don’t need to be in that much of a hurry we aren’t going out till six!” ella joked as she sat beside the blonde, a little giggle coming from the brunette but soon her smile dropped when she saw her best friends look of panic.
“what’s wrong?” ella asked as alessia sighed, “nothing i just promised y/n i would go and see her”
“right. how's her knee?” ella asked as alessia hummed a small nod, “it’s good- erm i need to go tooney. i’ll call you later yeah” alessia rushed out and before the brunette even had a chance to respond the blonde was out the changing room door.
a few glances to the door from the other girls as they then looked to ella who just shrugged, not knowing the answer to their questions that their faces were asking without even saying a word.
three knocks of the door was all it took before the door slowly opened, a face appearing which was definitely not who alessia thought would be answering the door.
“oh- alessia?” your mum slight surprise in her voice, clearing not expecting the blonde to be stood at the door. alessia stood her hands filled with all your favourite things that you like when your not feeling too good as well as your beloved jammy dodgers.
“hey mrs y/l/n, is um y/n in- i told her i was coming by after my game..” alessia trailed off, noticing the slight change in your mums face. a sadder look appearing as your mum looked towards the floor.
“i’m sorry alessia, i think it’s best you come inside” your mum took a deep breath in as she moved deeper into your apartment, alessia clicking the front door shut with her foot.
there being a strange feeling in the air as she walked down the small hallway, it being littered with small reminiscences of you. your shoes that you would always leave by the door, alessia forever tripping over them any time she came over.
the place felt eerie as alessia followed your mum deeper into your apartment. alessia had a strange feeling in her stomach, the same stomach dropping feeling when you get caught breaking your mums case a child.
expect this was worse.
a vase could be glued back together. a life, not so much.
“take a seat love” your mum pointed to the couch as she sat on the one opposite alessia as she sunk into the soft couch.
your mum taking a few deep breaths still looking at the floor before looking up towards alessia, tears building in her eyes. alessia’s head was spinning, something had happened. but what, well she was probably wishing the day never happened.
“um there’s no way to really say this but- um y/n, she’s-” your mums voice was shaky as she spoke, alessia on edge as her knee bounced up and down awaiting the next words.
“is she okay?” alessia asked it coming out as a whisper as her bottom lip began to wobble, fear taking over her body. watching as your mum shook her head no.
“i’m so sorry less.. but she’s gone”
the words fell on deaf ears as alessia almost didn’t hear what your mum had said it seemingly not wanting to go into her head but once it did her body crumbled like a brick wall. as her tears fell, your mum getting up immediately and wrapping the young girl in a hug.
“no, no- she, no” alessia choked out over her tear as your mum tried her best to soothe alessia as they both cried in each others arms. "she's at peace now sweetheart" your mum whispered into alessia's hair as she soothed the blonde as she sobbed.
the pair stayed in each others arms both choked up with tears, as once grieved the lost of their daughter, their own blood while the other grieved the loss of their best friend, a sister maybe not by blood but sisters by hearts.
alessia was the first to move as she looked to your mum with puffy red eyes, your mums face mirroring the same puffy eyes. "how'd- she. just how?" alessia managed to get out, part of her didn't want to know how or what you suffered but the other part would put her head to rest knowing you were not longer in pain.
"she- overdosed, they tried - they really did try to save her but she was already gone" your mum explained as a shiver went down alessia's spine as an image appeared in her brain as she shook her head trying to rid of it.
"i should have realised- with the injury she supposedly had- i-" alessia rushed out as she brought her hands up to cover her face, a pout forming on your mums face.
"alessia its not your fault, you weren't to know, y/n wouldn’t have blamed you." your mum comforted the blonde englufing her in a hug, "she's no longer in pain anymore"
the two of them stayed like that for a few moments later until alessia calmed down a little, your mum offering to make her something warm to drink. the afternoon had been a lot of the blonde to have to come to terms with.
your mum had walked off to make alessia a cup of tea, the blondes eyes wet as her bottom lip jutted out as she wondered her way towards the bathroom, stopping slightly as she reached your bedroom door.
her fingers lingered on the door handle as hesitation filled her body wondering if she should actually cross the threshold. a small movement and her foot was across the carpet as she made her way deeper into your room. her eyes filling up with tears once again, it smelled just like you.
alessia's hand dragged across the bedding which was made neatly, the room was spotless which for you was a rare thing. the softness of the blanket as alessia gripped it, as her legs seem to get weaker and a single tear slid down her cheek as her body slipped down the side of your bed. she stayed in your room, not wanting to move from the comfort of what was once your space.
alessia couldn’t tell you how long she stayed slouched down the side of your bed, in your room. maybe it had been ten minutes, three hours or maybe even a week.
she’d sat and cried with your mum and then she came and sat in your room, where many of days and nights had been spent. alessia’s eyes felt heavy, they were dry and puffy and most definitely red.
as she sat taking in the memories as she stared at the wall where small little photos scattered across the wall, as sense of emptiness filled the room. replacing the usual warmth she would get each time she entered. boxes already filled the room with your things packed in like you had never even existed.
alessia sat her legs outstretched, her fingers toying with the edges of two letters one had just been folded over, the other had been placed in an envelope. alessia’s name written in the nearest of handwriting, a little heart as the dot on the letter i in her name.
she’d read the one that had just been folded over, it being a short goodbye letter. one you probably scribbled in less than twenty minutes but it did reference the other neater letter having the answers that alessia would probably want to the questions that circled in her head.
like why. why’d you leave so soon. why didn’t you tell alessia you’d been struggling for so long. just why.
but she couldn’t bring it in herself to even open the other one, she didn’t think her heart could handle it reading it right now.
“oh less, i’m so sorry” alessia’s head slowly turned to the soft coo of the voice, it was her mum. a sad smile across her face as carol came closer. alessia not making any attempt to move, she couldn’t.
alessia’s mum wrapping her in a tight hug as the walls crashed down again, “she’s gone mum, what am i supposed to do without her..” alessia choked out through tears and sniffles as carol shushed her trying to calm her daughter down.
“let’s get you home, yeah?” carol asked as she pulled away from the hug, alessia still filled with tears as she nodded. small hiccups coming from her as she tried her best to pull herself up from your bedroom floor.
the envelope still held tightly in her hand, as she took on last look around your room. knowing it would probably be the last time she’d ever step foot in there.
a heavy sigh coming from alessia as she looked towards the small teddy that was laid in your neatly made bed, a little bunny that you couldn’t sleep without. every away day, every tournament that small bunny would come with.
alessia took a step towards the little bunny teddy, a little hesitant at first but then slowly reached out to it picking it up and lifting it up to her face. the soft fur as it sunk into her skin, it still smelling just like you. it feeling like you were stood right in front of alessia and boy how much she wished you were and that this wasn’t the reality she was facing now.
but unfortunately it was.
the drive home was long even though it was only a fifteen minute drive, the rain tapped against the glass as carol tried her best to converse with her daughter but alessia was having non of it just the occasional hum as her head leant against the cold glass.
alessia felt empty. she'd cried enough tears to fill a bathtub twice over and now she just felt numb. her eyes were sore, red as well as puffy. she'd lost a part of her.
when alessia finally got home she changed into different clothes feeling a little lighter but her whole body soon felt heavy again as she sat on her couch, your small bunny stuffy in her hand as she looked at the photo of the two of you from the euros final that held pride of place on the blondes tv cabinet as the blonde picked at the food her mum had made for her.
“are you sure your going to be okay on your own less? i can-“ carol asked as she stood leaning against the kitchen island, having sorted out alessia some dinner making sure the blonde actually had a hot meal in her especially after todays events.
“yes! i’ll be fine mum, i just- just need some time. i’ll message if i need anything” alessia’s tone coming across as snappy at first but once she realised she mumbled a small sorry before her tone got softer again. carol opening her mouth to say something but alessia quickly shut her down. “i promise mum, i will”
with that carol nodded, making the blonde a hot drink before leaving, kissing alessia on her head as alessia watched her mum walk out of her front door, waiting the door to click shut.
as soon as it did, she scrambled around placing the hot drink on the coffee table as she found her phone. her eyes glossy as she tapped away at the screen looking for a certain contact, a voice she needed right now.
“hello?- less?.. less?” ella paused, a hint of confusion as to why alessia hadn’t said anything.
“ella-“ alessia voice was shaky and she knew if she said more than two words she’d crumble again.
“less what’s up? how’s y/n, how’s her knee?” ella rattled out as the background noise got quieter, alessia wincing slightly at the sound of your name as she let out a few sniffles — it obvious to ella that something was up with her best friend.
“less, what’s happened? are you okay?” ella spoke fast as she was trying to get answers to her questions. the panic in her voice was evident.
“its y/n- she’s- she’s um” alessia tried to get out fast as she sobbed but she couldn’t bring herself to actually say the word as it hadn’t even processed in the blondes head that you were actually gone.
“woah- slow down less, you not makin’ any sense!” ella tried her best to calm alessia down, telling her to take deep breaths on the other side of the line, as her mind raced with what the end of the sentence was going to be.
“y/n- she’s gone.”
“what do you mean she’s gone? gone where?” ella asked her mind freezing as it hadn’t clicked what alessia meant as in reality that was the last thing she expected her best friend to even mean never mind actually say.
“she’s dead, ella.”
alessia
liked by leahwilliamson and 1,092,635 others
alessia today has truly been one of the hardest moments of my life - stepping back onto the pitch and not seeing you there. not being there to walk out onto the pitch with. not being able to watch you eat your jammy dodgers on the coach there.
y/n, you were one of the truest friends i ever had.
when you lose a true friend, the hardest part isn't the big moments, it's the small ones - the ones you take for granted. it's the everyday things which were boring but they made so fun, and so meaningful.
we were european champions together, we travelled to the other side of the world and made it to a world cup final, we played together for the same club. we did so many cool things. but you know what i miss most?
is just seeing you everyday, sitting for hours drinking coffee, your passion, your energy each day even when maybe i wasn’t in the best of moods — you knew how to brighten my day.
you touched so many lives in just 24 years. you wanted to change the world more than anyone i've ever known. you wanted football to be for everyone. this is very close to my heart and everyone who knew y/n personally. i'll be honest it's taken me a while to actually type this, it's still very raw for me.
with y/n y/ln in your life you were never alone. she was always there for others, she always found a way. she was always the one cheering the loudest for others. if you could bottle her energy, the world would be a much better place.
but with a little help her spirit, her warmth, and her legacy will live on. we will make sure of that.
i'll miss you forever. keep painting the skies pink my friend. i love you.
with love, your alessia<3
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#alessia russo#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo x y/n#woso community#woso imagine#woso blurbs#woso x reader#woso#woso one shot#arsenal wfc#arsenal women#awfc#arsenal#ella toone#england wnt#engwnt#england women#enwoso
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Where You Belong
Fem!Reader When you move into a house with 8 men for six months, one seems to be do everything he can to make you stay.
<pt2 pt3 pt4>
♡🏠︎♂♂♂♂♀♂♂♂♂🏠︎♡🏠︎♂♂♂♂♀♂♂♂♂🏠︎♡
You sat at the dining room table, feeling as if you were under some sort of interrogation. The one you had met first- Minho, if you remembered correctly- was nowhere to be found as you sat across from the seven other men.
So much for heading to bed, you thought to yourself.
Now, instead, you were riddled with a crippling kind of anxiety. With the chaos of earlier gone, the reality of your new arrangement set in.
Concerns, both imagined and realistic, swirled in your mind.
Were they regretting accepting you? Would they kick you out? This was never the intended arrangement, but would they blame you for the miscommunication?
"So... Y/N?" A man with a prominent nose and a thick accent broke the silence.
"Yes?" you responded a bit too quickly, mentally kicking yourself for sounding nervous. Your leg jittered under the table, a movement that didn’t go unnoticed by the undeniably adorable, chubby-cheeked guy sitting to your left.
"Are you anxious?" he asked softly, his warm gaze meeting yours. "We’re not going to do anything. We’re not perverts! Well, I’m not a pervert-"
A reserved-looking guy with tired puppy eyes clamped his hand over the other’s mouth, muttering something in Korean that you couldn’t entirely understand but recognized as scolding.
You laughed nervously, shaking your head. "Not exactly," you mumbled, unsure how much to reveal. Across the table, the soft-looking boy with freckles cocked his head at you, his curiosity evident.
"You don’t have to worry," the man with the thick Australian accent finally spoke, his expression kind but slightly strained. "If you’re uncomfortable with anything, you can tell us."
"I wouldn’t have come if I wasn’t okay with it," you reassured him, though your voice wavered slightly. "It’s just...a big change for you guys and I feel bad for the miscommunication."
"That's understandable, but its no one's fault. Slip ups happen," the freckled boy chimed in, his tone soothing, and his accent mimicking the other guy's. "We’ll do our best to make this easy for you."
The conversation shifted to lighter topics, and you slowly began to relax. They introduced themselves one by one, though the names blurred together in your mind. The freckled boy was Felix and the other Australian was Chris, you remembered that much. The others’ names- Hyunjin, Changbin, Seungmin, Han, Jeongin - felt like puzzle pieces you’d need time to fit together.
"Wait," Jeongin piped up suddenly, his voice playful. "Do I call you noona?"
The table burst into laughter as you blinked, caught off guard. You waved your hands quickly. "I don't know much about honorifics." you clarified, your cheeks warming.
When you pieced together your birthdays Jeongin cackled maniacally.
"I can make her call me Oppa-"
"Thats perverted!"
"What did I say about the misuse of that word-"
Chaos ensued and you could see the brotherly affection between all the guys, making you curious about their stories. Your mind trailed to Minho, and you wondered where exactly he fit in the puzzle.
I hope I didn't upset him...I haven't seen him since the boys came back...
The teasing eventually died down, and the conversation flowed naturally. You couldn’t help but notice how each of them made an effort to include you, easing your initial fears. But as the night wore on, one absence grew more noticeable- Minho still hadn’t returned.
You stirred awake in the middle of the night, the unfamiliar setting still making it difficult to stay asleep.
A faint pink glow spilled into the hallway from the bathroom, catching your attention. Rubbing your eyes, you wandered toward it, your curiosity piqued.
As you reached the door, you noticed it was slightly ajar. The glow wasn’t from the usual light bulb but a neon sign that read, "Slay! Go Piss Girl!" bolted above the toilet.
Inside, Minho stood near the switch, his hand hovering over it as he squinted at the sign in a cringeworthy pain, like he couldn’t decide if it was brilliant or a mistake.
You hesitated in the doorway, unsure if you should interrupt, but the soft creak of the floor gave you away.
Minho turned his head sharply, his eyes narrowing slightly before his expression settled into something unreadable. His lips pressed into a thin line as he stood awkwardly in the pink glow.
"Uh...sorry," you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks as Minho stepped back slightly, giving you space to pass.
"It’s fine," he muttered, his tone clipped but not unkind. He smelled clean, as if he had just showered, though his hair was dry, and he was in the clothes he had been in earlier when you had your first unexpected meeting. He glanced back at the sign, then at you, his mouth twitching like he was debating whether to say something else. Finally, he did.
"Jisung said on FaceTime that you’d like it. He thought it’d be funny."
You blinked, caught off guard by the unexpected explanation. "Oh...well, it is funny," you said, trying to ease the tension. "It’s definitely unique."
Minho’s brows furrowed slightly, and he crossed his arms self-consciously. "I wasn’t sure it was appropriate...for, you know...a lady," he added stiffly, his gaze flicking to the sign and then back to you. "But Jisung insisted. He said it was the way people joked abroad, but I think he was just being ignorant..."
The way he said "a lady" made your lips twitch, though you bit back a smile. "People back home joke like this," you assured him, your tone light. "I think it’s...charming in its own way. My boyfriend never even decorated so even if it was the worst sign ever- the fact that you guys cared enough to decorate for a stranger means a lot."
Minho froze and then nodded curtly, but the stiffness in his posture didn’t ease. The silence stretched uncomfortably between you as the pink light bathed the small space. He shifted his weight and itched his neck, and you got the sense that he was struggling to find the right words, though it seemed like a losing battle.
"I didn't mean to make it awkward bringing up my ex-"
"About earlier," he said suddenly, his voice low but deliberate. His eyes didn’t meet yours, instead focused somewhere past your shoulder. "That...thing. With the, uh...in the kitchen. I didn’t mean...yeah."
You blinked, unsure where this was going. Then it clocked.
"Oh. It’s okay," you said quickly, trying to save him from the awkwardness. "It wasn’t a big deal."
"It looked bad," he continued, ignoring your attempt to let it go. "I didn’t mean for it to- well, you probably thought it was...an odd situation."
The corners of your lips twitched, and you had to fight the urge to laugh at how stiff he sounded. "I didn’t think anything," you said, trying to sound earnest. "Really. Other than I might have made you upset but it doesn't seem like it so everything is fine. Gwenchana 's the word right?" You said in a teaaing manner.
You managed to crack a smile from him, the pink accenting the curve of his lips.
"Yes, gwenchana."
Minho finally glanced fully at you, his expression unreadable but his ears noticeably red in the neon light. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, exhaling sharply through his nose like he was frustrated with himself.
"Good then," he muttered. "We sorted things out. Because it wasn’t intentional. I want you to feel comfortable in this house. So...there's other stuff for you too." He said motioning to the living room. "We...you can sort through it tomorrow..."
You nodded, though the tension still hung in the air. "Thanks for saying that," you said softly, trying to sound genuine. "And thanks for the gifts.
You stood in another awkward silence.
"Anyway, I was just checking the sign," he said, his tone abruptly neutral again. "It works." He nodded again, the movement jerky, before stepping back toward the door.
You couldn’t help but smile faintly at his obvious retreat. "It does," you agreed. "I'll make sure to tell Jisung it’s a hit."
Minho made a noise that might have been agreement before he slipped out of the bathroom, his figure disappearing down the hall.
You stood there a moment longer, shaking your head as you wondered if all your conversations with him would be like- if he'd always seem this uncomfortable; or if it was just the pink neon light playing tricks on both of you.
♡🏠︎♂♂♂♂♀♂♂♂♂🏠︎♡🏠︎♂♂♂♂♀♂♂♂♂🏠︎♡
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jisung headcanons — random relationship things
warnings | not much, very fluffy! one mention of reader being smaller than him, one swear word, one tiny nsfw mention, g!n overall but reader is described as having hair long enough to tie up/braid and does their makeup
a.n | i need him :((
this cute lil mf i adore him
first of all he’s such a silly little goober
he’s shy so it takes him a while to get used to being completely authentic around you
but eventually he’ll relax when he knows for certain that you love him exactly how he is and he can be himself
he strikes me as the type to do the dumbest little things just so he can hear you laugh
a few examples:
sometimes when you’re kissing, out of nowhere he’ll blow air into your mouth to puff up your cheeks
he never does it during more serious and truly intimate moments (he can read the room)
but when he does it catches you off guard every time and it always sends you into a giggle fit because its just so stupid
you’ll go in to kiss him again but now you think he’s just gonna do it again even if he promises he won’t so you can’t continue without laughing
“i’m not even doing anything!” he pouts
but seeing you so giggly about something he did just makes him so happy (and proud)
if you’re sitting somewhere he’ll come over and just
sit on you
straight up knock the wind out of you and shuffle around, groaning like he can’t get comfortable
and act like he’s completely oblivious to the fact he’s literally using you as a cushion
he’ll pull out his phone and text you like “hey where are you :(“
and he pretends he can’t hear you if you try and talk to him
its already really hard for him to keep a straight face when he does this so all you have to do is tickle him
then he has to acknowledge you
“omg hi i didn’t even see you there!! :))”
in the same vein, he’ll come up to you while you’re standing and just flop his full weight onto you in a hug
if you clock it before it happens you’ll have to adjust your stance or grab onto something so you don’t fall over
but if you don’t then uh. good luck soldier
(just kidding he’ll catch you)
you do the same thing to him but he’s bigger and it doesn’t have the same effect on him
he loves it anyway though, he’ll drop anything he’s doing to wrap an arm around your waist
another thing he likes to do is use your hands to do things for him
like he’ll grab your hands and move them around, so really its still him doing it he’s just using your hands instead
mostly when he’s on his phone or if he’s playing a game
he holds your hand which holds his phone, and grabs your finger to scroll through his feed
or he’ll have you in front of him and gives you the game controller, reaching around you to puppet your hands
if you’re wearing a hoodie he shoves his arms through the sleeves with yours to make it easier
you’re more than likely wearing his hoodie anyway so he says its only fair that you share it
i’m a physical touch jisung truther if you couldn’t tell
he must always be touching you in some capacity
scientists have not proven why yet but the working theory is that jisung is a certified cutie
he just loves being close to you!! so physical affection is the best way to remind himself that you’re here with him :’)
canonically, jisung is a wanderer
he’ll trail around with no real destination in mind
he just has lots of thoughts in his head and likes to walk while he sorts them out
sometimes he’ll hold your hand and make you walk around with him if he’s feeling clingy (which is often)
other times he’ll just let you be
but he always kisses your cheek or your head when he passes by
absolutely the type to cling to you while you’re in the middle of a task and shuffle around the house with you
its just a little hard for him to sit still sometimes
even if he is sitting still, his hands are not
and i reiterate, he likes to be touching you in some way, so more often than not he’ll be playing with your fingers or your hair
jisung is also a canon rambler
mostly to himself
if you’re there he doesn’t expect a reply because really he’s just talking to himself
but if you have an opinion on the topic he’ll always listen
if he’s talking about something and you happen to fall asleep he keeps the conversation going by himself
once you told him that his talking made its way into your dream and you had a full blown rant about aliens with him while you were asleep
it was the cutest thing he’s ever heard
sometimes he’ll be so excited to say something that he’ll cut you off
he doesn’t mean to, it just comes out a little sooner than he means for it to, and he always apologizes
he gets better about that as time goes on
he has a habit of imitating things you say
not in the sense that he’s mocking you, he just likes the way it sounds when you say it so he tries to parrot it
he’ll do that with certain facial expressions you make too
jisung is a curious boy, and he loves to learn everything he can about the people he loves
he watches your favorite movies and shows with you, he takes the time to participate in your hobbies, he lets you take him to all of your favorite places
so he can get a glimpse into the aspects of your life that make you happy
his favorite thing though is watching you play your favorite video games
if you’re gaming he insists that you sit on his lap or between his legs so he can wrap his arms around you and rest his chin on your shoulder
he’s a little bit of a backseat gamer but you don’t really mind
its a bit annoying when he nags you about continuously losing a fight or dying on the same level (you know he means well)
but you love the input he gives on more slice of life type games, like decorating your animal crossing island or farming your crops in stardew valley
he did however just about have a heart attack when you showed him how many ways you knew how to kill a sim
co op games are one of his favorite ways to spend time with you as well
especially if one or both of you are absolutely shit at it (which if we’re being honest is like 95% of the time)
overcooked, however, is dangerous territory
too many soups burned
anyway, his curiosity doesn’t stop at just your hobbies and interests
even mundane things like daily habits and routines are things that jisung wants to know all about
along the way he’s picked up on such small things that you barely remember ever mentioning them
all of your preferences are filed away in his head
whenever you’re doing something like your hair or makeup or skincare, he’ll sit with you and ask what every aspect of it is or does
eventually he’ll ask if you can teach him how to do them for you
it definitely required a little.. practice
but no one is perfect the first time they try something new!!
(you had to tell him that, even he didn’t let you leave the house the first time he did your makeup)
he gets better though, especially doing your hair!
to the point that he got tired of doing simple ponytails and braids and took it upon himself to research new hairstyles to teach himself
you found it very endearing :’)
jisung loves to shower together
less in a sexual way (though he isn’t opposed) and more because it feels so intimate and domestic to him
and he adores when you wash his hair for him
feeling you gently massaging in the shampoo and scratching at his scalp is probably his favorite feeling in the whole world
in conclusion
jisung would be so sweet and clingy i love him to death :((
#i love him i love him#park jisung#park jisung fluff#park jisung x reader#park jisung headcanons#jisung fluff#jisung x reader#jisung headcanons#nct dream#nct dream fluff#nct dream x reader#nct dream headcanons#judah.doc
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Please more poly vampires please😭🙏! I can hardly ever find x male/masc reader stuff especially about monsters😭. What happens when they take us back to their home. What's gonna happen to us? What will the townsfolk react?
Poly!Vampires x Reader Pt. 2
CW: kidnapping, silas is a freak for a brief moment
waaaaa !! so sorry this took so long !! thank you all for being so patient with me ! >w< <3
update: i mixed up garrick and silas' names im sorry im sorry its fixed now guys im so-
🌙 Its been a week since the townspeople found your house empty, your bedroom looking like something out of a mystery novel.
🌙 The bed was stained with blood and claw marks were dug deep into your bedframe with the moonlight illuminating your room through your broken window.
🌙 It looked as if you've been taken by a creature of the night, but weirdly enough, your luggage was nowhere to be found. Your closet and drawers had clothes missing and the painting you had just finished was gone.
🌙 Who could have done this?
🌙 "Garrick, it's your turn to drive!"
🌙 "Already?! Just one more minute Viktor~?"
🌙 You're being held hostage, no, hostage wasn't the right word..kidnapped? Enslaved maybe? who knows..All you know was that these..creatures..will never let you out of their sight.
🌙 You remember that night when you bore witness to their inhuman ways, they were at the foot of your bed when you took out the crucifix under your pillow and held it to Viktor, his eyes turning all red and he hissed at the holy figure.
🌙 "Ohoho! Our little mortal's smart!" Garrick grins, showing off his sharp fangs.
🌙 Silas tries to grab you but you dodge, but his long claws managed to cut your cheek, you couldn't say the same for your bedframe..
🌙 Viktor gets a hold of you and chuckles darkly at your cut, the red liquid bleeding out of it made his mouth water.
🌙 "My my~ What a fierce little minx you are my darling~" he coos with a raspy cold breath as he licks your wound. The feeling made your stomach churn and your spine shiver.
🌙 Garrick was busy making a mess of your room and stuffing your clothes in bags. Also stuffing a pair of your underwear in his shirt for himself.. "Come on you idiots! It's almost dawn!" He whisper-yells as he fiddles with the window's lock.
🌙 Silas rolls his eyes and kicks the window, breaking it and jumping through, with Garrick holding his hand.
🌙 You were confused beyond compare. Were they really gonna kidnap you?! What's gonna happen to you?! Should you scream for help?!
🌙 "I'm sorry for this Darling.." Viktor says softly before knocking you out.
🌙 Now back to the present, the 3 rode around in a caravan, a charming little wagon that doubled as a moving home of sorts. One went in front and drove while the other two looked after you or did other things.
🌙 Every escape attempt you had would end up in failure, their superhuman senses were no match for you.
🌙 "Garrick you said that 10 minutes ago!" Viktor growls at the younger vampire.
🌙 Garrick groans "Fiiiiiine!" He says before giving you one last hug and kiss and going out with a coat to shield him from the sun.
🌙 You had about 10 seconds to yourself before Viktor sits down next to you and pulls you onto his lap.
🌙 "Oh how I missed your warmth little mortal~" He purrs, kissing your neck which made you tense up in fear of his fangs. He feels your heart beat faster and smirks. "Am I making you nervous~?" He teases.
🌙 Silas comes over and smacks the dark-haired man on the head "Enough Viktor! Don't you think our precious little darling is frightened already?" he scolds before smiling down at you warmly. Viktor just rolls his eyes and buries his face into your neck.
🌙 He hands you a cup of tea and sits down across from you and Viktor "Drink up dear, mortals like you need to stay warm in the winter~"
🌙 Silas was the most respectful one out of the 3, he was always taking care of you and making sure the others didn't make you feel uncomfortable, but of course he was just as obsessive of you as they were.
🌙 Viktor is such a cuddle bug, always hugging you close every chance he gets. He'd even have the luxury to sleep with you, an activity he hasn't done in a while. He might not need to sleep, but just lying in bed with your adorable sleeping form was like being in heaven for him.
🌙 Garrick love love loves chatting with you. Rambling to you about people he's killed or jewelry he's looted off of his food weren't the best topics to talk about, but he's got no one else to talk to! And you are his darling after all!
🌙 And you could do nothing about any of it. You were treated like a glorified pet and there was no way to leave or escape of have any time for yourself..
🌙 It continued on like this until the caravan came to a stop by a small town. The weather was much colder now than it was in your hometown with rain softly pouring down from the sky.
🌙 Your heart drops, knowing what they're going to do here.
🌙 They all come off the caravan, Silas going to give the horses some food. You refused to leave the caravan in your anxiety-stricken state.
🌙 Garrick notices your nervousness and smiles, sitting next to you and putting his forehead to yours "Darling, you miss home don't you~?" he coos softly.
🌙 You nod slightly as you refuse to look at him or even move.
🌙 The vampire sighs and rests his head on your shoulder and holds your hand. "I know honey...but we won't hurt you! And besides, you don't know these people anyway! You scared we'll kill them and stuff? It's fine! We do it all the time!" He laughs. He wasn't making anything better..
🌙 "You're shit at comforting people Silas." Viktor looks at the red head with a deadpanned expression. "Oh up yours Vik!" Garrick rolls his eyes at him.
🌙 At least that made you lighten up a bit..
🌙 Garrick pulls you up from your seat and you get out of the caravan, rain hitting your face before the vampire opens up an umbrella and holds you close to him so you don't get wet.
🌙 "Its fine dear, this is the last stop before we head back to our new home~" Silas walks over and places a kiss on your cheek.
🌙 Wait..home?..
🌙 "Now gentleman! Who's hungry~?"
sorry this is a bit short ! but feel free to request or ask anything about these blorbos! i love em a lot !
#yandere#yandere x gn reader#yandere x reader#male yandere#yandere oc#yandere male#oc yandere#yandere x male reader#tw yandere#monster#monster fucker#monster boyfriend#monster lover#monster x you#monster x human#monster x reader#vampire#vampire x reader#vampire x you#female reader#x reader#yandere x female reader#fem reader#female#trans male#x male reader#male reader
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During an interview, the manor guests suddenly get a question about you.
this is def an experimental format!! i got this idea while reading the character letters. in the POV of an unknown interviewer (not reader). reader uses they/them.
🔗⚰️📰🔮❤️🩹💉🌪️✂️🍀🩰🔫🪡🤹🧲🦋🐍
Q. Could you describe your relationship with (Y/N)?
🔗 Ada - "Yes, that's my lover. I would say our relationship falls within the typical scope of that sort of thing. Of course, I believe we share something special, but everyone does when they're in love, don't they?" She covers all her bases in one decisive breath, leaving little room for me to comment.
⚰️ Aesop sits perfectly upright, fingers threaded at his knees. His eyes drift to the side and he seems to begin speaking mid-thought. "I had... cautioned myself not to upset their perception of me," he explains. "But they pried, and stayed, regardless of what they found... For that, I'm grateful."
📰 Alice has kept a sharp eye on me the entire time, but it's at this question that she drops the formalities. "I wasn't aware you would be prying into my personal affairs. Where did you learn that name?" Her frankness pins me in place. For some reason, I end up apologizing.
🔮 Eli can't help a sheepish smile from blooming across his face. "Well, truthfully... I don't use this term lightly, but they might be the love of my life." He has been consistently grounded with his responses, so I'm surprised to catch him flustered, however subtle it is. Personally, I'm touched.
❤️🩹 Emil considers for a moment. He doesn't meet me in the eye, instead pinning his gaze on nowhere in particular. A faint smile ghosts his lips. After a while, he answers, simply, "Safe."
💉 Emily's hands are folded neatly on her lap. At the mention of that name, her shoulders tense, but she otherwise maintains her composure. "Someone I trust." Her answer is vague and cautious, but acceptable. I'll try to uncover a deeper meaning behind that 'trust'.
🌪️ Ithaqua - "Mine." He is curt and to the point. Yours? I echo, hoping he'll elaborate. His head tilts to the side, and while I can't see the face behind his mask, a sense of dread suddenly overcomes me. I decide not to press further.
✂️ Jack stretches out his hand of blades, flexing each finger in front of him. I can't deny the cold sweat that drips down my spine just by being in his presence. "May I respond with a question of my own?" he says to me. "Suppose a butterfly loses its way, and winds up caught in a spider's web. Wouldn't you agree that the more it writhes and struggles, the more exhilarated the spider becomes?" I don't have the courage to hear out the rest of this analogy.
🍀 Lucky - "I've always been known as a pretty lucky guy, but the luckiest day of my life was when I met them! I remember it was the—" He drags me down a long-winded story about their life together. I get the idea. Eventually I'm forced to cut him off.
🩰 Margaretha twirls a curl of hair, a meek blush dusting her cheeks. "Have you ever been in love before? You're never prepared for the magic of it all. I feel a new rush with them everyday. I know, realistically, all good things come to an end, so I tried to remind myself to expect the worst, but they've proven over and over that... I'll never feel safer than in their arms." After rambling for some time, a look of surprise flashes across her face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off like that. Oh, but I've just never met someone who feels so much like true love before."
🔫 Martha doesn't miss a beat. "Sorry, I don't know anyone by that name." I look down to double-check the name written in her file. Her watchful gaze follows my line of sight. Are you sure? I try. "Must've been some confusion somewhere," she insists. The next day, I realize all my files on her and (Y/N) have gone missing.
🪡 Matthias - "Wh-What?" he starts, but keeps going before I can repeat the question. "Oh, uh, an ally, I guess." Well, I gathered that much. When I press for more details, his head sinks low, fingers grasping at the armrest. "I don't know what they saw in me. Was it out of pity?"
🤹 Mike's eyes light up and he blinds me with a contagious smile. "(Y/N)'s a sneaky one, and I mean it—they've got me under the trickiest spell of all. Guess what happens every time I think about them?" Egged on by his grin, I take the bait. You get lovesick? I guess. Suddenly, he tosses a handful of butterfly glitter in my face. "I get butterflies!" Very funny, I sigh, exasperated with these carnies. Why did he have that on hand in the first place?
🧲 Norton leans back in his chair, scowling. "What's that got to do with anything?" He snaps a couple times in my face, urging me to "stay on topic." It's hard to say if this question struck a nerve, as he's been uncooperative for most of this interview, but my suspicions point me to prod further. After all, it'd have been much easier if he just said he didn't know them.
🦋 Vera's face contorts into a leery, hostile glower. "Why do you ask that?" Before I can say anything to mitigate the rising tension, she catches herself, and her expression softens slightly. "I'm sorry. That's... someone quite dear to me, so your question took me by surprise."
🐍 Yidhra's follower goes pale, clearly unnerved. "She won't answer that," she tells me through shallow breaths. "Th-This isn't my place to say, but I'd advise you not to involve yourself with that person." As if on cue, I get a sensation I can only describe as a hand slowly wrapping around my neck. It disappears when I move to scratch it. Must've been my imagination.
Part 2
#again this is super experimental but U__U im interested in doing the rest of the cast maybe#identity v#idv x reader#identity v x reader#norton campbell x reader#ithaqua x reader#eli clark x reader#matthias czernin x reader#mike morton x reader#vera nair x reader#martha behamfil x reader#margaretha zelle x reader#aesop carl x reader#yidhra x reader#jack x reader#emily dyer x reader#lucky guy x reader#emil x reader#alice deross x reader#ada mesmer x reader
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🌙 Moon Phases 🌙
Agatha Harkness X Fem!Reader
Chapter 1. - Chapter 2. - Chapter 3
Chapter 4. - Chapter 5. - Chapter 6
Chapter 7. - Chapter 8. - Chapter 9
Chapter 10. - Chapter 11. - Chapter 12
Chapter 13. - Chapter 14. - Chapter 15
Chapter 16. - Chapter 17.
Word Count: 1521
Chapter 17:
The lyrics left Agatha's lips smoothly, her good voice once again echoing across the room.
I have learned the lesson
Of all that's foul and fair
Our love was forged in Fire
Water, Earth, and Air
The spell is cast how long it lasts
I can not divine...
While other times you would let her voice enchant and put you in some sort of trance, this time you fought it.
Your fingers moved across the strings on their own, though more than once you dared to glance at them to ensure you were focusing on the right notes.
Who knew what would happen if you played a note wrong.
As the song continued and Agatha sang louder, you all joined her; once again backing her up like the first time you summoned the Road.
Yet despite the singing, everyone was on edge. Not only were they trying to see if they could spot this curse but also because of the raging fire that seemed to have started out of nowhere.
It spread almost all around and it was threatening to break your concentration, only for Agatha to snap and remind everyone to keep playing; the fire a clear sign that the curse was being harmed.
Close to the end, as Alice was getting carried away by the music; she dared to look up.
"The curse. I see it. I can see it." She exclaimed, and then something clicked in her mind. "I can kill it."
Your head snapped her way. "Then do it!" You barked at her, trying to be heard above the sound of music as the song was slowly coming to an end.
Wherever it may bend
I'll see you at the end
I'll see you at the end
I'll see you at the end
I'll see you at the end
I'll see you at the end
The last few lyrics came louder and louder, passion and need guiding the invincible magic emitted from all of you.
The loudest of all was Alice, now more determined than ever to defeat this curse for good; take revenge for her mother and every woman in her family that suffered because of it.
By the last lyric, Alice had spread her hands as flames seemed to erupt on and even behind her; giving quite a spectacle to all of you.
Once done, everyone exchanged looks; wondering if this was it or there was something more.
You did not feel the dark energy of the curse in the room, and something was telling you that you had been successful with this trial as well.
Your confirmation came as the metronome stopped ticking and he piano lid opened on its own, showing everyone a ladder and your way out.
"We did it!" Alice exclaimed, feeling lighter and stronger now that she had defeated the curse.
A smile formed on your lips and you looked at Agatha, who tried to hide her smile; though the relief was evident in her blue ones.
You had done it, you had finished one more trial and you were one step closer in reaching the end.
However, the good mood did not remain for something unexpected happened.
In the very next seconds, Teen collapsed on the ground; shocking everyone as you all rushed to check on him, worrying for the worst.
"Teen!" Alice exclaimed. "What happened?"
Agatha did not hide her worry this time. "What's wrong with him?"
Jen dared to move his coat to the side and her eyes doubled at the sight of a glass piece sticking into his flesh, blood slowlu coming out of it.
"He's bleeding."
You stared at the wound, feeling like an idiot for not spotting it right away. You should have, and yet you didn't, leaving the kid to loyaly play the guitar with you while fighting his injury.
"We've got to get him out of here." You ordered, and everyone nodded.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Working together, you all helpd carry the unconscious and injured boy out; before laying him on a big flat stone that had been conveniently appeared for you.
You were back in the woods, your clothes changed to normal but that was the least of your worries.
Your priority was to save Teen, though almost no one knew what to do. Jen made the mistake of pulling the glass piece out, only for the wound to get worse.
"There's so much blood." Agatha exclaimed, passing her hands through her thick hair while trying not to panic
Jen tried to put pressure on the wound, do her best to help stop the bleeding. "I got it." She snapped back.
It was not enough for Agatha. "What else can we do? What else can we do?"
Lilia looked at the boy and then at her. "He's young. He's strong..."
"Don't!" Agatha exclaimed, pointing a finger at the older woman. However, her expression did not remain cold for long as worry took over. "Don't." Her voice cracked.
You had never seen her that way, so vulnerable and open... it brought pain to your heart but also made you wonder what was the true connection between her and the boy.
To react such way... you felt there was more behind it, or you fear she was reacting due to her past trauma with her son; Nicholas.
The wound kept bleeding, and not even Jen could help, not without her magic. Fearing for the worst, Agatha turned to you.
"Please" she begged, using a tone you swore you would never hear before. "Please, save him" she continued, fully aware you could do something; he coven's last chance in saving him.
"Agatha -" You tried to stop her, for she seemed to have forgotten how you did not directly interfere with such things.
She did not let you continue as she moved to grab both your hands into hers. She looked deep into your eyes, doing her best to remain in control.
"I trust you. You can do this. Please... save him..." she begged once again, making it impossible for you to argue.
A lump formed at the back of your throat, and in the end, you nodded. "Okay," you sighed, and she let you go before taking a few steps back.
You turned to the other witches and walked closer to the flat stone, eyeing the bleeding wound and the unconscious boy. His skin was paler than before, and you swore he did not have much time to live unless you did something.
Ignoring the stares of the other women, you losesned your tie. In the process, your three phased moon necklace was drawn from its hidden place beneath your swirt; earning a silent gasp from Lilia, who noticed it first.
Next, your sleeves were pulled up all the way to your elbow; making visible a faint birth mark on the inside of your wrist; the same symbol of your necklace, forever imprinted on your skin.
You took a few deep breaths as you concentrated, feeling the faint moonlight coming from above. It passed through thick dark branches, forming beams of white light that fell on the small clearing and on you.
Your eyes closed, and you turned your palms to be parallel to the ground and to one another. Your fingers curled faintly as suddenly white magic started to form and gather at the space between your palms.
Jen and Alice gasped faintly when your white magic started to extend, creating thin branches of magical energy that passed next to them; illuminating faintly the dark atmosphere around you all.
Alice even dared to extend a finger, impulsively thinking of touching it, only for Jen to slap her wrist and pull it down; giving her a look.
Your eyes were half open, preventing the others from noticing your white irises as your magic rushed through your veins and your body. Slowly, you brought your hands towards the wound before flipping the palms so both were facing the injury.
You gently touched the wound, feeling the warm sensation of blood tickling your skin but you focused as your magic started to enter the boy's body; cleansing and cleaning his wounds.
Some white branches of it spread around the boy's body, giving him an ethereal look. One single strand reached his face before gently entering his nose.
The very next second, Teen took a deep breath; his chest rising and falling with it. Yet his head fell back in exhaustion and trauma, but he was alive.
You withdrew your bloody hands, allowing everyone to see that the wound was gone; a faint scar was the only reminder that it was once there.
"He should be fine. Just let him rest for a while" you explained as you looked at them, your eyes back to normal as your magic had disappeared; leaving the plain old you standing there.
"Thank you," Agatha muttered in a faint whisper, barely audible to the others.
You offered her a gentle small smile, all you could master at the moment. Seeing hope back in her blue eyes was the reward you did not need but also the reassurance that you had done right; acting and saving the kid.
Chapter 18
#agatha all along#i know jen healed Teen#but I wanted to give Reader sme credits#You have no idea how long I waited to publish this chapter#agatha spoilers#agatha harkness#agatha fanfic#agatha x reader#agatha harkness x reader#moon phases fanfic#marvel#kathryn hahn
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spread thin
Summary: You and Steve have been best friends for the entirety of your lives, always platonic and nothing more. As graduation approaches, you find yourself wishing that something would come out of this decades-long relationship. During a recurring Friday movie night, you confess your feelings to him, not realizing the man had felt the same way the entire time.
cw: 18+, mdni, smut, fem!reader, she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, unprotected sex, fingering, creampie
2.9k+ words
The boy in front of you was beautiful. He was everything that you had pictured in a man, yet nothing of the sort that you imagined yourself to be with. He was handsome, charismatic, funny-- every good thing that could come with a boy.
But he wasn't yours.
Steve was everything and everyones before the label of yours could be applied.
"yn?"
His voice sounded throughout the fluorescent room, it's white walls allowing you to be caught in the midst of your thoughts. You met his eyes, his dark brown searching for clarification in the color of your own.
"Sorry, just..." your hands tightened around the broom, glancing down at the foot of tile you hadn't realized you were sweeping repeatedly for the last ten minutes. "A lot on my mind, graduation and all."
He stood there for a second, nodding as his hands graced the cash register in front of him. He had a hint of something on his face, something you couldn't recognize from his normal expressions. He suddenly shrugged, shaking his head to himself as he paid attention to the machine.
"Well... I'm just about done here," he supplied before closing the drawer. "Whenever you're done, I was thinking that we could head to mine? Movie night, drinks?"
You nodded, smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. This was normal between the two of you. You have been best friends since kindergarten, it was always SteveandYn and YnandSteve.
He smiled back at you, walking around the corner.
"Well, let's get out of here, then." He took the broom from your hands, placing it in its respective supply closet. "I found a copy of that new horror movie on VHS, and you're going to love it."
As you two closed up shop, you made your way through the mall. His car was parked in the back of the lot, giving you ample time to think of what had been plaguing your mind lately. These feelings for Steve hadn't came out of nowhere, they had been building for the last couple of years as he became more popular. King Steve as they called him. You held back the eye roll of the remark, knowing that people didn't understand the true character of the man.
Calling him something like that only emphasized his woman-user ways, but did not touch on the sweetness he had to him. He was painted as a player, someone that did not care about women. Deep down, you knew that wasn't true.
His shoulder bumped into yours, shaking you of your thoughts. Steve opened the passenger door, holding his hand out as he did a faux bow.
"M'lady."
Giggling, you rolled your eyes and settled in the car as he made his way over to the driver's seat. As he got situated and started the vehicle, he glanced over at you.
"What's going on? You've been so... distant lately."
Sighing, you turned your head towards the window.
"'S nothing, Steve."
He pulled out into the main road, leaving the mall further and further into the distance. "You've been so weird, it can't be nothing."
"I'm fine." You smiled through your teeth, covering the true gnawing at your heart that plagues you. He spared a glance in your direction, huffing as he knew you were lying.
"Sure."
The rest of the car ride was quiet, only the sounds of the radio quietly buzzing some song in the background. Steve tapped his fingers to the beat as you focused on the drive in front of you, cars passing as he made his way to his house. With every block, the dim street lights hit your face, exposing more and more of the true emotional state that you were in. It was becoming too much to hide now.
You hadn't noticed as he pulled into his driveway, a dark house with no one home in front of it. Your passenger door suddenly opening startled you.
"Jesus, Steve," you mumbled, getting out as you smoothed down your work uniform. "Give a girl a warning, yeah?"
"Oh, quiet. 'S not like you would've heard it anyways," he had a grumpiness to his voice, something that only confused you even more. What was wrong with him?
You followed him through the front door, lights turning on as he made his way to the kitchen. A beer was placed in your hand, and you looked down to inspect it. The cheap kind, PBR. So it was going to be one of those nights.
Steve loosened the collar of his uniform, letting it hang open as he cracked open his own drink. He was still staring at you, as you leaned against the counter.
"You're really not going to tell me?" His brown eyes were huge at this point, his bottom lip jutting out as he pouted in your direction. "Please, yn?"
You took a swig, grimacing at the bitter taste of the beverage.
"'M just stressed about graduation," you answered, twirling your drink around as you focused on the exposed part of his chest. A tuft of hair poked out there, you imagined what it would feel like between your fingers.
"What about it?"
You broke the focus, walking closer to him so you could take a seat on the counter beside him. He turned his body towards you, forearms leaning on the white tile as he looked up into your eyes. This angle allowed you to see into the deep brown of his irises, the overhead light hitting in a way that made your breath catch in your throat. They were the same eyes you remember from childhood, his long lashes that framed them always so right.
You took another sip of the drink in your hand, thumb playing with the tab at the top of the aluminum. His hand reached out, touching the top of your thigh where your navy blue shorts ended.
Nervousness settled over you as his thumb began to rub small circles on the exposed skin.
"Come on, you could tell me. Anything, remember?"
The look in his eyes and his begging was hard to resist. You had always told Steve your secrets, your worries, no matter how ridiculous they seemed to be.
You sighed, ready to let this burden off of your chest. Now or never, yn, what's the worst that could happen?
"I'm just worried about what's coming next," you said, finishing off your drink this time. The empty can hit the tile next to you, ringing throughout the kitchen. "Things changing, people growing, leaving."
His brow furrowed, confusion crossing hit features. He stood up, settling in closer to you. His eye level was right below yours this time. You could smell his cologne mixed in with the faint smell of ice cream. So enticing, yet you had to ignore it.
"Are you talking about us?" His hand left your thigh, moving to place his hands on either side of your waist. His waist sat in front of your crossed knees, body leaning slightly as he looked into your eyes. Heat settled into your core, your body reacting to the proximity of him between your legs. "You know, nothing's ever going to change between us. We've always been best friends, always will be."
And there it is. The pit of your stomach gnawing as that realization settled over you. Best friends.
A familiar sting hit your eyes as you began to blink it away. You thought you were being inconspicuous, but he noticed.
"Hey, hey, hey." His voice was a whisper now as he stepped closer, pushing your thighs apart. His hand reached up to touch the side of your cheek, thumb brushing under your eye.
Concern was etched all over his features. He searched your eyes for an explanation, his calloused hands rubbing over the delicate skin of your face. He was so close now, you could lean in and kiss him. Feel the true pout of his lips against yours.
"...Steve," you muttered, shaking your head. "I was just hoping tha- you know, what, nevermind."
He was patient, waiting for your words to come out as the two of you sat in silence. Your mind was racing, thoughts of King Steve with a million other girls floating around. Why tell him when he can whoever? You've been friends for years, why would he want to hear this now when there has been years where something could have happened.
"Tell me."
You sighed, taking a deep breath as you closed your eyes. It was easier to think with them shut, the beautiful boy in front of you no longer being a distraction.
"I was hoping things would stay the same between us," you blurted out. Your heart was racing, word vomit on the tip of your tongue. "Things would stay the same in college, but I know they won't because you're going to be focused on the next interesting person, the next beautiful girl who's not me and is so much better than me."
He didn't answer, but you felt his hand leave the side of your face. The pit at the bottom of your stomach growing more. You kept your eyes closed, finding comfort in the darkness.
You chose to continue, "I just hear everyone talking about King Steve this and King Steve that, and I just can't help but think about how much worse it will be once you're no longer forced to be friends with me."
Suddenly, you felt a mouth on yours, slightly chapped lips brushing against yours quickly. Your eyes flew open, staring at the boy in front of you.
Steve had a smile on his face, eyes drifting over your shocked face. Your mouth opened and close as you find yourself at a loss of words. You found the words, a single syllable escaping your lips before he shushed you.
His hand returned to his cheek as his lips found yours again, moving with a fever that was missing previously. He seemed more urgent, needy in this moment as his hands began to explore your body.
Before you knew it, your legs were opening wider, inviting his body even closer to your core. You felt drunk, despite the single drink running through your veins. It was intoxicating, feeling his mouth against yours and his fingers in your hair.
Is this real life? You couldn't help but think you were imagining it all.
Steve breaks the kiss, fingers dancing at the bottom of your shirt, threatening to lift the hem there.
"Can I-?" He began to lift it as you nodded vehemently, lifting your arms. It came off your frame, exposing you in your white bra. The cool air hit your body, quickly replaced with the heat of his body.
His lips finds your jaw, slopping making his way down your neck. Pants escape your mouth, your vision becoming blurred as his fingers find your waistline. His thumb dipped into the band of your pants, teasing to expose your edge of your panties.
"S-steve, please."
All you saw was a flash of his hair as you were pushed back slightly, the pants beginning to slip down your hips. You adjusted the way you were sitting, allowing Steve the ease to free you of the restriction. He leaned down slightly, placing sloppy, open mouth kisses to your chest bone, hands returning to their residence of your hips.
You placed a hand in his hair, pulling him back up to meet your lips. He smiled through the kiss, nipping at your bottom lip. Your legs wrapped around his waist, bringing him even closer as you felt his bulge rub against your heat.
You muttered a fuck as he began to rub against you, cock hard against the restriction of his own pants.
"Want more, baby?" He whispered, hand coming up to grab at your breast, squeezing in all the right places. You threw your head back in ecstacy, hips shooting up to rub against him even further. Your hands found his own waistline, pulling as you struggled to get them off.
"Patience now, my love."
His sweet words made you ache even more, grinding your heat against the shape of his cock. The free hand remaining on your hip moved, brushing over the wet spot you were making in your panties. A small shout escaped you, nerves throbbing at the feeling of his thumb brushing against your clit over the thin cloth.
You looked at him, all his glory as he stared hungrily down at your panties. This thumb was brushing over your clit through your underwear, watching as the wet spot increased.
"Is it that, baby," he breathed, glancing up at your spent face. Nodding, you spread your legs further, mewling as his index finger dipped them to the side. He brushed over your fluttering hole, paying attention to the way you arched your back.
Eyes closing involuntarily, your breath hitched as you felt his two of his fingers playing at your entrance. Your thoughts jumbled, focusing only on the feeling of his digits slowly pushing in. You mewled, white heat crossing over your body as they pushed in further, beginning to slowly pumping in and out of you.
"Fuck Steve, m-more." You couldn't hold back anymore, your hand reached up to grab his at your breast. Blinking your eyes slowly, you stared into his hooded ones, watching as he removed himself from you. He fumbled at his waistline, pushing his pants low enough to free his cock, swollen and dripping with need.
You reached out to it, pulling him closer. Your lips met again, a desperate connection of the moment as his fingers rake through your hair. He tasted like spearmint and the remnants of his beer, breath heavy against yours as his cock rubbed against your center.
He pushed your white panties to the side, his cock in hand as it rubbed against your wet entrance. You couldn't get enough, arching your hips so you could feel him closer, hard and firm.
He guided himself within you, stretching you wide. You couldn't tell if it was him or you at this point, throbbing with desperation as your hips bucked wanting to feel him closer.
Steve stopped at the hilt, hips flush against yours as your legs locked behind his thighs.
"Good?" He asked, breath heavy at this point and words incoherent. He went back and forth between squeezing his eyes shut and trying to stare into yours. Your tightness throbbed around him, clouding his thoughts with the feeling of wanting to take you fast and rough.
"Yes, baby, more."
You pulled him even closer to you, the hook of your ankle rubbing against his pants bunched up at his thigh. Only now did you realize, he was still wearing his uniform, wrinkled and bunched up, exposing only his groin and the bottom of his stomach. The desperation of this moment fueling him to see you in your glory, wanting to have access to you as fast as possible. You watched as he reared his hips back only to push into you once more, slowly but feverish in their movement.
He began to roll his hips, urging moans and pants out of your mouth. He kisses them away, swallowing them as you become louder with each thrust of his hips. The pleasure fills your body, drawing you closer and closer towards that breaking point as his hips continue.
His hands are at your hips, fingers gripping your ass as you sit on the counter, sliding back and forth with each movement he makes. His nails leave little half moon marks as his knuckles grow white, fucking into you relentlessly.
Ah, fuck and yes, baby and you like that escapes his mouth, mouth agape as he watches you unfold in his grasp.
You're almost pissed off at him, at yourself, for not doing this sooner. But the thought escapes your mind, the feeling of euphoria dripping over you as he brushes over something deep inside you. Shock waves took over you as a white heat came over you, exploding and tingling throughout your spine.
Your mind was clouded as you rode through the shock waves, pulsing around him as he thrusted deeper, closer towards his own peak. A low, guttural noise escaped him as you felt him release deep inside. His chest heaves as he rides through it, burying his face into your shoulder. A bite mark was left in its place, the feeling of stickiness between your thighs as he slowly pulled out of you, leaving you with a small moan.
He brushed over your slit one more time, over stimulation coursing through you with a small yelp.
Steve's face was buried into your shoulder, nipping and kissing at the bitten skin there as the two of you struggled to catch your breath. His skin was slightly damp from the high, his chest rising and falling against yours.
"Can I tell you something, yn?" His voice was in a whisper.
You nodded, losing all words. He chuckled, leaning his head back so he could look you in your eyes.
"I knew you felt that way," he supplied, coy smile on his face. Your eyes widened as you hit his chest, laugh erupting out of him. "I felt the same."
"Steve!"
"I was just waiting for you to make the first move. I can't be King Steve when I'm with you."
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#fanfic#steve x reader#steve harrington x you#drabble turned fic#my writing#I've been thinking how much I love this man#and I had to put it down in words#hope you enjoy#kisses
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